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Do You Have To Love Yourself Before You Find Love?



Rumour has it that you have to love yourself before you find love. New age rumour. The new age seems to have a number of unsubstantiated rules and regulations that have become part of the collective unconscious, and while they might come with good intentions, can cause more harm than good. That someone has to love themselves before they can love others or find love is one of them. Anyone can love anyone else anytime they feel like it, and definitely someone who has not yet learn to love themselves, which is the majority of people, can still find love and a relationship

Loving yourself definitely helps to find love, as the energy someone functions on and emanates is higher and more inviting to others. In fact, it's possible to be in love, even before meeting someone. Being in love is a magnet, therefore attraction and love are easy to manifest. It's the natural state of the human being. Whether we are connected or not to such source is a different story. This is a fact that I know from experience, and which I believe to be true for many. However, it's not an essential step in the quest of love. 

Telling someone to love themselves before finding love is the same as telling people that  they don't deserve love. While the intention might be good it can affect the confidence and self-esteem in someone who's already feeling low or unworthy of love and send them straight to depression. What in the spur of the moment -because this is a cliché- and could sound wise coming from someone who goes from cliché to cliché in order to look well versed in the spiritual journey, is not wisdom. It's actually a rather unwise thing to say.

Furthermore, someone who loves themselves, but have not been able to find love or the appropriate person to have a relationship with could begin to believe that they're also unworthy of love. There are many people who love themselves that remain single for this reason. This is a limiting belief and one that goes along the line that we're not good enough, and that we don't deserve love.

Over the years I had the pleasure of serving many clients, mostly working on their relationships issues. I have not yet worked with anyone who wasn't deserving of love or couldn't find it, as they all reunited qualities and attributes worth having and worth loving. Most of the issues they were dealing with were obstacles that people find to love or to be loved, which is a natural stage to go through for everyone, and which are developed throughout life by a constant exposure to abusive elements. The reasons to reach such beliefs are simple. This is what we've all been told repeatedly from birth, if not by parents, by siblings, friends, peers, stranger or by the many voices of the collective unconscious.

People might be facing fear of love or intimacy, fear of rejection or abandonment, feeling unworthy, recovering from deep traumas caused by abuse of neglect. Some people have greater social skills, others may be less attractive, but still attractive to someone. All these reasons influence people's self-worth and confidence, but there's no reason why anyone couldn't find love.

Having worked with so many people in building their strengths, positive attributes and self-esteem in order to help them solve their limiting beliefs, I know that it can be a lengthy process, which can be dismantled by sentences such as this. And it is a sentence. A prison sentence. Most people already live in the prison of their limiting beliefs. We don't need more of it, especially not coming from the spiritual community.

I also know from experience that in order to reach a successful outcome, clichés don't help. There's not one standard answer for everyone. The problem with throwing clichés around camouflaged wisdom, is that everyone is dealing with different issues, and that while one answer serves many, it might not apply to the someone else. Even the same answer has to be adapted to the character, personality and experience of that person.

It's not possible to treat everyone in the same way, therefore clichés don't work. Clichés only work in the collective unconscious, while love is an energy that moves in the collective consciousness. There's a great difference between both, as there's is between shadows and light. Clichés are in fact great selling techniques targeting people's weaknesses. A cliché is the box everyone talks about. It doesn't require thinking.

Everyone is born in love. From that moment on, we learn fear from family, society and culture. Learning not to love ourselves is a consequence of how society as a whole is separated from collective consciousness and any resemblance of love. Love is not what drives the world. Fear is, and so, people do respond with reactions to love.

The tragedy is that unconsciously we continue doing to ourselves what it has been done to us, acquiring and prolonging bad habits, which become normal automatism for survival. Family and social pressure follow a pattern and modern of education that is nothing but a bullying system that forces most people not to be themselves. While adapting to uniformity, we lose authenticity. It's nor surprising that many people insist on the important of self-love and self-parenting.

It's important to consider that someone people had terrible experiences in relationships or just ended one, what makes, asking someone to love themselves in order to receive something that is natural to us all; love. It's the same manipulative and controlling attitude that individual and the collective have used forever. You can't have this until you've done that.

