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Emotional Suicide: The High Cost Of An Unfeeling Life.

It´s easy to numb feelings in a world that constantly nudges people with contradictory, messages and unreal expectations dictating what a person has to do, feel, think or be. By the time someone decides to live an unfeeling life, they have already developed a marked character, personality and a set of beliefs that will define their identity probably for the rest of their existence. 

Even though they´re equal in nature, the delivery of these messages and expectations are different, more calculated and subtle. They´re echoes of what parents, family, friends and teachers taught or tried to teach you from an early age, but also unloving and with the deliberate intention to show that you´re not enough. It´s a clever way to tell you that you that you don´t have free will or any other choices than those already formulated.

There´s a moment in childhood in which almost everyone somehow gives in to the formulaic ways of the world in order to be loved. While love is what we seek, most of us would be contented with being accepted by others in order not to feel alone. The alternative, not conforming to parental rules or society's expectations can be the beginning of a tough life, but also an interesting and fascinating one. Eventually we all bite the bait in one way or another, but those seeking to see the freedom within represented in the outside world won't stay for too long and will move on to new adventures. It's the call of the soul.

The process of adaptation to the world in a child is heartbreaking. Children's actions are founded on love, but as what the child receives in return is far from it, one tends to withdraw. Love and trust make us vulnerable. This vulnerability is understood by the world as weakness. Any kind of emotion whether in a man, a woman or a child is met with condescending or bullying. Even the most loving parents can bully their children. Often, their bullying actions are conscious, but even when their intentions are to toughen up their children, it causes a damage that can be irreparable in many individuals. It also displays the actions and beliefs of an unconscious person.

The immediate reaction in a child is to numb their feelings in order to survive, to preserve the inner beauty for better days. This is an instinctual reaction that serves as a defense mechanism. The barriers we create to love work in both ways. They protect us from being hurt, but also prevent us from fully loving. One can still experience love or to fall in love momentarily, but by this point, love is something not to trust. The unconscious speaks to body and mind of a previous hurt; one that one might not even remember as it occurred at an early age. 

It's not fear what scares people most; it's love.

Some people would never believe they have been traumatised, nor admit to trauma, as they experienced what it's considered a normal and loving childhood. Sometimes the sense of abandonment can be as simple as a parent being distracted for a few seconds during an interaction. It doesn't have to be a violent event. 

Detached or unloving parents can have a traumatic effect on children, leading the towards an unfeeling life.

Fear of love influences every romantic relationship. Numbing feelings is a form of slow suicide; one that deters the individual from loving fully. People can still fall in love, if only for a while, but at the first symptom of abandonment from their partners, they'll withdraw. 

A blog entry on fear of love can be found on this link.

Choosing an unfeeling life leads to create a narcissistic personality to one degree or another. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies. Some develop them more than others. It's possible to return to love from a narcissistic personality, but that would be a theme for a different blog post. 

In this way, an individual will choose a partner they don't really want to be with. It's easier to leave them. For this purpose they grow feelings for someone to experience love, but never to have a long term or meaningful relationship with. In some cases such approach might backfire, as they do fall in love, at which point they'll begin to sabotage the relationship in every possible way they can imagine until their partners see no other option that to leave. A person that is closed to love would sacrifice a relationship with a person they'd probably spend their lives with, just not to feel vulnerable. 

All barriers to love raise once again. They feel numb and their minds rationalise thousand excuses not to love the person they're in love with. These type of people move on to another relationship fairly quick, if not immediately, as deep inside they feel empty and alone. They need company, as well as feeling loved and wanted. The paradox here is that they can't live without love. Once again they'll choose someone they can't love, and in occasions someone they might not even find that attractive. It's a safe zone in which they can be strong and in control. Anything is valid in order not to show the vulnerability that appears when we fall in love. 

Numbing feelings might offer the impression that one is safe momentarily. It could be for long periods of time, years of even a lifetime, but there's a point in which missing someone they want to have a deeper connection with present itself. The longer we choose to remain in the prison of an unemotional life, the harder feelings and emotions will hit at a later stage.

The only escape from feelings and emotions is to feel.

The approach to life is unconscious. A decision that most likely was taken in childhood and which can affect the most wonderful people. This is one of the reasons why people do not meet their ideal partner. While someone is being distracted by lovers, meaningless affairs and people they can't really love, the ideal partner is elsewhere leading a different life, but also waiting for them. It does take courage to love.

