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Remembering Self-Love: Week 4. Staying In.



I hope you all had a good time being a cat for a week and purred enough to feel the vibration of self-love. It is time to come out. The intention of being a cat was to see the world from another perspective; so as not to allow the drama of the world to affect your life. The reason why we have to come out is not to indulge the ego. The risks that we feel invincible, separated from others and above everyone else while feeling as a cat are many. We are all different, but equal and in the process of remembering self-love we also have to integrate others.

This week is going to be very simple, but what we do with it might shake our core and allow us to gain some insight into our behaviours and habits.

Giving up: We have to re-examine a few unhealthy habits and let go of them when possible. This is a list of habits that do not help us in any way and clear signs that we might not love ourselves enough: smoking, drinking, drugs -recreational or prescription-, fast food or over-eating, carbonated drinks, over-exercise, fasting diets, mindless sex. There is a quite large array of things and habits we take for granted and which in time become part of our identity.

A short note on prescription drugs: Most prescription drugs only serve to keep us unfeeling and numb body and emotions. This is a very personal choice which only you must make. If you have a medical condition that requires medication you must follow your instinct. Do your research before taking any steps. I can only give my personal opinion and it is in no way a suggestion on what you have to decide to do next. Remember, you are the leader in your life.

A hint to what you might have to look into is to return to the child within. As a child and at a very young age, we didn't do any of those things we do to ourselves today. The fact that everyone does it does not mean we have to do it too. It is true that giving up habits like alcohol can be difficult, as it has been used as a social lubricant for centuries and finding alternatives are not easy. Before giving up on anything make sure you find of other things to do with the time you would spend engaging in these activities. These habits are insulting to the soul and we all know it. On the way to self-love, we have to listen to the soul.

As it is not an easy task, plan before you act. Give yourself a time frame -it could be a month, it could be a year- and don't give up on everything at the same time. Write it down, sign a contract with yourself, and include the rewards that come with it. Focusing on the rewards and results would give you energy and direction. And it is OK to indulge sometimes. As my teacher Claudio would say; sometimes we have to give some sugar to the ego. We are still human.

Watch your talk: This might not appear to be related to self-love, as it is what we project to the world, but it is very important. Listen to what you say. Are you talking about episodes of your life, things you did, people you met, places you visited and are you talking about them, their flaws, the irrationality of laws, habits or situations? Perhaps you are, perhaps you are not.

By judging others, and this is a very common way of doing it, we are creating an energetic field which is preventing the world not only to bring us what we might consider 'wrong' things, but all the good experiences also. A happy life is a life of integration with everything and everyone. Of course, we do not have to engage with negatives behaviours or the harmful acts of others.

When we talk and present our critique to others, or even in our own thoughts, we are avoiding our feelings and emotions. A good example of this would be a business meeting or an after work dinner in which people try and present themselves as strong, experienced and knowledgeable. This might be appropriate in the work environment, but it is a burden to our lives outside the professional environment. We don't go to work to cry, even though some of us cry inside all day long while working.

And very important. Stop talking and thinking about work once you're out. Our jobs is not who we are.

Focus on your experience, your feelings and emotions and do this for a week. You might want to keep a diary. See what emotions you are going through when you have a craving for pizza or a cigarette. What are you thinking at the time? And again, be flexible and creative with it. It is your life and you must lead it in a way that it is going to make you feel comfortable with the choices you make. If stopping smoking is not for you now, it might be in the future. Listen to your body and listen to yourself. Eventually the answer will appear.

In case you missed the first three weeks on self-love . Here are the links:

WEEK ONE
WEEK TWO
WEEK THREE

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. 

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