There's nothing to prove to anyone. Nothing that we have to do in order to love or be loved. This popular saying has nothing to do with love. If you believe that you need to do something to find love, you'd need to keep doing something to keep love, which is an unconscious reactions to fear of abandonment. It's the illogical reasoning imposes and demands love: I love you, hence, "you have to love me back."

While learning and exploring self-love, self-care or tackling some of the deeper barriers that affect the development of the relationship that we have with the self and/or a partner, to love yourself first is not a requirement to find love. Love is everywhere and it could appear anytime.

We've been taught to fear from the beginning of our lives, and acquired every other sub-product of fear there is, which we implement in our relationships with others. It's time that we begin to understand and speak the qualities of love, and with the qualities of love, which sound and feel of freedom, creativity and expansion. There are no rules. I wish people stopped punishing others with this so-called new age wisdom.

Listen not to the words of others, but to the feeling you have when talking to others. If it's a conversation about love and it's not uplifting, it's probably not loving.

Since publishing this blog post last night, I've received numerous replies, mostly unkind, to put it mildly. First, I already wrote about how magnetic and attractive one can become when one vibrates in love and the feeling comes from within without the need for someone else to make us feel complete. The blog post can be found in this blog. Second, this is not an article on self-love, just pointing out the lazy sentence that leaves people feeling unworthy of love. Third, most of the comments I've read have been unkind, condescending and even abusive, not to mention that they were off topic, and it seems that didn't read the article, just wanted to put their message across.

I don't know how people can talk about self-love while using abusing and patronising language. It only proves my point further that some people talk about things they don't know about it because they don't feel it. If there's no love in the language, there's no love in the message.




Related articles:

The Freedom in Being Authentic.




The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly 
 











Five Articles Towards More Conscious Relationships.



The word out there is that the number of people seeking more conscious relationships is on the rise. Conscious relationships offer an open space in which both individuals can express themselves freely, so as to embrace the other in a constant dance of authenticity. Conscious only means that there's a deliberate attempt to work through obstacles, triggers and dramas by understanding the self, then others. On principle this creative space is found in all relationships. What makes a difference is that the effort is deliberate, allowing a variety of emotional and practical tools to operate in order to create a more dynamic and successful relationship. 

There are no limits to what two people can achieve in a relationship if they both consciously work on expanding. Relationships can help to debunk inflexible myths and stereotypes that keep people stagnant. It's perhaps the best space to heal traumas and to learn what we really want from life and love. Not all relationships serve the purpose, nor would contribute to improve either the self or the way we interact with others and the world. While there's not a magic formula that serves all, as any insight requires flexibility and adapting to new patterns, beliefs and habits, it's possible to find the right direction through awareness, which is the intention of this blog post. What one does or doesn't do with this information if implemented always comes down to a personal choice to improve the self, in order to be more whole, more magnetic, more attractive; more authentic. 

The first article, Seekers After Truth deals with truth. A necessary journey within that helps to know more about who we are not until somebody gets to know who and what they really are. While this is a personal exercise, the support of a loving partner makes the journey a more fulfilling experience from a place of understanding and compassion. 

Shadow Work is another essential tool to have in mind throughout the relationship. The process is done both, individually and as a couple. In the book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' there's a detailed description of the process, as well as treating different dynamics in relationships. There are incredible benefits to shadow work for those interested in creating a more conscious relationship, not only with their partners, but with the self. 

In Twin Flames and Fear Of Love, to which it could be added intimacy, even though it a different subject and one that will be published in this blog shortly, the reader can explore some of the obstacles that people create when facing love and in relationships. It also deals with what the deep root that leads many people to abandon relationships or not to begin one. 

Sacred Sex: Honouring Heart, Body, Soul And The Miracle of Love is an exploration on the ever expanding possibilities that a couple can find through sex, as well as the importance of love, foreplay and playfulness between two lovers. 

Finally, The Problem With Trust delves into one of the most common issues that a couple face in a relationship, and ways in which they might deal with it once there's an awareness and acceptance that this might be a problem. 

