Change can be daunting depending on who you are and what you wished for, especially when letting go is required. What we think, what we desire and what we believe play a much more important part in the development of our lives than to what we allow ourselves to think. Change can be sudden, manifesting a present full of upheavals in which life makes no sense. Change requires an incredible amount of courage in order to face what life may bring during such periods.
Courage lies deep and strong in everyone's hearts. There are no exceptions. Everyone is well equipped with an unbelievable capacity for it. If most of us don't know of this ability, it is only due to the fact that might not make use of it often, and yet, every day we see extraordinary displays of courage that mostly goes unnoticed.
Periods of change might not come along as planned. I'd go as far as to say that they hardly ever do. In order to make certain changes possible, so as to improve what we already have, it is necessary to let go of the old. The 'old' might have been playing an important part, allowing us to function and achieve what we wanted, but as we grow more ambitious, having a clear vision of what we want, it must go. One can either decide to let it go of its own accord or to wait until life redirects us to where we want to be.
It is this second part, the one in which we lose control of present events when fear could enter our most immediate reality. From this moment on, we can either choose courage or to dwell on circumstances. Perhaps at this point it is necessary to emphasise the importance of experience in life. No one can grow and develop to their full potential without going through the experience however negative it might appear to be. Experience and how we respond to it determines what we become.
Often life introduces these changes as a roller coaster in which someone cannot see what direction to take. There's a sense of loss, of being lost and perhaps the overwhelming feeling that we're alone. No need to panic. We all have blind spots. In the end, the Universe knows what's best for us. Be careful what you wish for.
A few months ago I decided to join a community. I had lived there years ago, so I knew where I was going. Before joining in I wrote to them with my goals and intentions and what I could offer. Their immediate response was excitement. I was going to bring in guests to the house and expand on my shamanic and healing work. In addition, the intention was to create workshops to attract more guests and business. In our initial conversation it was clear on both parts that what was important was not the business side, but the work. In this case, money is important and necessary, but it plays a secondary role. What matters is the healing and well-being of others.
We are, but mere vehicles to induce different stages in others. Healing comes from within, and us, healers, shamans and any other title for which we might be known, can only contribute and have a positive effect on people because we see the best in them. The real healing comes from each individual person, and only when they see their ability to heal.
In time it was clear that I would not be able to do my work there. The constant requirements of the house demanded too much time, effort and energy from each volunteer, much more than what was requested initially on paper. Three months after I had not done any work, losing all clients or the possibility to move on to my own space. Fear could have made the best of me at that moment. Whether I remained in the community or not, the options of a healthy future were bleak. My response was to leave without a place to go or the money that allowed me to find a place from where to begin again.
The morning I left I had no place to go to.
I left for London, found a place to crush with a friend and continued finding my way. Within a week I had found two different places where to stay. Not only this, I found temporary work that kept me going. A week later my girlfriend came to visit. We spent two wonderful weeks living the moment, without a worry for the future. To us it was, and it is still clear that the future belonged to us. Together.
So far it has been an intense experience, not knowing where I'd stay next or where money would come from. However scary it might have been, it has also been a wonderful experience, meeting beautiful souls that have provided kindness and love to keep me going. I found more temporary work, and as I write I have my own accommodation. In any instance, it is not my intention to settle for comfort, but to continue working and finding what I want, which is what I wrote in my last blog entry: Keep Walking.
Leaving the community was a leap of faith, which so far has come with unexpected rewards, love being the most rewarding and enlightening. Had I settled in the community due to fear of not knowing where to go or what to do next, I have no doubts that I would have lost everything, including myself.
Of course, circumstances threw me out of my comfort zone in ways that I have to admit I had already imagined. From here there's nothing to lose and everything to gain. Being a writer, I've always understood life as experience. Sometimes it has been wonderful, sometimes it has not, but overall life has gifted me with everything I needed.
Within a few days I'll be travelling to France to visit my girlfriend, continue working and writing, but with not clear definition of what comes next. The intention remains. Love, faith and trust are powerful drivers. Whether I'd stay in France and begin a new life there or I'll return to England is yet unknown. The Universe will provide for everything I need and more, and eventually the charity I intend to create will materialise.
During this time I've seen and experienced the kindness, love and generosity of people, one of the basis to do what I do and which impulsed me to take this decision: the good nature of people. It is together that we will make it through and undoubtedly change the world. We do this together or not at all.
No matter what the circumstances may be, do not settle for the convenience of mediocrity. Take a leap of faith, jump into the unknown and discover the wonders that life has prepared for you. The circumstances of the brief period of this journey only apply to me. Your circumstances might not be as risky. Lead a life that delivers what you want. The Universe will certainly provide for your needs. It might be uncomfortable at times, but try to settle for mediocrity and routine and see regret inevitably follow at some stage in life.
I've been told that being so daring is scary and could lose everything. I'd dare to say that courage and every leap of faith I've taken has so far presented me with a wonderful life full of love and incredible rewards.
You have what it takes to make your dream a reality. If it has not manifested yet, it is only because you might have not allowed yourself to tap into your full potential. It is there, within, everything you need and want lie, perhaps dormant in you. Take your time, take a deep breath and go and get it. Don't wait until you believe you're ready. You're always ready.
Keep your heart open and fall in love with the possibility. It is endless, full of fortune and all the love you need and want. It is a wonderful adventure.
A leap of faith is a rite of passage in life that can be taken consciously, or one that it presents itself unexpectedly by circumstances. In both cases it appears after a period of transition in which everything seems impossible, a time of fictitious failure. Sometimes we have to fail and keep failing in order to get to where we want to be and most importantly to what we want to achieve in life. Failure shows what we're not supposed to do and where we're not supposed to be. Nothing else.
In whichever way it comes, a leapt of faith comes along with an element of fear; another illusion that has been created by past failures or the previous impossibility to do that one thing we were led to believe we wanted to do. As we lose creativity and spontaneity growing up, it is easy to conform to the established ways of the world. When the time comes, you will recognise it. Do not fear it. It is an adventure in which everything is new, a period to find your true worth by applying your knowledge, experience and wisdom. You are ready. You are always ready.
