There are two questions that women ask me regularly, and for which I can never give a quick answer: how do I find a man like you, or how and where do I find a conscious man? Finding a conscious man is a process. Love happens when we're ready. It's not something that we purchase because we have decided to. In order to reach his heart one has to match their vibrations.
Love is a feeling. Be in love as you are now, and love will come to you. Waiting for someone to come into our lives to feel love is like waiting to find a restaurant, and then being hungry.
Every man has his own story and life experience, therefore each one is at a different level of perception, awareness and consciousness. There's not a magic formula to answer this question or one that suits all situations, although there are similarities that we all share. One blog post can only help to give a few valid tips. A book or a workshop, maybe a course would be more appropriate in order to treat the subject in depth, so as to reach the desired results.
First; do not idealise the figure of the conscious man. He would look at you as an equal and wouldn't like to be put on a pedestal. For him, you're both on top of it, where the two of you belong. Let's not turn the conscious man into another prince charming and kill its notion with unreal expectations. The one example I can give here is my experience and perception when I am asked the question. Most women asking this question know me through my writing, not in person. I might be what they expect, but then, I might not. To me it is clear that an image has been created of me. It is hopeful, but it is also limiting, as expectations have already been created.
However conscious a man is, he's not perfect. He doesn't look for perfection either. Like everybody else he still has to make efforts to live and deal with reality. Perhaps the difference is that they managed to find a place of peace within and a level of maturity in which obstacles no longer represent a struggle, hence separating from drama. He is still human, even though due to behaviour, depth and understanding he might have detached from many of the behavioural problems that differentiate a man from a boy.
Be patient. He surely is. If he's single, it's not because he cannot meet women. He can. It's most likely his choice to be single. There are many reasons why he's currently single. It's best not to ask. Even though he can give a whole array of reasons why he's unattached, explaining himself is not how he wants to spend his time. Being single is not a social disease as many people seem to interpret. To him, being single is a natural stage in life. He might be working on an important project, going through a period of self-discovery or simply he has not met his match since his last relationship.
Being single does not devalue a person, quite the opposite, it is a period of growth and if and when used wisely, it adds value to an individual both men and women.
Accept what is, enjoy the moment and allow the connection to grow organically. Pseudo-conversations about what and why not's could reduce your possibilities to touch his heart. Live the now when you have the opportunity to be together. He'd be able to read this energy. The energy of a woman who can enjoy the present moment is very seductive to anyone, not just to a conscious man.
Patience is extremely important in the process. He's not in a rush to start a new relationship, and to pressure him into it could send the wrong signals. Most likely he knows from the first moment of meeting whether he wants to be in a relationship with you or if there's a possibility of the two of you to be together. He follows his intuition. Follow yours. When he sees in you what you're truly worth he'd decide. If he's not ready or doesn't want to, he'd also let you know.
Deciding to start a relationship, however, is a matter of two. More than deciding, he'll show that he's open to the possibility.
A conscious man won't mislead you into believing anything else but what he means. He is also a man with a conscience.
Ask yourself the following question: Is this what I really want? While being in a relationship with a conscious man may have its perks, there are other aspects that must be considered. To him, a relationship is a loving and nurturing common ground in which to build something together. The relationship must add value to his life. While he's going to be very understanding about whatever issues you might be dealing with, he won't let you get away with anything that's damaging and will propose to deal with any important matters immediately.
The moment to deal with such episodes is always now. This approach will not only prevent future misunderstandings; it also helps to prevent creating and storing negative energy that will come back with a vengeance at a later stage. In other words, he's not going to put up with any drama.
He's not your therapist or your counsellor. He's is your friend, your lover. A friend who knows that relationships are the perfect platform for individual and mutual growth and healing; and that in order to achieve it he has to actively work with his mirror. You. Don't be afraid by this. It's the kind of work that is done lovingly and for a good reason. You're not on trial, you're in love.
When it comes to the point of beginning a relationship, a conscious man, but also a woman, will seriously debate between what they need and what they want. It is possible that they choose what is needed in order to grow. Somehow he knows that what he wants alone won't give, neither him nor you what you both need. Although this might cause a heartache in the moment, it only means that the future will bring something better.
Be honest. Above all, be honest with yourself in your actions and beliefs. This is what he wants from you. Without neglecting his needs, he's more concerned and dedicated to your needs than his own. What he wants and expects is to hear and seeing you being honest with your soul. That you know your own truth is more important to him than anything else. As you dig deeper in your own truth loves grows too.
He's not that concerned about your looks. And neither should you! Physical attraction is as important to him, as it is for everyone else, but he's more interested in other things, such as the parts of you that a body doesn't show at a first sight. More than looking, he's going to be perceiving and feeling who you are. Good looks is not the only thing that makes a woman beautiful or sexy. Sometimes the way one carries themselves can do this for them. Looks wither in time and what remains is what one holds within. Intelligence, an open heart or experience to name a few are also very attractive.