Over the years, most of the people I've coached on relationships and personal development expressed great interest in dealing with relationship issues mostly, and while it's important to be aware of the dynamics in relationships, most of them agreed that they could have avoided breaking up with their couples if they've built their relationships on some of the solutions provided in these five articles instead of leaving everything to chance. With greater awareness, the chances are that relationships become happier and successful. 

Most issues in relationships, if not all could be solved by simply focusing on love, as love is the true alchemy to transformed everything. Every article written and read, every piece of advice, any understanding on the dynamics in relationships mean nothing if love is not the driving force. 



The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly








  


Be Wild At Heart In The Quest Of Love And Freedom.



There's this society we live in, built and absorbed by the collective unconscious in which obsolete rules and beliefs keep the human being dazed in a cloud of fear, thwarting dreams, keeping people limited by old paradigms that no longer serves humanity's evolution. The so-called experts and scientists predict the devolution of the human being with 'proven' theories of gloom and doom, which only serve to inject more fear, which in turn closes the heart of the collective, as well as of the individual, and with it, to deter hope and faith in the limitless expansion that a person is truly capable of. Within this cloud, numerous hearts hold on to the real possibility of a conscious world, no longer buying into the lie. In following the call of the heart and the soul, they're called, wild

The same experts and scientists work for the establishment devising and creating more ways in which to keep the human being small, limited and living in constant fear. 

There's that other society that lives in everybody's hearts. 

There are numerous terms to tag the wild ones with, but none truly describe who they are: the misfits, the black sheep, hippies, bohemian, the lone wolf; the outcasts. They are the poets, the artists, the dancers, the healers, the wanderers, the heartbreakers. It's the prodigal child that never returns. It's an anarchic army that moves away from the anesthetising normality, breaking the rules, even laws. 

While breaking the law is not something that can be promoted, it only takes one look at the state of the world to see that lawmakers and law enforcers also break them, often causing harm to others. Most laws are obsolete, and a vast majority, unjust. 

The energy of the collective unconscious is crammed with so many rules and limitations that it's impossible for most people to live with a minimum sense of freedom. While it's an energy that most people don't feel, the threat of punishment and exclusion has been so widely promoted that it lies deeply ingrained in the psyche and hearts of most people. It's no wonder that life doesn't flow as it's supposed to be. More concerned on what we have than who we are.

You will hear stories about the wild one, as if they were a shadow figure not to be approached, nor spoken to, for he and she will undoubtedly be a bad influence. The wild at heart breaks through conventions and traditions that do not allow the free expression of the individual. It's not that all their actions are spotless or ventures to be proud of. They're loved at home, but not wanted. 

As someone who doesn't fit into any box, wandering from place to place it turns into a way of living. The call of the soul within is too intense to conform. The heart does not grow fondness for anything that doesn't serve its purpose, an as a consequence this person tends to be detached, on a path of letting go. 

While everything you've read so far might invite to romanticise the figure of the wild at heart, it's best not too. Being wild at heart is not about creating another mythological figure of which freedom and courage people speak of and recognise after their death, while the mourners remain unconscious. Being wild is a way of living, a protest against what no longer serves humanity, an act of rebellion against the establishment and a personal decision to break through each and every obstacle created by mankind to stop the beautiful expression of the self. 

And yet, the wild at heart, it's the most romantic of all. 

There's a common belief that in order to build something, first we must destroy something else. In architecture it works wonderfully, but as a person moves across life destroying or dismissing anything that imposes limitations or feels like imprisonment, and this is often the heart of others, it's a pattern not truly applied to people. In this case, what they destroy most is the themselves in the process of creating the self.

Being wild is a way to come of the comfort zone, to break from fear and to remember who someone really is through a series of mistakes. Mistakes that are being made because risks are taken, and while on occasion they might be wrong, it is no better to remain static within a system knowing that it is the system what's already wrong and broken. 

Risks challenge fear. Mistakes clears the path showing which direction not to take. 