In a society that promotes safety as a basic parameter to establish success, taking a leap of faith might appear to be a foolish step to the majority. No one ever managed great feats without taking a risk. Whether you've been driven to it by circumstances or by the feeling that waiting for what you want no longer serves the purpose, go for it, with love and an open heart. Life is kinder with a smile. When facing it, you will also feel a sense of relief to leave everything that is known behind. This is the scary part.
The purpose of this blogpost is to initiate an action that causes a positive effect in the lives of millions of people across the world. It begins as a personal initiative, but I believe that many will join in in order to make it possible. It is also an encouragement to follow your heart and take that leap of faith that might have been waiting for too long.
One person alone cannot change the entire world, but it can certainly make it a much better place.
I've written previously about the ripple effect of a positive, creative action, and how many lives everyone touched without their knowledge. In this case, as it is going to be a documented process, the effects will be visible to everyone. This article might only make sense by the end.
With this in mind and my heart, I am starting a new journey today. The idea of 'Keep Walking' has been with me for years, but it never seems to take off for one reason or another. The purpose of it is to find a natural remedy -a lifestyle- that helps to deal with the symptoms of PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). This is a medical condition -not considered an illness- that has disastrous consequences in the lives of millions of women. The effects can be as harmful as heart disease. More information on PCOS can be found at the end of this blogpost.
It's not only about this particular condition. There are many other conditions that affect many other millions, such as IBS, chronic fatigue or Crohn's disease amongst others, which I believe still have to be challenged with a natural approach.
There are clear indications that the symptoms can be reversed, but without trials that prove the methods efficient, I do not feel that it is appropriate to share it with the public yet. Unfortunately modern medicine has not come up yet with a solution to any of this ailments, only providing a very aggressive treatment that causes an additional number of side effects, for which no treatment is offered either. We must take our health into our own hands, take responsibility and change the human relationship with medicine and disease.
We have entered a new phase in history in which humanity is facing a number of serious ailments that affects millions, without a cause or remedy. These are conditions that have appeared in modern times and they're spreading wide and fast.
This initiative also intends to show that one small action can in fact change the world. We change the world one day at a time. Together. We do it together.
In order to raise awareness and raise the funds that allow these trials I am creating a challenge, hiking along the USA Pacific Crest Trail (2.659 miles) or (4.279 km) long. During this period, which begins today I will be travelling around England seeking support, travelling in whichever way I can, either by transport or simply walking.
A leap of faith must embrace flexibility, improvisation and spontaneity, therefore, what's important in this case is the walk, not where the walk begins or ends. The Pacific Crest Trail is a wonderful challenge, but the walk could take me from England, where I reside at the moment, to Mongolia to give an example. A walk is a walk, and if this is more viable, one must consider all alternatives to make if feasible.
The challenge begins today. It is both, scary and exciting. Scary because it is a jump into the unknown without a safety net relying on the goodness of people, couch surfing, house sitting, a tent in the countryside or staying with friends.
I believe that people are intrinsically good, as this is the first impression that I always get from everyone. The only way to prove and sustain this belief is to put my trust on others, as I have been doing for years with different outcomes. I know that during this journey I will meet a large number of wonderful people, make new friends and visit places that will undoubtedly leave a mark in me and bring an invaluable contribution to this cause. I am also hoping to contribute in different and positive ways in the lives of many others.
"Always leave people better than you found them."
As a small initiative, it can be accomplished with a small sum of money. The idea also entails the possibility of a self-sustainable charity, creating a business that offers innovative services to already established companies and professionals, something I have also been working on for years and that it's almost ready to be launched.
At the same time, this is an opportunity to create employment, as well as improving the overall well-being of many professionals around the world. The intention is not to simply receive, but also to give back to others.
Everyone knows someone who suffers from PCOS in silence. One of the consequences of suffering this condition is the devastating effect that causes on self-esteem. Some of the symptoms are: multiple cysts in ovaries, hirsutism, obesity, acne, infertility, boldness, anxiety and depression. It can go as far as developing a heart condition, endometriosis or diabetes.
There's something rather tragic in the process of being diagnosed with PCOS, although it does not differ from any other ailments-, and this is that it affects girls in their teenage years. The first step is to visit a doctor who has no answers. Medical science has not reached that far yet. Two important questions arise here: why do we keep asking questions to those who don't have the answers, and why do we believe their hopeless answers? Unfortunately this is the way we've been educated, to trust the 'truth' of authorities and recognised professionals.
By no means this blogpost is intended to offend or to put down the medical profession. Without the invaluable help of modern medicine, surgeons, doctors and other medical professionals, I would not be here.
However, I believe that when someone cannot provide an answer, we must continue seeking it by any means possible.
Doctors and modern medicine are necessary and do carry out a wonderful task in society, but like any other professionals, they're limited in resources and knowledge. Being diagnosed with PCOS equals to being delivered a life sentence, with no possibility to change it. When someone is told that there is no remedy for a condition or disease at such early age, the nocebo effect hits home. When this happens, it creates a belief that might be irreversible lasting a lifetime.
The nocebo effect removes all hope and the possibility of a healthy life in this case. The person affected enters a reality of impossibility, creating a belief that might continue for life. It is easy to be resigned to a life of ill health when a medical practitioner announces that there's no solution. There are thousands of documented cases of people healing from conditions far much worse than PCOS, such as cancer. If someone can heal their own cancer, we can also heal any other condition.
Everything is possible when there's belief and enough strength supporting such it. Let's make this venture possible and bring hope to millions of people.
Donations are of course welcome, but there's also the possibility to get a soul reading from me, as well as life coaching/personal development sessions on Skype to get a return.
One thing I'm certain in life. Everything is possible, and you and I can make this possible too.
I'm open to hear ideas, comments and perhaps new ways in which to make this a reality. I know that this venture could go horribly wrong, but this is not a belief I embrace. Again, I believe in the goodness of people, and I have hundreds of stories that prove this belief.
The next few months are going to be an adventure shared with many others, and from this blog, I'd do my best to continue inspiring and be inspired by you all. It has been over two years writing and sharing this blog, and there's one thing that I have seen and perceived from my interaction with the world, that has been love. For this, I am grateful.