While living the present moment is essential for him, he also knows and sees in which direction the seeds planted in the now will grow. And remember this: he's going to fall in love with your soul. That is the kind of relationship that might last. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and dare to show your soul in all its splendour.
Avoid small talk. Small talk can only keep the conversation small, limited. This is not where you want to be or go to. Not with him, not with anyone else. Make it interesting and avoid the temptation to know what he does, what he owns or what his hobbies are. Allow the conversation to grow organically. All those aspects of him will be revealed when the time is right. It's perfectly fine to be silent.
Feel your own presence and be comfortable with it. Two people don't need to talk non-stop. There's also a need for pause. Always. Perhaps the most important reason not to engage in small talk is to avoid clichés. You don't want your relationship to begin with it or turn into one.
It's very likely that he doesn't engage in small talk and that he soon removes himself from the picture to find something or someone more interesting.
I conscious man might not have much in material terms. Know this and be prepared to build something together. Do not try to lure him with anything material. He'll be willing to consider a partnership, but if he feels that he's been bought, he'll disappear without explanation. Consciousness brings along an overwhelming sense of freedom.
Don't use sex as 'bait'. If he's single, he might not even be dating and sex won't be in his list of priorities. If sex is a driving force in his life or the objective, he might not be that conscious after all. Sex is an important part in a relationship, but like everything else, it will happen when the time is right. Many women erroneously use sex to reach the heart of man, mostly because they know that this is what most men want and are expecting.
If the man you pursue is conscious, he will enjoy the preamble, the dance of souls, the period in which you both get to know each other, and will be looking forward to the moment when you have sex for the first time, but it will never be the founding stone of the relationship.
Of course, a man and a woman could meet, have sex the first day and have a lasting relationship. There's nothing written in stone, no infallible rules. When it comes to human entanglement, one has to be spontaneous, flexible and expect it all. This blog post might be used as a guidance, but nothing beats experience; your own experience and vision of the situation.
It is also possible that sex happens the first day. A conscious man is a magnet to women, although it is also possible that he has consciously 'switched it off' while he's busy doing something else. Expect anything and everything.
Be confident. If what you want is a conscious man, there's no reason you can't have him. You deserve it. Know it and own it.
Don't be a player. If he's interested in you, it is very unlikely that he's interested in other women. As he decides to get to know you, he will give you his full attention. Even if it leads nowhere, he won't be mixing energies with a third party or with other women. If he has decided to get to know you it is because he has seen in you something special. He won't take any less than what he's offering.
Just in case this is not clear enough, he will know that there's someone else. You might get a period of time to clear your space and personal life, but when he feels that the presence of another suitor is interfering, it is very likely that he disappears to never return.
Stop feeding your connections with unconscious men. Whether these connections are romantic or merely sexual, all human interactions leave an energetic imprint that could make you unattractive. In order to get what we want, we often have to say no to what we don't want.
If your heart is not clear of previous romantic attachments, there might not be room for another man in your life, conscious or not.
To him, love is not a competition. Removing himself from the situation is not a defeat, but a wise move. If a woman is in doubt between him and other men, it is a sign that she can't see him for who she is. A conscious man only competes with himself to become a better person than he was the day before. In his path and vision, he wants to improve himself. Sometimes, especially when in doubt, it is easier to remain single and alone.
Don't play hard to get. Be hard to get because you recognise and feel your true worth. If it's a play, it is easy to recognise and he'll move on.
Matching vibrations. Everything can change in a second. However, it is rare that anyone moves from an unconscious life to a conscious one from one day to the other. It's not that difficult either. Deep within, and not so deep, we all know the answers, although we tend to look the other way in order to gain immediate gratification.
A few changes to your life might be necessary. At this point you must embody the leader in your life. You're not chasing a man, you're attracting him; consciously. Review your life. Don't give yourself a hard time and believe that everything is possible. Do you need to make any changes or is your life good as it is? Only you can answer such questions.
When we don't answer our own questions, life will answer them for us in ways that we might not want to experience.
As written above, there are many other aspects to consider. It is an active process, not a blog post or a book that is read and put aside for a better time. In essence, the process in itself is not so much about a man you're pursuing or dreaming of, but about you and improving your life. The attention should be focused on yourself.
Be yourself. Above all; be yourself. Don't be who or what you might think the world wants. Be authentic. The truth is that a conscious man would love your flaws as much as he'd love your best qualities. He doesn't care that much about what state of consciousness you're in. If he sees a possibility he will jump right into it and take you along with him. Forget whatever doubts life may have taught you to believe and remember that you are perfect as you are. That feeling alone is enough to attract him.
I end with the feeling and knowing that there's much more to this subject. To be continued ... maybe....... You might also enjoy
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This book is a journey through the all the phases of heartbreak, exploring its unknown or unperceived origins, and how it affects a person throughout life, influencing thinking, behaviour, personal choices, relationships and in particular the hurt after separation. It offers a simple, practical healing method with practices easily adaptable to everyone's experience, taking the reader to the liberating moment of letting go. It is also an examination of the stage of being in love, and how by listening to the call of the soul, anyone could live in a permanent state of bliss.
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