An unemotional life also prevents the individual from showing their best and unique qualities to themselves, as well as to the world. It prolongs the feeling that you're not enough, and even though it's not admitted, a strong sense that you might not deserve love. Either way, it hurts. Being brave enough to admit it to yourself is an entirely different story.

There's true magic in love and in unleashing the authenticity of the true self. The magic within each person is endless. It transforms lives, states of being, improves health, as well as personal lives and relationships. 

While this is a common problem in modern society, it's not one to be judged, but exposed. Numbing feelings might prevent negative feelings and emotions from reaching the heart, but it also prevents to live a life In Love, which is where we come from and where we all belong. 

An unemotional life also has consequences in relationships with other people, especially friends and family. As the barriers grow stronger, sharper and more numerous, it's almost unavoidable to hurt others, including ourselves. It creates isolation, depression and despair, a further sensation of being not good enough or being undeserving of love. 

As one feels that they're not deserving of love, the believe that others aren't also grows. No one will ever be enough. From then on it's a long and painful journey back to love. The safety one believes they live surrounded by increases insecurities, affecting self-esteem negatively. 

There's a way out of this prison through feeling and emotions. The more we feel, the less one will be affected by such emotions. Emotions become weaker opening up the wonders we all have within, to a life of authenticity, inner peace and confidence in which anyone would experience a healthier state of being, living in the knowing and patience that love is always at reach. It allows us not only to open up channels to find true love with the ideal person, but to improve our relationships with others. 

There's always a solution to everything. It's as simple as taking the lead and give one step forward and out of the prison one day at a time. There's no rush. Whether you're single or in a relationship, use your time and energy to improve yourself to do all those things that you always wanted to do, to follow your dreams, to learn new and different things, to visit new places. The list is endless. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and see the magic happen. 

There's a high cost to an unemotional life, which is not to live from your heart; not to live at all. One might feel protected in this situation while young, somehow feeling invincible and immortal, but there's regret at the end of the tunnel. Regret for an unloving and unexplored life. There's no such thing as an adventure, if this adventure is not travelled within.

Vulnerability makes us stronger, as we rediscover a new type of strength and confidence that lie within. It takes you beyond fear. Sometimes a leap of faith is as simple as that.


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Men And Emotions: The Legacy Of Patriarchy.

The emotional body is formed by unprocessed feelings and emotions. Feelings and emotions arise from personal experience. These also received and perceived from the collective experience. Everything is energy. Everything is connected. When not felt and processed, the energy produced remains stored in the body causing all sorts of automatic reactions, creating habits, patterns in behaviour and even influencing someone´s character and personality. The energetic legacy that a person can unknowingly carry is not limited to what they experienced in life, but also the legacy of centuries of patriarchy with everything that it entails. 

In many ways, the human being is a ´puppet´ to the emotional body. Feeling helps to process emotions, and through feeling one can find the source of the emotion, so as to separate from it. A memory, a situation of the past always finds triggers in the present bringing up the same uncomfortable emotion. There´s no escape from emotion. An unprocessed emotion will always come back.

As women are more expressive with their emotions, it´s popular belief that they hold the exclusivity. This is not only an illusion, but a convenient truth perpetuating the lie of the patriarch. Women are in touch with a wider array of emotions. It´s that simple.

Popular belief does not necessarily match the truth. In fact, currently there´s not much truth circulating the world, neither personal, nor collective while individuals and society lives imprisoned within the emotional body.

The energetic legacy can be understood from the perspective that everything -past, present and future- is here and now. It´s not so much that we´re dragging the heavy burden of a shameful history and bad education, but that we continue doing, thinking and believing centuries of indoctrination based on fear. 

It´s shocking, although not surprising, that in the era of information when truth can  be easily identified, humanity continues reinforcing a system that is obsolete, going against personal and collective interest. It´s no longer necessary for the elites to control the masses; we do it to ourselves.

The elites do as they please. We respond to everything by going on a tantrum on social media, displaying the attitude of the inner child. A child that has to be nurtured and loved if we want him and her to grow up. 

The common belief is that men are not emotional. There´s a degree of truth to the previous statement, as men are not taught to express or process their emotions, but to suppress them instead. This is, however, a trend that´s changing. From an early age, boys are encouraged to be strong and competitive, to be the best, to not cry, to man up, to deal with it. Everything that their parents couldn´t be, they have to become.