Usually I wouldn't ask to share a blogpost, but this is an important quest and it would be much appreciated it this one article was shared by as many people as possible.
Years ago I heard Claudio Naranjo say that people think that being in love is madness, to what he added: "madness is not being in love!". I couldn't agree more. In love is our birth right, the state in which we are born. It is a natural state in which we can be in love, fall in love and letting go at the same time.
To a person who is conscious of what being in love is, letting go is also an act of love.
One must distinguish first between love and lust, between infatuation and the true feeling of love. These are different dimensions. Lust and infatuation are created by the mind. Love is driven by the heart. It is easy to distinguish between love and anything else. Ego might be telling a different story if love is not corresponded and persist in desperation to no avail.
It is easy for the mind to believe that one is in love, when they're not if the heart is not open. Of course, the heart can open to love anytime. Sometimes we seek a partner because the other person's physique matches the expectations of the ego. It is also likely that as we approach them, one realises that there's actually a person in that body responding with free will. A person with a heart, feeling, emotions, expectations and desires. In all human interaction there's a feeling, and where there's feeling, what the mind created might be followed by the heart. Some could follow their mind, to render to love once they meet the person.
How we seek love is not important; In lust, in love, with the heart or the mind. What matters is that in our way back to love we explore our limitations and expand with each experience. Falling in love with the mind can cause a heart to break, and as it breaks, it opens when holding on to love.
What matters is that we love.
When falling in love, reasons are irrelevant. Love is not always a mutual feeling, in which case we may feel rejected. Asking why someone doesn't feel the same for us, as we feel for them is pointless. Feelings do not make any sense in the majority of cases, even though there could be a correlation with the feeling of previous experiences, or a pattern of love or rejection that has been developed by that person, and of which they're unaware.
Asking what's wrong with us doesn't work either. In most circumstances matters of the heart cannot be answered with rationale. There's nothing wrong with us. This is a perception that must be shifted, an old belief of incompleteness. Trying to mix reason with love leads to confusion, removing the feeling, heading inevitably towards doubt, worry and fear. Love is a feeling that does not need to be explained. I Am In Love is a powerful statement that answers all questions.
The feeling of falling in love is too beautiful to waste on longing or thought. Sometimes it is not meant to be. What is not meant to be must be accepted. However uncomfortable it might be, this situation also offers the perfect opportunity to transcend rejection. The first step is acceptance of what is.
In order to transcend the feeling of rejection, one holds on to the feeling of love. Thriving on the feeling of being in love allows to explore deeper emotions. This is an act of self-love. When allowing defeat at the feeling of rejection, we also deny ourselves the possibility to explore feeling further and deeper. It does take courage to face the pain, but the reward is incredibly superior and a much healthier option to the feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness that usually accompany rejection.
Hold on to love, feel the pain and set your heart on fire.
Stopping ego at this point from rejecting the other person is also essential. It is easier to resort to anger than to love, even when what we all want is love. Rejecting the other person because they rejected us suppresses love and the expression of the soul. Keep loving. Rejecting others, is a rejection of the self. All inner and outer expression that suppresses love is an act of aggression against the self. We're here to love, for love is all there is.
This is a way to reach love within, not outside. Humanity has attached the feeling of love to another person for too long. It is time that we go back to school and learn that love is always within. Feel the pain of rejection, while still in love and remain in love. Relying on someone else for love makes us vulnerable for the wrong reasons, giving away our power and somehow allowing others to control us.
By holding on to being in love, the feeling permits to detach from the person and remain in love. The first emotion that appears, being it rejection, fear or sadness is a veil that serves as a distraction in our quest of love. The reason why one surrenders immediately to this emotion is because it is familiar, and probably one to which we have been attached for most of our lives.
Holding on to love helps to increase self-esteem, confidence, personal power and it's the best tool one can use in personal development.
No one can follow their heart if they stop at the first negative emotion. The heart thrives in courage. And in love we dance with it.
Although in practice it might seem more difficult to follow the abstract of love, the emotion; it is much easier than to follow a person who doesn't want to be followed or loved. It's a matter of getting used to our own feelings, pride being one of them. Everyone loves being in love. To sacrifice that for a person who can't see it, nor feel it only helps to perpetuate the longing for love, turning it into an unattainable goal.
The more we feed rejection, the more we separate from love, eventually making ourselves unavailable to it.
The process can be as fast as we intend to. One must set the intention to remain with the feeling and add intensity. We can either focus thoughts on the other person or to remain with the feeling. People come and go. Love is always here.
The feeling of being in love is yours. That other person you may or may not have fallen in love with, is not. In the quest of love one must use and follow what we have, and at this point what we have is love.
As love is rejected by another, it is possible that they ask that we stop feeling or that we interpret that we have to stop feeling. We don't. We continue being in love.
The journey doesn't end here. As we keep the feeling of love and being in love, good things, good people and perhaps another person will come along. The heart keeps opening, expanding. Love attracts love. Being in love is a magnet to people who are receptive to love, increasing the possibility to fall in love with someone else, only that this time they might be open to it.
It might not be easy, but it is worth it.
Move beyond the first negative emotion. It's a challenge, nothing else. There's so much more to explore. A heart that is longing for you to begin with.
Be love. Fall In Love.
And say it loud and clear.
I Am In Love.
Every new path in life entails a certain degree of invisibility ahead. Most people look at existing horizons; others create them, as they already live in that sacred space that allows to expression of free will. One might be guided and inspired by the journey of others or what's already established, but initiative and personal input are essential in order to make the most of it, to discover the true self along the way. Intuition is a rich source in which to find leadership skills that as one goes along creates a new vision in this beautiful adventure called life.
People might not be aware of their incredible potential to create new paths following the leader within, nor the trail of inspiration that they leave behind. Every action, every word we say, every minute in one's life is unknowingly connected to so many other souls that at one point or another will be touched by the energy we leave behind. It is easy to underestimate the impact that anyone has on the world, as well as on others, as actions might not followed by immediate responses that we can perceived by the doer.