To remain true to what someone already knows to be a lie, as it is the current system, is one sure way to never live, to never love, to never pursue, nor fulfill someone's dreams. People are considered wild because they refuse to buy the lie that the majority used to mortgage their lives, knowing well that in such reality they sacrifice most dreams and desires. If the current model proposed is so wonderful, why is no one happy with it?

If you walk the wild path, you will be criticised, even demonised; fingers will be pointed at you for your choices. Judgment and criticism is one of the main reasons people do not dare to live their dreams, but at this point it's essential to consider that everyone is criticised. What we are blamed for, it's a personal choice. What matters in the end is the sense of freedom, despite the strenuous efforts someone might have to make in order to free themselves from the lie and the hypocrisy of the world. 

It's a matter of staying true to the self or to become a shadow of who one is capable of being. Throughout history there have been a large number of people who were considered wild or mad, people who risked and lost either their freedom or their lives, sometimes both. There's no need to go to extremes and seek the heroic romanticism of the past. In order to remain free, one only needs to stop buying into the lie. This step is as simple as to stop leading a life in which materialism is more important than the spiritual or more important than your heart.

Being wild is a call that emerges deep from the heart; a call that everyone has, but not everyone follows. To criticise or to condemn those who chose to pursue the call of freedom instead of a complying with society's model is a symptom of the decease of dissatisfaction and depression that plagues the collective unconscious, which, while doing nothing creative to explore their hearts and souls, they have too much time to talk about others. A clear sign of the unhappiness that dazes the world. People who are happy leading their lives, don't have time, nor they'd waste it if they had it on personal choices or ways of living that do not affect them. 

It's too easy, as well as highly hypocritical to condemn the lost of innocent lives after a bombing, while the critic knows that their vote and support for a political party allowed certain people in power with no regards for human life in the first place. The terms to describe these characters are: sociopaths and psychopaths. It's not enough to say that the other party would have done the same. This is not just buying into the limitation, but to live happily unhappy within the lie. Until the bomb drops on their houses, that is!

It's only through self-exploration and the transformation of the self that the world will reach a higher state of consciousness and a sense of unity. Many social models have been proposed throughout history. Models that didn't work because people continue living their lives in the most unconscious and selfish ways, primarily caring only about themselves. To reach a state of higher consciousness, the sense of freedom, so as to embrace it all, to be and live in a permanent state of being in love, one must first face their fears. Being wild on a Friday evening binge drinking and misbehaving is not really being wild. One can be wild, peaceful and orderly.  

If you're seeking freedom at one point you will have to stand up, raise your voice and tell the world and your critics who you are. This is done by a way of living, by making a constant statement that confirms your commitment to yourself and your choices. Fear might appear and has to be faced, but it's even more scary to live an unhappy life. 

To be called wild or mad is not an insult, but a compliment. The wild at heart is a leader, a precursor like there have been so many before. A leader of their own fate that follows the vision and the feeling of freedom. Of course, it's a personal choice to follow the heart and manifest our deepest wishes and dreams. Don't ask yourself what you're losing if you don't stay. Ask yourself and envision where you'd be if you decided to follow your heart instead. 

Related posts:





The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly 
 





















When The Twin Flame Runner Decides To Stay.



There's an evocative presence even in their absence attached to the figure of the twin flame runner. In the current level of collective consciousness, there's a tendency to romanticise that one lover that got away. It's human condition to celebrate our defeats, both collective and personal; to make a landmark of a deep wound that could, and indeed does condition people's ability to live from the heart, sometimes affecting their ability to love fully again. The sense of nostalgia and loss sinks deep along with the memory of the runner once they're gone, somehow keeps people on edge, understanding pain as the only way to find motivation in the quest of love

Collective consciousness stores the popular knowledge and wisdom that people access in order to find solutions practical and existential dilemmas. There are different rooms in this library, different levels. Which one we access can have a great influence in where we go next and how we feel about it. Too often the solutions chosen are the ones that never worked. This library is out there, but it's also within, and when we understand one, we understand the other. 