Tears, which are natural in a human being, whether male or female, are interpreted as a sign of weakness. This is another common belief. It´s no wonder that collective consciousness is at an all time low. Tears are healing, liberating, and intrinsic and natural vehicle in a human being on the path to freedom. 

We cry as children when facing a situation that separates us from the truth of the soul, somehow knowing and accepting that this is the way is going to be from then on. Eventually that child is so absorbed by the new reality that the only way to go along with it, is to block the emotion. Boys train themselves not to cry, so as to avoid being seen as weak; to try and prevent uncomfortable situations such as bullying or name calling. 

The pressure that a boy of a young age feels to be ´strong´ is unbearable, as well as destructive. Little by little, this boy would learn to suppress their emotions, separating from his true essence. The truth is that such interpretation has the opposite effect. It makes us weak. Inner strength always remains within, but being able to connect with it can prove to be a hard task. Men are not weak, we´ve been made to believe that we are.

A boy´s childhood can be compared to a boot camp, a period in which a child is merely trained to make it in the competitive world. Fortunately, this is also another trend that is changing. The pressure one is put under is not to be taken lightly or something that one can just "get over it". As a child learns to suppress feelings and emotions, he´s also learning to negate the best in themselves until all or most of their natural abilities are forgotten. 

In time such disconnection is represented by an unreal and ´weak´version of what this child could have been. It´s through feeling and processing emotions that one returns to rediscover the treasures everyone holds within. It´s never too late. 

Suppressing our natural abilities causes boys and men to focus on external, superficial expression. Everything becomes superficial. As we lose the connection with the core, the impression is that nothing and no one has depth, a soul, not even a heart. From this moment on, and as we hurt inside, we have a ´licence´ to hurt others. Natural empathetic abilities are lost, and as we can´t feel, the belief is that others can´t either. 

Living an unfeeling life, it´s no wonder how appallingly one human being can treat another.

The truth is that everyone hurts. Everyone is on the same boat. Everyone has a soul that is pushing through to come out once again to show the best of ourselves. Pain and suffering won´t stop to appear in the most uncomfortable ways until we reconnect with the inner truth once again, and by default with universal truth.  

Men are emotional like any human being. However, the emotional scope in men is limited to emotions that are socially acceptable to feel and express. The association with strong and aggressive emotions such as anger or rage might give the impression that men have disassociated from others such as shame, sadness. Yes, there are bouts of happiness or joy, but a person who´s permanently associated with anger cannot be a happy person. This applies equally to both men and women.

In order to avoid feelings of shame, abandonment or being not enough is usually covered up by anger, thus avoiding to deal with the real emotion and current situation. 

The figure of the angry man perfectly illustrates this point. This is a figure that has been elevated to a mythological status,  and which promotes more anger. The social validation of men, anger and the spontaneous reactions and consequences form a dangerous cocktail. Prisons are full of angry men, as graveyards are inhabited by the victims of such fear and anger.

It´s acceptable to be the ´angry man´ when our past has a trail of hardship, and by default understood as a natural cause in someone´s life. It´s not associated with an emotional state, but as a consequence of difficult life experiences. In the case of women, -rumour has it- they´re are always emotional, as women can move from anger to sadness to happiness within in a short period of time. It´s a way to process feelings and emotions faster. It doesn´t mean that women have learned to deal with their emotions in order to fully heal either. But how could they -or men or children for that matter- seeing how they´re treated feeling constantly threatened with anger, rape or violence? 

Men do not escape the constant threat either. Everyone is vulnerable. We just got used to it and deal with it in a different manner.

It´s ok to feel and express anger. Anger is a energy that when used creatively can bring extraordinary results. Many of the experiences both, men and women go through during childhood does not invite healthier feelings. Being angry is a sign that one is not enough. To feel that you are not enough is one thing, the truth is something different. You are enough. Everyone is enough. Whether you´re a man or a woman, you´re enough. 

Society´s validation or compliance with the figure of the angry man is the shameful legacy of patriarchy. An angry man that´s causing mayhem led by a set of false beliefs accepted as the only truth. The inner child only knows one truth, and it´s not a good one.