The path you create could have an amazing, inspirational effect on others. Human beings constantly create magic. Not being able to interpret the energy of your actions, might not allow you to see such magic, or how many hearts have been touched by you. Yes, you! The soul reading this. You have already touched the heart of many souls, it's only that you don't know it.
My adventure began for me three weeks ago, ending this last Friday. During the early, brief morning meeting in our community, the coordinator asked for a volunteer to work by the lake and clear the path around it. There was no description of the job, and I only realised the hard work required once it started. It is not only leadership that takes initiative. It is required to follow too. In cases such as this, one either puts heart and soul, or they're on for an exhausting ride.
Both, heart and soul are necessary to live every new moment of the now that's presented.
By the beginning of the week it was impossible to know where the path was leading too. The ground was covered by nettles and bramble. With the help of a streamer, Kat, moved through the density of weeds. My job was to rake what she left behind with a pitch-fork, pile it up and eventually throw it over the fence on to another field. The job seemed endless. I loved every minute of it. Little by little a path appeared, creating new spots from which to observe and appreciate the magic of the lake.
The description of the job, -which is not the point of this blog post- might be prosaic; the poetry involved in the final vision is not. This type of work, however exhausting it feels, brings immediate rewards, but of course one has to be in it, live it, feel it.
By the end of the week the end of the path remained to be discovered. However, the segment that was created allowed to explore the tranquility of the lake and it's multiple possibilities. What is fascinating in this part of the journey is to see someone else's leadership skills, how following her drive and intuition she managed to break through wilderness and bringing personal expression open a space for others to create their visions and understanding of nature.
As we advance in the creative process, every moment is a new opportunity to make new wishes that mixed with intention help to manifest our desires while the path is create. What is invisible and not yet existing materialises by magic. It's part of the shamanic journey. With intention we induce a dream state, planting the seeds of the magic to appear. How we concoct the spell determines what's yet to come in everyone's journey.
One of the problems we face as humans is that, when exploring our desires we tend to desire what we already know. The unknown path ahead is full of invisible feats that do not manifest because we stopped using our imagination in creative ways.
When someone doesn't know where to begin, the best place to visit, so as to remember to where we're going is to the memories and dreams of childhood. The child knows it all, for the child is connected to source. The child is light, magic and soul. If your dream as a child was to travel and discover new places and meet different people, you might be a few years behind, but it's never too late.
I believe that there are many souls wandering around the world following their hearts and dreams, finding constant inspiration for themselves and others. It is essential to live and use our own experience in order to return to the soul. The soul is always there, ready to lead the journey. Every day, every moment and every situation are crossed roads that determine the destiny of our days. Not being able to see might have to do with lack of involvement, lack of leadership skills or both. Nothing to worry about. Anyone can begin now, in this moment.
We're so used to follow the direction of a mindless society that we forgot to lead our own journey. Never forget that you're a leader. Many could follow your path, hence, our actions require integrity, responsibility and fun. Whatever you do, wherever you go, never forget to have fun. It's not necessary to get there, or not knowing that what we're looking for is always here, but without movement and that strong sense of direction of the true seeker, life wouldn't be fun. Life is only an uncomfortable mystery when we're afraid of the surprises.
There weeks later the path is open and clear; a place of beauty and magic. As the path is open, a new journey begins for me and to the over hundred people who walked it this morning. This time there's no need to follow anyone, and as I slowly walk around, it I get sucked into a new dimension, a new vortex to consciousness, with a feeling that it is a place I see for the first time, but that I remember as I left it and have seen before. A place I can call home. And with every glance, I discover like a child, that in the same vision there are thousand worlds still to explore. Follow the magic of the child, fall in love, and you're already there. There's no need to go anywhere.
And I'm touched, truly touch. In Love, as it is mine and your birth right. And blessed, I'm blessed with the gift of nature, as you are. One day we'll all remember.
Everyone's story is a story of love. The one described here begins before the birth of my daughter and it never ends. Love is what we naturally are; a love we forget. Before we remember who we are; before we remember love and light, we have to endure and understand fear of love when presented with the unknown. If not, the unknown has its magical ways to let itself known.
I never planned to be a father. In fact I was determined to never being one. The period before her birth was marked by fear of the unknown, doubts regarding how to support a daughter and give her a comfortable life considering personal limitations and the state of the world. Stress increased to unbearable levels. How we faced the situation did not offer any positive solutions.
Somehow I knew I was going to be a good father. I just didn't want to be one. The material and practical aspect of the future however, took over the mind. One is never ready to be a father for the first time. I had no one to compare to, no healthy role model in which I could see a reflection of what I was about to experience. It is an overwhelming amount of responsibility when understood with the mind only. To an open heart, no responsibility is high enough, especially when the matter that provokes the discomfort is the arrival of your own child.
None of the channels used to escape the inevitable reality brought peace. Escapism never worked before, although the illusion while it lasted felt wonderful, however unhealthy it might have been. No one is ready to grow up that fast regardless of their age. The first problem appears the moment we believe we're not ready. We're never ready. It's a matter of getting on with life as it comes without resistance to new experiences, but this is a lesson that often takes too long to understand.
Surrendering to the obvious never entered my mind; therefore, the natural resistance of the ego, combined with the inner call for personal freedom led to chaos and despair.
The lack of a nurturing childhood, -or what I believed at the time my childhood was- made me see family as a false entity, which I neither intended to embrace, nor create. But life constantly offers the opportunity to change perceptions. When the mind is open to change, new information is presented in placid ways. Not being ready to accept the facts, both the mind and the heart closed. Life turned sour throughout.
At the time there was no one who could tell me about the wonders of the birth of a child, love, being a parent or the delights of having and seeing a child growing. Even if there had been anyone to inspire trust and belief in me, I wouldn't have listened to them anyway. The answer to my dilemma was already there in my life experience. Most existential problems we face are never related to not knowing, but to not remembering.