It doesn't have to be this way. It's possible to regain a sense of self based on inner strength and beauty. The feeling within has an incredible power to determine someone's identity, character and personality. Pain and suffering keep people distracted from their true core. The magic of the soul is always here and now for everyone has access to it anytime they wish, and it can be accessed with a conscious thought. However, thoughts, feelings and emotions reflected on the mirror of the runner creates a distorted image  that we have of ourselves. 

The first emotional response after separation tends to be heartbreak. Vital energy is depleted. In the space created by abandonment one hears the echoes of what everyone, or nearly everyone heard form birth: that they're not good enough. The twin flame is exceptionally good at challenging us with constant reminders. It's up to us to challenge these beliefs and embrace our authenticity. The idea and belief that we have on what love and loyalty really are can be misleading. In the name of love, too often we become doormats to the irate speech of our lovers.

The twin flame is not here to give constant validation. They are here to love and be loved.

Being abandoned by a partner confirms what the noise of the world repeats and that so deeply ingrained remains in the human psyche. As people do not feel good enough, they project the same image on anyone else, regardless of how amazing and authentic they might be. 

Abandonment triggers such belief, as the sudden loss of the lover is embodied by our whole being without questioning it. All one sees is the current reality; a sad reality that has never been neither real, nor true. The truth is that everyone is more than enough, and while there might be differences between every person, how we can achieve or are capable of, everyone is deserving of love. To speak of someone or to someone with such disdain and condescension is an old paradigm used by people who don't feel enough, and whom might have never had anyone celebrating their qualities and natural talents. 

The runner is no different to anyone else. However high is the opinion they have of themselves, they also live under the I'm-not-good-enough paradigm, which extends to fear of love, abandonment and intimacy. It's a complex and explosive cocktail of emotions to live with that most people find difficult, if not impossible to cope with. To understand why the runner abandons the relationship while it might be obvious that they're still in love and for no apparent reason, it's important to realise that their own demons are running wild through the dark chambers of the soul, and that you, as their lover or twin flame are a constant reminder of what they're experiencing through emotions. 

What doesn't make sense to you, it does to them. How they rationalise it and how willing they are to face these demons might determine whether they stay or they go. Love is not always enough, if in the company of demons and fears, the feeling they experience is the weakening of their vital energy and sense of self. In order to reconnect with who we really are, it's unavoidable to go through dark periods, moments of depression, anxiety and even fear. During these stages it's impossible to feel that one is good enough, and the runner doesn't want anyone to witness it. The runner considers themselves independent, adventurous and courageous. To kneel before fear is neither how they see themselves, nor how they want others to see or remember them.  There's nothing more daunting in a relationship than to know that our partner sees that we no longer belief, nor feel that we're not good enough. Confusing vulnerability with weakness increase such belief.

The twin flame relationship intensifies every feeling. At this point, the runner has two options: to establish a dialogue with their lover in order to find support and rely on the truth that love heals everything, or to convince themselves of the lie that they can only regain a sense of self by themselves. Running away from the relationship doesn't only breaks your heart, it breaks theirs too, but they'd never admit to it or allow you to see it.

The difficulty in establishing the basis for a new dialogue lies in two main facts: first; that one has to present every fear and demon they've experienced, as well as the repercussions that had in their life and relationships. And two; the emotional turmoil may cause them to return to old excuses, validating them as impossible obstacles to overcome. 

The purpose of this dialogue is to start a life changing narrative that allows any individual to live to their full potential by exploring their authenticity. No one can reach that point without truth. 

The runner doesn't begin a relationship so they can end it, although they are well guarded and in a permanent state of alert. The runner wants to stay, attracted by the magic and dynamics of the relationship. While they find themselves wandering once again through the dark chambers of the soul facing every demon and fear, they're also intimately attracted by the intensity of love in this particular relationship. 

The runner stays once they realise that in the continuous search for love they have to pause and see that the safety and security they're seeking can be found now and here and with this lover; that escaping is to escape from the self, from love and everything they're looking for. 