Reconnecting with the body:

In order to avoid emotions, men tend to process situations mentally, thus creating further disconnection between mind and body. In so many ways emotions are useless, as are our mindless reactions to them.

Avoiding emotions causes an energetic imbalance. Reacting with anger to every emotion produces the same effect. However, processing emotions allows everyone to return to their true essence. From an early age everyone is told that we´re not good enough and made to feel so. By accepting and continuing with the types of behaviour that at one point in childhood we knew to go against our true nature, not only we validate the statement that we´re not enough, we embrace and embody it. 

There´s a time in life in which one ought to take responsibility for who we are, and if we don´t like it, change it. It's time to stop blaming our parents, society and their entire world for our unsatisfactory lives. We are society. What every man has to be aware of is that their beliefs, thoughts, behaviour and actions are representative of the collective. Every man´s action is reflected on every other man across the world. As it is, any man has to make strenuous efforts in order to prove to the world that they can be trusted, to clear an image that has been tarnished by the behaviour of every man before we arrive to the place we´re now. 

Like everyone else I personally went through a long period in which I was made to believe that I was not enough. Even though since the moment of birth I´ve always felt complete, knowing that I was enough, there were times of doubt, low moods, despair, anger and rage, as I continued to listen to the oppressive noise of the world. 

Everything began to change when I realised that the noise of the world was merely an internal voice that I kept repeating to myself. As I got in touch with who I really am, I neither doubt myself, nor have the need to prove myself to anyone. When someone else´s doubt is thrown at and projected on me I respond with a powerful silence. If anything, the doubt of others serves me a compass that shows me where to remain or not.  

Having to prove ourselves to others due to the fears and insecurities of others only serves to deviate from who we are in order to please them. It´s offensive to my authenticity; an insult to my true essence. 

My thoughts, beliefs, behaviour and actions speak for themselves. I do not need to speak about it. I am, of course not perfect, nor I want to be. Nor I am better or worse that anyone else. Just different.

However much I´ve always identified with the knowing that this life is about being a better person, not a man or woman, I´m also aware that biologically I was born male. I am also every man, as you are. I´ve chosen what kind of man and person I am and want to be. What kind of man you are and decide to be, is up to you. Just know and remember that your actions and behaviour is projected on every other man, and that in itself is a great responsibility. 

It's exhausting to have to pay for the mistakes of others for the mere fact of sharing the same gender.

Every day we are face with multiple choices that determine whether we're authentic and true to our inner truth or we continue pleasing the dictate of the patriarch. it's hard to be authentic to our true nature in a world in which everyone seems to be offended. Taking offense is just another shield to avoid responsibility and emotion, so as to stay in the uncomfortable comfort zone.

For what's worth, many women lately are also choosing anger in order to avoid feeling and emotion. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their feeling and emotions or this is not going to end well. 

There's freedom within you, but you have to feel and probably cry your way to it. There's an easier path to freedom, and it's here: The Key To Abundance.


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The Key To Abundance, Ascension And The Higher Self.

Within each individual there´s an inner compass which allows them to follow the path towards abundance in all forms imaginable. Unfortunately it remains overlooked in the shadows of the unconscious. People are hardly aware that it exists, as society rarely provides the appropriate parameters and platforms for personal realisation. Everyone knows the meaning of integrity, but rarely its true value or what's gained by embracing its energy.

We´re all society, therefore, what everyone does to improve it and change it with the purpose of creating a world that serves the needs of everyone, not only a few, is of the utmost importance. 

Everyone´s contribution is important. No exceptions. Sometimes all that is required is a simple act of kindness. There´s no need for great achievements, nor grand, public eloquent gestures. Simplicity contains an enchanting energy, which is often overlooked. Simple, is enough. Everyone can do their best without comparing to what others may or may not do. To improve the world, we improve ourselves. 

The world is in serious need of a new education system that provides true knowledge and the suitable tools that people can manage from the moment of birth in order to grow up with the feelings of internal peace, love and happiness. An education that tells everyone that we are good enough as we are. An education that is not based on fear. As currently this is not the case, one has to return to love learning how to along the way.

This inner compass is integrity. The definition of integrity is: "the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change". It also means, wholeness, undivided. 

When we look at this definition, it's easy to interpret that being honest and having moral principals must match those already established by society, religion and tradition. 