Everything changed the moment I saw my daughter being born, one more proof that the human being creates suffering in the mind and does not want to let it go. Seeing my daughter coming to life brought me the feeling of falling in love and joy. The flow of energy emanating from the chest, overtaking body; leaving behind the bothersome tricks of the mind. The realisation that to that day I had never known love in adulthood. Worries and fear vanished in that instant. The loss of freedom became an eager sense of service, duty and love. From there on, there was love. The eternal connection.
It is no wonder that women want to give birth to a child, as if in a sense of knowing they wanted to reunite with the experience of unconditional love. The child bearer, is the bearer of light.
As a child I had a deep, powerful connection to universal knowledge. It is a part of me that in many ways never left. I remember looking at my elders and wondering what they were doing to themselves regurgitating so much fear. Throughout life, and to this day, such connection was possible through writing. The connection is always there, and it is accessible to anyone. Everyone has their own way to connect. It doesn't necessarily has to be through writing, but one must remember how. Most people, if not all, lose it while growing up getting ready to be functional adults.
It is a common belief that parents can teach their children. It is true that in regards to practicalities parents can use their experience to ease the path of their children. A common belief can also turn into a common mistake or wrong belief. In this case it becomes an absolute truth that cannot be questioned or challenged. Not only my daughter taught me love, she showed me the feeling, and with it, an invaluable lesson impossible to forget. Without feeling one cannot learn to remember the things that matter most.
Every experience, every feeling stores a new memory in the body that helps to interpret future situations. As with the connection to universal source, the feeling of love decreases in time, as we grow into fear. Both, the re-connection to the higher self and the feeling of love become a life quest. Both we seek through others instead of looking within. Someone can remind you and point out the path to enlightenment, but there's no outer source that can bring it back. It is an inner journey of self-discovery.
When parents teach their children, they teach with love, but at the same time they're teaching from parameters that have introduced fear in their lives, therefore influencing the nature of the lessons we teach, so as to adapt to the standards of society. It is no secret that the world lives in fear or that as a consequence of it we experience a current low level of collective consciousness. What's more important to human beings is not taught, as we prioritise minimal survival over the matters of heart and soul.
The world is populated by heartless pirates seeking in far shores the most beautiful treasures we we already hold deep in our hearts. In search of love we ravage, pillage and mutiny.
What we teach our children is short of love and freedom. If all we can teach is how to make it in the world following the standard path, what we teach goes against the true nature of the self, and the deepest desires of the soul. There's no adventure in normality.
This is the crucial moment in which fear enters the child. The natural response of the child is to withdraw within, closing gradually to the world their most precious gifts; the beauty of the soul. It is the birth of the inner child. The same energy that protects inner beauty prevents it from being exposed to the world and the self. In this way, we begin to build our personal prisons.
To my daughter I can only show love and gratitude. My way of giving back to her so she could keep a sense of freedom from the moment of birth was to make sure she understood not to allow anyone to tell her what to do with her life. My first words to her; words that I kept and keep repeating throughout were to let her know that for a while there would be many people telling her what to do, what to say, what to believe, so listen, learn and then do whatever you want to do. From her very first day she had the freedom to not listen to anyone, not even me. In freedom and in love we grow confident, strong and beautiful. This, and much more she is.
But it is not only my daughter who's light. Everyone came to this world with their unique light. Some shine more than others in their personal expressions, but everyone is a being of love and light. If only we could remember this, we would treat each other with the love they deserve; and most importantly, we'd treat ourselves as such.
The energy of the Divine Masculine has been suppressed for centuries. While it is a fact that men have dominated society under the shadow of one male God, it is also true that such dominance has been projected from an understanding of aggression, entitlement, a false sense of moral superiority and violence. Patriarchy was founded on the negative and destructive parts of masculinity, to later on be encouraged. The prevalence of patriarchy and one divine figure caused to create a narrative that excluded the positive traits of masculinity, as well as suppressing the qualities of the Divine Feminine.
With the emergence of feminism, especially by the late 60's, all things masculine have been condemned. In real terms, men seem to be guilty by default. In modern times men are encouraged to explore their feelings, emotions and their feminine side, but little is being said about embracing the true essence of masculinity, which is as necessary in order to balance the energies within.
The Divine Masculine is not exclusive of men, women also must embrace their masculine side. The imbalance that currently sweeps the world has caused to adopt the most aggressive qualities, which women are also adopting to cope and survive in such a competitive society. While awareness of the origins or consequences of the imbalance is a stop forward in the process of restoration, one must also know that this energy is instilled in the collective consciousness and the collective psyche. In order to change the dynamic one has to focus on the solution, not the problem.
As children, men were taught to be detached from everything, and everything, thus separating from emotions. Being unable to feel and express feelings, men separated from their spirituality and their higher self, becoming intolerant and inflexible. Such detachment is detrimental, as men are taught to live within an impenetrable, in appearance, shell. While these protective walls serve the purpose during a period of our lives, so as to survive, it also stops one's true essence from manifesting and expanding, resulting in the void of love. The heart closes and the child never develops.
Being in touch with feelings and emotions, must not be confused with weeping or being over sentimental. It is a matter of allowing vulnerability and regain essential parts to connect with the higher self. The positive effects of this reconnection are clear when transitioning from boyhood to manhood, as a man must get in touch with the Divine Child before he becomes a warrior. This will be explained in more detail in a different blog post.
There's an incredible amount of strength in vulnerability. The absence or loss of spirituality in men, as well as the social pressure to conform to a system that no longer serves anyone, is making men, weak and irresponsible, and unable to cope in an ever demanding society.
Embracing the Divine Masculine allows men to get in touch with their spirituality, connect to the higher self and follow its guidance. Getting in touch with the Divine Masculine requires the study, as well as experiencing the mature energies of masculinity or the mature archetypes of the masculine: The King, The Magician, The Warrior and The Lover.
It is also recommended to study the unhealthy or Boyhood Archetypes, which can be found in the book 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover,' by Robert Moore and David Gillette.
Embracing the Divine Masculine is a rite of passage from childhood to manhood. Age does not define a man. Under the shadow of patriarchal society, it's not only women, but also men who suffered the consequences of a controlling and divisive ruling establishment.