While taking the decision to end a relationship and run away gives them a false sense of power, not allowing the other lover to find closure, they make themselves weaker with every ending. Not understanding the paradox one doesn't realise that what we do to others we do to ourselves, and that this false sense of power is only an illusion. The runner is actually giving up on you, on love and on themselves at the first sight of fear, and their inability to face it, not knowing that fear is simply a lie and not that scary after all. 

They will be afraid of a codependent relationship. In most cases they provoke and enhance this codependency with their constant rhetoric of independence and their ease to abandon any relationship. There's a great deal of arrogance in this statement, an inflated self-mythology and a confidence that vanishes in the air as no one is witnessing it. Such statements only serve to create a codependency in their lover, as it is with fear that they get the attention and love they crave. 

The runner has to realise and understand that at some point they have to stop running and face their fears. To admit that what they fear most is being abandoned and being hurt, and see the it's love is not what hurts, but their resistance to love another and to allow themselves to be loved. It's the only way to reach the emotional maturity that in time allows love to flow. Love requires a lot of courage.

Through life experience, the runner already knows that the same issues are presented in every relationship they establish, and that at one point it's a good idea to pause and reflect on why these issues keep appearing. When asking such question, it doesn't take too long before the runner realises that they drag the same issues from relationship to relationship and that every in new relationship it gets worse, as they have multiple ways in which to introduce them, as well as cleverly blame their vulnerability on their partners. It's also important to realise that blame cannot be part of the equation, and that taking responsibility for their feelings and emotions is the only way to love; that it's OK to admit that on is afraid. 

It's only when the runner finds the courage to appear most most vulnerable in front of their lover that they can see what they're looking for, love, friendship, companionship, and surprise, surprise! someone who truly listens, to then realise that if no one listened or understood before, it was only because it was safer to run than to speak up.  

Finding the courage to face fear of love will certainly give the impression at first that one is being destroyed, by either love or their partners. It's only with patience that we see the old paradigm die, so as to open space for the new person we become. Every personal rebirth comes after a small death. Better to face it when someone is a loving relationship with someone who listens and understands than to go through it alone. But, of course, this is always a personal choice. 

It's not about feeling right, but the desire to make it feel right. No one can feel right while they're still running. It's exhausting!

Related articles:


Running Away From Relationships: What Happened Next.







The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly 
 





















The Freedom In Being Authentic.



Being authentic is perhaps the most difficult part of being a human being, or so it appears be. In a world that dictates, what everyone should do, be and think or what is right or wrong because, because, because; to remain true to who and what we are can be a daunting experience, but also one filled with wonderful rewards. There are no disadvantages to being authentic, when considering the infinite space for personal expansion that provides. It is, of course, possible to find all the negatives to being authentic, and if you don't find them, do not fret; others will soon point it out to you because, because, because ... 

Some choose to die on their feet, most; to live on their knees ... or not to live at all, but to merely survive in their path to regret ... 

Uniformity kills uniqueness.

My first encounter with uniformity came when I was 3 or 4 years old. Everyone had to wear a fancy custom. It had been agreed that the boys would wear a footballer's uniform, while the girls had the freedom to pick whatever they wanted to wear that day. The dictate of uniformity begins early in everyone's life, and so it's gender division. It's only that we're too young to realise it. My mother made my uniform, which I happily wore to kindergarten. The rest of boys wore the local team's uniform. As mine was different, I was told that I couldn't play with them. There was a spare ball for me to play with. Alone I could do anything I wanted. Lesson One, and what a precious lesson that was. 

Learning to play alone I became my own greatest entertainer. There's neither room for boredom within, nor I allow anyone to bring it to me. 

Stories such as this, I've lived many in my life. From this, anyone can see that not complying with uniformity is reason for exclusion, but when I think about that day, I see that I was excluded from a competition in a game I didn't particularly wanted to play with mindless children who've already lost their uniqueness to uniformity, while mine remained intact. 

At the time, I was too young to feel the energy of rejection. I loved my hand made costume, -which is actually one of the best memories I had with my mother- and it was clear that there was no reason for their reaction. It was an age at which I could already write, and when I started school my grades went sky high. Hand made clothes continued being part of my childhood. I looked different. I was 'different', and so I learned to live with it. High grades were another mindless reason for rejection in the thoughtlessness of many. 