The kind of integrity that allows an individual to reach a certain level of awareness and conscience, so as to become whole again and in touch with the higher self, might differ from that of the uniformity of society. It can be recognised through feelings and emotions. Every person on earth is given multiple choices daily being free to opt for one or another at any given time. These choices do not always represent a moral dilemma. A person could be following a certain type of diet and decide to skip it when no one is looking. It is the feeling that follows after, which affects emotions, the state of being and always comes with a lesson. 

Actions, thoughts or a few spoken words are inevitably followed by feelings. In order to sharpen the senses, so as to identify this inner compass one needs to pay attention the immediate feeling. It's easy to recognise, not always easy to follow. A clear example of how an action or a situation affects someone's emotional field is as simple as to look for a cafeteria or a bar. There are places someone would not visit because it offers a vibe that does not match their energetic field. When this is the case, to enter a place not of our liking causes an uncomfortable emotion. The feeling was already there at the door, as a premonition of the emotion to come. Why we keep choosing the wrong place to be might have to do with the fact that uncomfortable is familiar. Familiar is not necessarily healthy.

The same applies in interactions with people. A person chooses to communicate with some people, but not with others. The key to find it is in everyone's personal choices. During communication with others, the problem arises when the people one chooses to mix with do not add any value to their lives or personal growth, but subtract time and energy instead, and yet, they do continue engaging with the same people for different reasons.

These are simple examples that help to identify what one is truly looking for; an emotional state of well being. Integrity is a commitment to the self, not so much to others. Acting in ways that deface our values and integrity due to peer pressure never brought any good to anyone. It causes separation from the core. The more these actions are repeated the longer is the journey back home, the journey to love.

Following the integrity compass might not be an easy task. It requires to abandon habits, certain beliefs and ideas that at some point were understood as truth and might be deeply ingrained in one's belief system. This represents one of the major obstacles in personal growth. People don't like changes. They might not be supportive nor understanding of the new you. 

It's impossible to have integrity and follow your dreams while still trying to please everyone around. It might take a lot of courage and a great amount of energy to be yourself once the process of expansion and growth has begun, but it's worth it. 

If there's no commitment to the self, there can be no growth or it would be delayed for as long as we stand on the fence pondering whether we should be authentic or not. Often, what deters someone is not others, but one's own fear of the unknown, fear of leaving behind certain aspects of their lives and personality traits that have been with the during a long part of the journey. Not knowing what comes next, may lead to doubt and hesitation. While we wait to give a step forward in the right direction the same mistakes are repeated again and again.

Embracing integrity brings one great benefit to life, which is the narrowing down of the options left ahead. As you leave what no longer serves you, you will be presented with different choices and opportunities carrying different energies that would certainly lead to better emotional states. No one can jump from one stage to the other without removing habits, beliefs and actions that only act as heavy burdens. Being used to it doesn't mean that we must follow them by inertia. It's essential to let go. 

However comfortable one may be to continue acting in the old ways, it is perhaps important to notice that many of these types of behaviour, habits, actions and thoughts have been conditioned by others, society, culture or religion and that in most cases have been adopted in order to survive; in order to be accepted. Question everything. 

It's also possible that mistakes made are not fully conscious. For this reason, paying attention to our emotional state at the time would provide with an answer. In a way, this is trial and error process. You are the student and the teacher. If one continues seeking an answer, they will certainly find it.

As one growths in integrity, they create a different energy within, one which is more in tune with the true self. The new energy vibrates at a different frequency attracting new people and situations. It's a matter of feeling and emotion. Do you feel depleted, numb or uplifted?

Perhaps it's easy to embrace integrity when alone, but the true challenge comes when communicating with others. This aspect is the of the utmost importance and one we have to pay attention to. It's often the case that we talk to people expressing fear, as if coercing them into making a decision that they'd rather didn't take, in order to be benefited from such interaction. When communicating with others, they must feel the freedom to make their own choice, transmitting an energy that whatever the outcome may be, we remain unaltered. It's their life, their decision, thus it's a situation that should benefit them.

We can't talk of love while we're trying to achieve it by fear. If it's not love, is better not to have it at all.

There is a child within, a child that exists long before the inner child is born and who has all the answers. Integrity is what that child would do in each situation. When in doubt, ask the child, they have feelings too. Which emotional state this child lives in is always up to you. Integrity is the path to freedom, where love lives. You were once that child; whole and undivided. You're complete as you are, but you might not remember.