As one advances through the different stages of masculinity until balance and embodiment is achieved, men can also expect to gain knowledge and perspective on intimacy. Intimacy being currenly something we seek through others, while it is an aspect that we must explore within and by ourselves.
The Divine Masculine is linked to direction and movement, transformation and growth. Men are essential to support the emergence of the Divine Feminine, the restoration of the Divine Feminine, so as to establish the necessary balance that allows the blossoming of a new world, that provides for the needs and wants of every living being. To support this energetic movement, men do not have to renounce to masculinity, but to reach its maturity and embodiment.
The Divine masculine is also associated with responsibility, strength, intellect, brilliance, power, generosity, fatherhood, encouragement, material abundance, clarity and respect.
The study, experiencing and embodiment of the Divine Masculine allows men to restore the natural and calm confidence everyone is born with. Those who are interested in understanding and working with energies can also study the Native American Spirit, as it embraces all such qualities. It is an energy which is still vibrant and offers a more recent example of the Divine Masculine in an environment not yet subdued to the tyranny of patriarchy.
Once studied and explored, the Divine Masculine must take action from a place of inner peace, a healthy state and mature approach. Although the terms used are familiar, such as inner peace or mature, by immersing oneself in the journey of the Divine Masculine there will be paradigm shifts that will give a different meaning to the ones we're used to.
In a separate blog post I'll provide practical ways in which one can reconnect with the Divine Masculine. For now, get excited about the idea that your contribution is essential to the transformation of the world, and that all it is required is to start or continue in the fascinating journey of the Divine Masculine to see a world with eyes that we have never known, in a brand new state of consciousness.
You might also like:
Balancing energies: Restoring male energy and raising female energy.
There are numerous articles claiming that men are afraid of strong, intelligent women. This is partly true, as not all men are fearful of this type of woman. It seems, however, to be a majority. The value of such articles is to create awareness. Once awareness has been raised, it is possible to move towards the solution through understanding.
The problem we face today, is an energy that has been flowing through society for centuries, establishing a set of false beliefs, separation, the supremacy of men over women and all living creatures promoted by the archaic values of a patriarchal society, which is tumbling on its foundations. These values and beliefs also contributed to men to adopt a series of attitudes and behaviours that helped to eclipse the beautiful expression of the divine masculine, as well as suffocating the divine feminine. Thus far, humanity has been living in shadows. How intelligent is that!
Fearing strong and intelligent women is nothing but a trapped energy in men. It is also an unconscious response. In order to change the perception when interacting with this type of woman, we must challenge the beliefs we hold on masculinity. From an early age, men are educated to be more of everything, and more than everyone. The competition is not only with women, it is also with other men. Setting such high standards serves to create anxiety when meeting our own limits, as well as separation and loneliness. It is a man against the world.
The future of humanity is cooperation with both men and women, and a renewed education system that teaches children to be human beings and live in peace and equality.
When a woman is strong and intelligent, she is likely to be confident about her attributes and capabilities. It is no wonder that in the competitive society we live in, women also feel the need to overpower others, including men, resulting in a type of behaviour that in appearance might feel threatening. It is not. Instead is the assertiveness of the own self.
Intelligence is sexy.
Learn to dance to its rhythm.
An intelligent woman will know when to listen and when to talk. This is an advantage, as in the relationships between men and women, women are prone to interrupt, now allowing the interaction to flow. It's not a matter of intelligence, but the urge to be heard. If she's intelligent, she will allow the necessary spaces and tempos for a man to expand his conversation, feelings and desires. These are signs of interest in open and deep conversations and interactions. The relationship could vary in nature, and whether this is romantic, friendship or professional, an intelligent woman would act accordingly.
She will also find the strengths and natural abilities in a man, so as to help him to grow and improve. A woman can help a man to build an empire. The more intelligent she is, the more persistent she will be. Women naturally seek cooperation. If she's gifted with a higher intelligence, she will use it to create. Intelligence is like water for growth.
Intelligence is a positive trait, not a weapon.
Anyone using intelligence to destroy anyone, whether this is a man or a woman, might not be as intelligent as they thought or perhaps do not understand the nature, value or use of intelligence.
More intelligence in most cases means more knowledge, and more resources to face and resolve situations. If she's strong, she will share that knowledge and encourage a man to use it for his own benefit. Knowledge only has power when it's shared.
Conversations with her are also likely to be varied and colourful, perhaps exploring the roots of the issue discussed, so as to reach a deeper understanding, and a colourful expression. An intelligent woman will find the way to convey a message, and explain a subject matter without the need to feel less intelligent or less educated. It's only the weak who prey on the weak.
The fact that she's intelligent
does not make her a threat.
She is a human being. She has a heart and a soul, like everyone else. It makes her sensitive to certain triggers and situations, as it happens with every individual. What she wants more than anything is love. Intelligence does not make her an exception. Intelligence makes a woman more perceptive. This only would represent a problem when a man's intentions are not good. If a man is hiding secrets or leading a life that forces him to hide information from others, intelligence does not make any difference. Women always know.
Intelligence might be an intrinsic part of her, but that's not all there is to her. She has other parts, and it is for a man to find out and unveil the mystery of her soul.
If she's successful, she will use her resources to encourage, help and support a man to reach success. In this sense, women are more generous and do not fear competition as much as we men do. There could be, of course, exceptional cases in a professional environment in which a woman has to compete with men and other women. Such is society these days, but this fact cannot and shouldn't be used against her. We use what we have, to get what we want and need.
Women make sacrifices, men do not know of.
In a relationship, all these qualities can contribute to improve it, as communication with an intelligent woman tends to flow towards openness. Like everyone else, she will have her most beautiful place within, her sensitivities and anxieties, but overall, she will use her abilities to make it grow. Women have not been educated to be above men, therefore, she will be willing to help a man to expand and grow in every aspect that is required.
Intelligence is a tool of service, to the self first, then to others. At some point the nurturing part will open and you'll feel embraced.
It is important for a man to consider that meeting or interacting with an intelligent woman is not a contest. Challenging old beliefs and shifting our perception about what we have been told and taught to be can only open to possibilities of integration, love, equality and unity. The role of men and the divine masculine is to support the balance of energies, so as to allow the divine feminine to emerge towards the creation of the new earth. Some women would be more intelligent, some would be less. On this they're not different than men.