My top that day was made with love. There was nothing loving about those boys, nor their behaviour. Guess which one I proudly chose?

Most of the reasons people use against someone's uniqueness, comes from the threat that someone's confidence represents to their feeble beliefs, as well as their own lack of confidence to live authentically and in harmony with what calls their souls. The sad truth is that someone doesn't have to do anything extraordinary to be hated by others, they just have to be themselves. 

Eventually I got them back.

Being authentic builds up self-belief and confidence, as the energy someone grows with is aligned with and closer to who we really are, than to the unwritten manual of uniformity; a manual that otherwise no one knows how to read, nor interpret. Everyone who tries to read it gets lost in it. 

Authenticity pokes people's sensitivities in others and creates fear. People react accordingly.  How dare someone to wear or say or do what I don't! 

Bullying is uniformed. 

Authenticity is nothing but to preserve and expand personally by following one's uniqueness the best they can, without betraying one's personal standards. It doesn't mean that one cannot compromise in order to get employment or other means to live or being social. Nowhere in the definition of being authentic there's an excuse or a reason for being an asshole to others in order to preserve their own personal space. There's an abysmal difference. 

The route of authenticity is clear. One focuses on their creative energy to better themselves,  and when possible the lives of others. Being true to oneself builds from within, while uniformity begins to build from the outside, with no care at all for the inner call in the human being. Forget feelings, emotions, dreams, desires. Just put this top on and come and play with us whether you like it or not. If one shirt is what makes the difference to being admitted to any kind of social group, perhaps you should consider the real value of what you're buying and why.  

Being authentic is a magnet for people who accept you as you really are, not for what they expect you to be. Authenticity and uniqueness are highly appreciate by many. It's also a powerful filter that most people wouldn't pass through. What matters from the beginning is the quality of the human connections, not the quantity. The urge for popularity that plagues the world in order to cover social isolation or the sense of inadequacy that takes over someone's soul the moment they buy their ticket to uniformity makes connections shallow and without substance, as well as being one of the reasons why loneliness and depression are taking over the heart of the collective. Imagine how many cocktails one needs to get through that social experience. 

Life might not be easy while being authentic, as the stand is this: "it is what it is; you decide." Taking a closer look at this approach, one can see the numerous benefits. Many people behave in ways that are socially acceptable in order to be liked or accepted by people they don't like, which is no guarantee to make others happy. People will continue being unhappy no matter what others do, if unhappy is how the feel. If they don't like you, they probably don't like themselves. When we're at peace with who we are, we don't have time to like or dislike, as we spend most of our time being. 

While someone's efforts, time and energy are focused on improving themselves in whichever field they choose, they look within, whereas, seeking external mirrors to achieve the same effect, one loses authenticity, becoming a feeble mirror of what's expected. The heart shrinks when someone's desires are misplaced for the comfort of others. In the end, this formula makes no one happy. Seeking constant validation is exhausting, as there's always someone ready to point out that you're not wearing the uniform right, or that it doesn't suit you or that you can't afford it, therefore you're a fake. Of course, these people are already down, and that's where they want to bring you in. 

It's possible that the opposition to being authentic begins at home and at a young age. This can be intimidating and one can live in constant fear of their parents. It continues at school, it comes from peers and social circles. Everyone knows what's best for us, but no one ever asks what we really want. For this reason, being authentic can be a solitary path, in which the only confirmation of who we are might only come from the self. It's necessary to seek comfort and reassurance within. 

         When you buy the uniform, someone dictates the rest of 
                                                                your life for you. Think about that!


There are two important facts about me since the moment of birth. One, I am a writer. Everyone in my family knew this. Only I know the times I was discouraged. I was not so open to express the second one or to share it with others. This was the connection with the Universe and its energies. I could read people since I was born, and I believe that at that age anyone can. There were two reasons why I kept it mostly to myself, until I didn't share it with anyone. One, people didn't understand it, and two; it scared people to know that I could see or hear what they were thinking. Of course, when we keep our gifts hidden, these tend to disappear or just to remain dormant, for which reason there are so many people seeking to return within and finally remember who they are. This is something I never forgot. 