How Karma Might Be Keeping You Hopeless And Down?

Karma is an Indian concept, with its origings in Budhism and Taoism among other religions, which argues that the actions and deeds one takes affect future events and even future lives. It´s the law of cause and effect.  When someone believes that they have experienced previous lives, and they might have, it´s easy to find a certain amount of comfort in the idea that all misdeeds and misfortunes in this life are due to karma from a past life, and blame on it what happens in the present or what comes next, thus accepting as a must, stories of doom and gloom that only serve to prevent happiness. 

It has become an extended belief among the spiritual community, -and the not so spiritual-, to accept that our current reality is all there is to life. "I did something wrong, therefore I must pay for it." The belief goes further, people also accept that the soul is affected by it, that the soul is somehow fragmented or misaligned. In other words, karma has become a substitute or replacement for Christian guilt. 

These concepts and beliefs are deeply ingrained in the collective consciousness. It spreads by word of mouth in the every day life in every geography of the world. Word of mouth can be a wonderful vehicle of story telling, but when karma is spread as a cliché. It there´s nothing positive or kind to say, it´s better to say nothing at all. Silence is full of beauty and wisdom. It is also avoidance, not taking responsibility for their own well being and happiness. 

Fuck karma! There ... I said it.

The concept of karma might not be as distant from the truth, but there are a few clarifications that have to be made. First, the human proclivity to negativity and self-defeat, and understanding life as such. Everyone has done something wrong, as everyone did many things right. If people were to re-examine their lives, they would realise that behind them there´s a long trail of good thoughts, good intentions and wonderful actions. So many people have been inspired by you. You just don´t know it. It's time you begin to take credit from it and change the perception of karma and it's effects.

The human tendency to self defeat and negative thinking is a plague, never expecting to be rewarded for the good, but to be ´punished´ for the bad because of karma. It´s not karma, but guilt that keeps the ball rolling and manifesting more negative experiences.

Having in mind that karma is going to strike back at any given time, people are keeping themselves small, attracting negative experiences and perpetuating the belief that perhaps, after a long period of redemption and good deeds happiness might show up to lighten up our story. Negative experiences are not only accepted, but people remain in them, while in reality, it would be so easy to remove themselves from any situation that doesn´t bring anything positive in your life.

If you don´t like it, don´t take it. Move on onto better things. Remember that it´s better to be alone, than keeping the company of those who cannot inspire us.

It´s pointless to revoke religion and move towards spirituality if there is not a shift in beliefs. Changing one negative concept for another keeps us where we were, small and hopeless. It's easy to control someone or the masses with the illusion of  fear, and karma has become a powerful tool to do so. What governments and religion used to do to people spreading fear and guilt, and still continue doing, the ´spiritual community´ is are doing to themselves, then to others. 

The burden of karma keeps breaking your heart. It is not possible to love with a broken heart .... spiritual or not. 

Understanding cause and effect:

Let´s use the concept of heartbreak to illustrate this point. Max -a fictional person- has had a number of relationships in his life. Throughout he left a trail of broken hearts to which he has remained somehow indifferent. He was always in control and left every relationship he was involved in. In his case, this could work in two different ways. It is not necessary -even though possible- to examine Max character in depth to explain why he holds firm to such belief and line of action. 

Why, can be reduced to two different possibilities: either Max is unconscious and unfeeling towards the concept, feeling and consequences of  heartbreak or he goes through life breaking hearts for sport. In both cases, the emotion created is the same, and so the consequences for others and himself. Every action, thought, word or feeling creates an energy. 

Breaking someone´s heart creates the same energy, whether the process is unconscious or not. In both cases, Max is looking to explore and experience the energy of heartbreak. His heart has probably been broken at some point in the past, even though it's possible he doesn't remember. At this stage he´s experiencing heartbreak form the outside, remaining unfeeling towards someone else´s emotions, but there´s a limit to how much heartbreak we can create in life. He´s curious about it. It does not mean that he does not care about what people feel, only that he´s unable to have the same feeling. Max is in a safe place, or so he thinks. 

Eventually the energy that he has produced and recreated for years is going to catch up with him. Usually people following the pattern of leaving relationships fear abandonment, therefore they begin relationships with someone they don´t really want to be with in the long term, which makes it much easier breaking up any relationship, romantic or not. 