Intelligence is overrated.
Perhaps the essential part to realise is that intelligence, like every other aspect of the human condition is something that we have to transcend. We're all too serious about life. We're nothing but children playing adulthood and growing deeper frowns and frustrations because we don't understand it and don't know how to play the game. An intelligent woman would know how to do that. She also has her flaws, and she knows about it.
Maybe fear presents itself in these situations because a man feels that he won't be able to overpower such woman, as tradition dictates. We men seriously have to question the values and beliefs that have been imposed on us, and allow the natural abilities in others to flow, so as to create a new world. We all play a different part, and only together we will get to a stage in which we're all thrive in peace and love.
An interaction with a strong and intelligent woman is an excellent opportunity for a man to explore his vulnerabilities, feelings and emotions. This is something that we have been trained to avoid and which is essential for a man to work on, if he ever wants to find inner peace. We don't always have to be strong. Once feelings are allowed to flow, a woman is more receptive. At this point, intelligence will play its part in putting together all the necessary tools for understanding, nurturing and healing.
Intelligence is not an attribute exclusive to men.
And if there's anything men fear, this is women altogether. Intelligence is only a trait, but one that allows a man to test his own limitations, to engage in a process of learning and to grow personally. The first day at school we didn't know what we know now. This is the same.
Intelligent or not, the way to reach a woman is through her heart and her soul. And maybe, only maybe, perhaps we're afraid of showing ours. Think about that.
It's interesting that most women fear men due to rape, violence or death, and that we allow ourselves to be intimidated by an IQ number. It really is time that we men begin to reconsider what we think we know. Let's give ourselves a break. We don't have to know everything.
To understand and forgive behaviours like the ones that inflict physical, psychological and emotional abuse on others, especially when directed to children, it is necessary to change the perception that was shaped in the mind during the period in which took place, as well as being able to, somehow rationalise such actions from the other's point of view. There can be understanding and forgiveness without making excuses for others. Making excuses for others only serves to validate the same behaviour, which in turn allows it to continue.
Forgiveness is possible. Understanding comes first.
Abuse in all three forms described in above appeared in my life at the age of six. For the next ten years, I wouldn't go a day without some kind of abuse. First came physical, followed by emotional and psychological abuse, although not necessarily in this order. Abuse often came for no reason, other than my parents' frustrations. It was a daily battle, and one that I lost and won every day. The reasons didn't make any difference either. It didn't matter whether I broke something by accident or misbehaved. The punishment was always a beating. I was even abused, -again, in any way they could,- for having no appetite. Trying to reason or explain that I was not hungry didn't help. It made it worse.
It was mostly my father, whom day after day hit me as many times as he deemed appropriate, both in public and in private. Public humiliation was often on the menu. Eventually punishment came without thought. I was even punished for the actions of my siblings. I could go on with details and fill an entire book with all memories I have from all the episodes. I have forgiven, but I have not forgotten.
My father often threatened me with sending me to a youth correctional. Something that at the time I didn't know he couldn't do. No wonder that ever since one of my biggest fears has been prison. I lost count of the times I was told I would never do anything with my life.
One day in my early twenties he made the mistake to threatened my younger brother with a correctional in front of me. By that time I was no longer a mouth that wouldn't shut up. I was in fact a menace to anyone standing in my way. I don't believe there have been any threats since.
The positive part of this is that my ultimate goal is freedom. My freedom and the freedom of everyone else.
This is how I learned fear.
I was not an easy child to deal with. In fact, I was impossible to handle. The only person to whom I would listen to and show respect was my teacher for the first two years in primary, to whom I called father several times. Once he left, I was all alone, but to this day, he's the only father figure I ever had. A kind man, generous whom would stay after school teaching me, as during school time and once I had finished the lesson and my homework I taught my classmates.
I had an incredible curiosity that I have not lost, which often led me to explore the mystery beyond everything. Everything was and is fascinating. Behind everything there's always a mystery that once unveiled brings an amazing story. I was born with memories not easy to explain. Memories of a different dimension, and answers to this life. I knew that what my parents were doing to me was wrong, and I was not going to put up with it.
In time, and as the abuse increased, such memories faded and I got lost in the world like everyone else. Not due to a complete amnesia of such knowledge, but because I wanted to protect the soul, and all the secrets within the most beautiful part of me, not knowing then that the soul is always protected.
My response to abuse was not the most intelligent, almost suicidal. Yes, I was terrified when I heard the door opening, knowing that it was my father, and that he would find another reason to hit me and blame me for it, but I was not going to let him get away with it. Soon after this, I became unemotional, on-your-face-defiant. I made a pact with myself, to become the strongest soul that's ever lived. This is a very important moment in my life, as it is the day my inner child is born. A child my age didn't have the strength to survive the tyranny of the hand that thought knew all, but the mythological character that I created within, could bear the unbearable. And it did.
The question that raises here is this, and it applies to everyone: if I was able to bring such a strength to merely survive, what wouldn't I be able to create when I decided that what I want to do is to live instead? The power each of us has within is infinite. We just have to believe it.
I became reckless, despondent and defiant. I wouldn't shut my mouth regardless of the amount of blows I received. One thing I knew for sure was that that man was going to lose his soul beating me. Not only this, I provoked him constantly. I refused to lie in order to avoid a beating. Sometimes I also refused to tell the truth.
Even though it might not be clear, this is to say that I attracted everything that happened. My early dislike of my father comes from the period before birth, but this is a story I am not yet willing to share, as it is irrelevant to the subject.
The truth is that both my parents were afraid of me. I was precocious, a sponge for knowledge, articulate and I had magic with me. From an early age I had an incredible sense of direction, and since I remember I always knew I was going to be a writer. School was too easy. Everything was too easy, and I've always been able to see through people, and to say the most inconvenient truth at the most inconvenient time. If my life has been hard, it is because I chose to. However, this is not excuse for what they did to me, nor what other parents do to their children. They also have to take responsibility for their actions.