At the age of six, it's safe not to tell an adult that you know they're lying to you, and that you know this because you can feel the energy and also see the words they mutter in a different colour from that of the truth. 

It is the same connection with writing, as it comes from a stream of consciousness. This is something that I didn't need to share with anyone, as it doesn't make any difference to neither the writing, nor the reader, and if I do today is to illustrate how important it is to remain loyal to a gift until we remember. 

How we tell the story or how much we buy into the lie of uniformity determines who and what we are and who we're going to be. In my case, both writing and readings are gifts, but I have not forgotten that I am the vessel, that there's a beautiful and touching connection to a higher force that allows me to channel such information, and while I can claim that it comes from me, I can only feel blessed and grateful for what I've been given. 

In time I learned to use these gifts in ways that helped me and others, until I managed to sustain myself with who and what I am. A soul reading is perhaps the best example, as there's always a mirror, which is described accurately. What I see and hear touches parts that people have not seen, nor felt in themselves for a long time, thus creating an amazing healing energy that brings immediate relief to them. It's a honour to be able to show people that they're not invisible, that they don't have to hide any longer. To have the ability to show others a part of their consciousness is touching. 

This energetic connection also makes my therapeutic practice incredibly successful, as I can see and feel who people really are, as well as what they're struggling with. 

Had I bought the uniform and surrender my spirit to its ways, none of this would have been possible. When I see and feel the joy and healing in others for gifting them with what is essentially who and what I am, I can only imagine what a waste it would have been to wear the tie and suit. Surely people can find other ways to heal. At best, I'm just a piece of the puzzle, but what if all the other pieces are wearing the same uniform?

The opposition to what I do or I am continues from family, friends and other social groups, but having reached the point in which what I do is what I am, and who I am, it has little to no effect on me whatsoever. Not that I ever cared much for what others think of me! To reach this point, I have to be stubborn on keeping the belief in my gifts, having gone through hardship and rejection time and again, but when I look back, I would have not liked to cross any of those doors that never opened. Moreover, the doors that didn't open only made it easier to get to where I am. In fact, I'm grateful that they never opened, so I can be here and now. 

At one point many years ago, I left everything; financial security and the freedom that brings, accommodation, relationships, friendships, and being homeless and broke brought further rejection, but every time I grew stronger, because who I am is built on self-belief, which is a incredibly expansive energy that comes along with the people I need, the places I have to visit and the rewards that are meant for me. However little or much I have, it's a life of abundance, colourful and wild. Being wild is a necessary step every day, as it is to jump from one leap of faith to another. Many were left behind. Others didn't make it, as it was not meant to be. From sadness to joy, all emotions are experienced in the way to freedom. 

Being authentic is love, self-respect and love. Do not let anyone take that away from you. 

Do not be distracted by my experience. The courage, love and self-respect necessary to be your most authentic self is in everyone, regardless of what you've heard or being told. 

From the moment someone decides to be authentic and true to themselves, one can only be a better person, caring less about what others do and more about what we do. There are forces around that move to bring whatever is necessary in order to succeed, and if joy and abundance doesn't come earlier, it's only because because because we don't know better, that we still don't trust the magic of the Universe. What I know from experience is that we dictate our future with the decisions we make now. What makes a difference is the path we choose to walk, and to know that we're on the right track one only needs to follow the immediate feeling. If it feels good, you're one step closer to being who you really are. 

And my uniform? Well, I'm sure someone else bought it. If you're reading this, it's unlikely that you bought it. 

Be authentic, play with it and have fun with it. If it's not fun, you might have to walk in a different direction. 



The book 'Reuniting with the Twin Flame' is now available on Amazon. Dealing with dynamics and a detailed exploration of the twin flame relationship, the content is exclusive to the book and cannot be found on this blog. 

For soul readings, visit this link. or contact me directly