The consequences that this treatment had in my life were disastrous for a long period: violence, hatred and self-hatred, alcohol -I started drinking long before ten-, hard drugs, depression, the inability to keep a relationship feeling suffocated by love and a sense of safety, promiscuity, fear of intimacy or a complete disregard for authority. I was not only alone; it was me against the world.
As I write, I feel as if I was writing about a different person. In fact, I am. I cannot longer identify with whom I use to be.
The fairies of childhood, grown up and unemployed.
My childhood dreams were to travel far away or studying in a boarding school, so as soon as I could I left home. As moving out was not enough, I also left the country and have only returned to visit for short periods since. Sometimes to find home, we have to leave it first.
But not everything is what it seems in life. Everything has a meaning, and a different reading once perspective is changed. Perspective can only be changed by understanding. In my case, it was not easy to get there.
At some point in my life I regained most of the magical abilities I had as a child. In order to understand my parents and what was done to me, I had to see first what their childhood and their lives had been like. When I was more lost than ever, I was also fortunate to find great teachers that led me there. I was sick of being me, desperately wanting a break from my life.
Talking to my parents was not a possibility. They were not open enough to facilitate such information. I live in a different country and we have never been close. The only way I could find out was to access the Akashic records, see it and feel it for myself. My parents didn't have it easy either, and I could see that many of the things that were done to me, did not even come from them, but from an energy that has been in the family for generations. It's not possible to blame someone when they don't even know what they are doing or why they do it. If anything, I feel compassion for them.
This energy, I'm happy to say, has died with this generation, my siblings and me. Children in the family are now born in a place of love, healing and freedom. This change is obvious in the new children in the family. It is possible to break the cycle, and only for this, everything I went through was worth it.
Everyone who knows me personally also knows that I've always been very vocal about my situation as a child. I made a flag of my wound. I hesitated to share this story because my parents are still alive, and no matter what, they're good people. They didn't know better. If I share it today is because there are many people out there who have been through similar experiences, and any reference they might find of healing traumas of childhood abuse are not enough.
It is possible to understand, to forgive and to heal from everything, even if at times it seems impossible. I cannot tell anyone else what to do or what to feel. Being angry and traumatised by situations like this is normal, and everyone deserves to take the time they need until they heal. The intention of this blog post is to show others that it is possible. It is not an easy path, and answers don't come as fast as one would wish them to.
Even after accessing the Akashic records, healing didn't come immediately. It would take months until everything changed for me. I do remember the day and the moment that my perception changed, and with it, everything else. It was a powerful moment of letting go, and at looking back in my life, I saw a completely different picture. There was love all over. I just couldn't see it. What I remembered as a childhood in black and white, suddenly was full of colour. The magic returned, and I no longer had to be that strong character that the inner chiild, L'enfant Terrible created.
However raw, unfair or cruel what I have shared today might seem, I wouldn't change my childhood for anything, and if I had to do it all over again, I would choose the same again. What I went through taught me the lessons I needed, so as to be able to do my work in this period of the journey. I can only be grateful to my parents for everything they gave me; the good and the bad. I love them both.
While for years and years, memories of childhood were painful, today there is no emotion attached to them. It's like watching a film in which I was the main actor without feelings of harm or the impression of having been victimised. If feels as if all emotions that related to childhood trauma and abuse had been removed, what allows me to see different ones; the good and loving stories I had lost memory of. Through the trail of these stories I can return to the child I once was, and engage in a different narrative that without a doubt will transform my life today, and in years to come.
Earlier on I described the attitude I developed at a very early age, and which I shaped with a vengeance in order to cause as much mayhem as possible. By revisiting childhood from a different perspective and seeing more colourful scenarios, I can also see that I've been helping and teaching others from a very early age, that love was always there unconditionally. I was born with a purpose, like everyone else.
The only way to remember is to reconnect with the child. The child we once were knows all the answers. And that child is still here, very much alive, buried under all the superficial debris one has to learn in order to survive. But once there's a connection with the child, there's also clarity.
If it took so long to heal was due to my choice of lifestyle: sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. I led an unfeeling life, and for this I can't blame anyone, not even myself. Everything is a lesson. If I didn't learn sooner was because I was not ready to see the truth about myself. The irony is that what we are most afraid of, our own truth, it is also the most beautiful.
I have spoken with my mother about that period and only recently in a conversation she initiated. When she realised what it was like, she apologised. I never asked. I said that everything is forgiven, that no longer matters, and that I love her. I know she only opened up because she no longer saw me as a threat. She felt safe with me for the first time in decades.
My father, however, will have none of it and still lives in denial. We'll get there in time. There's always time and I'll go as far as to say that an apology is not even necessary. Sometimes we have to learn to live without an apology, no matter how much harm others have caused us. The truth cannot be hidden. The longer it takes, the harder it hits.
I have to thank my friend Ines for encouraging to share this story over two years ago. Then I couldn't see the value of it, but today I see that returning to life lessons can be healing, as well as being able to see details that might have appeared insignificant then, but hide beautiful truths and incredible resources to heal and expand. She believes that there are many men going through similar situations to the one I went through, and that in the case of men we are not so prepared to admit that we might have been unable to defend ourselves from abuse.
I am neither a victim, nor a survivor. I just Am.
No one could touch me for years without getting a defensive or aggressive reaction from me, not even my girlfriends. Today it is possible, although I no longer seek intimacy through others or with others. Intimacy is a journey I have to walk alone.
This is my story, my experience and some of the steps I took to heal. Every journey and every experience is different. Therefore, healing can come in many ways, multiple forms and from different people. Everyone must choose what's best for them. Every journey is one valid way to heal, and to find home. Follow your intuition, and above all, your heart. The right people and circumstances will appear. Don't be afraid to ask for help, pay for it, even if you have to borrow money as I did. Once you see the light again, if you cannot see it today, you will see that it was worth it to stay in the path for as long as you have, and to realise that that light has always being there.
The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. The right spiritual reading can serve as a boost in self-confidence and self-esteem, removing depression, anxiety or stress, and help to gain a new perspective.
How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.