Choosing to be in a relationship with someone we don´t really want to be with is an unconscious act, at least for a while. Eventually this person will meet someone they truly want to be in a relationship with. At this stage Max is probably going to be experiencing emotions that have remained buried deep within up to this moment. Vertigo! He feels vulnerable. Fearing the end of the relationship he´s no longer in control. His new partner is. Being in this position can be excruciating. The pattern he previously followed has been broken. What probably follows next is heartbreak. 

Heartbreak is necessary in the process of self-healing. Keep breaking your heart until it opens. It´s either this or to live with a broken heart all your life. A heart that was once broken and you might not remember why or how.

A turning point.

Everyone enters this life with a clean slate. Believing that you come to this life with a karmic debt equals the concept of having committed the original sin for the simple fact of having been born. Did you really?

We come to life with free will. We come because we want. We choose our parents, our experiences. Everything that you experience is your responsibility. Free will is with us before the moment of birth. It is not given, it is an intrinsic part in everyone. Let´s stop thinking and believing that there´s an almighty God out there giving at will to some, and not to others. 

The experience of heartbreak can occur as early as at the moment of birth. If this is not the case, it will surely happen during the first years in someone´s life. It could be an experience so subtle that most people do not remember, but one that hits home so deeply that will determine relationships with ourselves, the world and others. 

We make what we want out of this life. At any given time we have the freedom to choose what we want. Let´s stop blaming karma, and let´s take responsibility for our lives. It´s almost certain that the bad karma that someone is experiencing right now is the representation of a script written and repeated again and again by unconscious parents that did not know better. In a way, we become echoes of the words and beliefs of our parents, as an unconscious way of obeying them. 

You´ve been programmed as a receptacle of absorb experiences that validate the ´truth´of your parents or parent figures and what you experienced during childhood. The sources where we get information, whether spiritual, religious or practical will keep leading us in circles to the starting point. If you have experienced that feeling that after a long process of soul seeking you have to begin all over again, this is what it is. The circle has not been broken.

True story:

Anything can change in a second, with a deep breath or not. You have everything that is necessary to become free once again and be who you really are. It is a matter of belief.

Stop listening to your parents or to the noise of the world. Begin listening to yourself. Beware of those who claim that healing is a life long process that ends at the moment of death. There´s no need to suffer for the rest of your life. Beware of people, practices and beliefs that claim that your soul is split, need to do karmic work, chakra alignments that only serve to keep you down, isolated and feeling that you´re not good enough. 

Change your thoughts, change your beliefs, change your life. Separate from anything or anyone that is not ´selling´you the amazing creative possibilities or the outstanding beauty that you have within. Stop asking yourself what you´re doing wrong or you might have done wrong. Give yourself a break. How long do you have to ´pay´for your ´karmic´sins? There's no need to. 

Wrong beliefs lead to wrong actions. Review your life, thoughts, beliefs and actions. Choose who you want to be and follow through with integrity. Let yourself shine and lighten up the world. Encourage others, see the beauty in them and let them know.  One way I´ve followed since I remember is to see the beauty in others. I have been reminded of it often. When I do soul readings for other people, beauty, goodness and love is all I see. Find your way of seeing this beauty, then see and feel what difference makes in your life. 

The soul is always protected. The soul is always complete. If you feel differently is only because throughout life you've been lead to believe that you are not good enough, or incomplete. You are good enough. Find your truth, what makes your soul dance and do more of that until everything that separates from it vanishes from your life. 

And do yourself a favour, stop believing that karma is going to hit you back. How many times do you have to be hit before you rise and be the beautiful manifestation of who you really are? 

If there´s something that doesn't allow people to grow is the human being´s inability to take a pause, sit down and move through emotions. For as long as someone keeps avoiding feelings and emotions, they keep attracting more situations and more people that will keep bringing the same reality. 

You are good enough. Start believing this. Watch your self-talk and listen to who is really talking. It could be your parents, a teacher, a member of your family or your last or current partner. Be kind and loving towards yourself. Make a simple plan to talk with love to yourself and act on it. 

The soul is complete and most likely having fun, rolling its eyes and laughing and what you're doing to yourself. If it´s not fun, loving or healthy remove yourself from it. 

As per karma, forgive yourself; truly forgive yourself and see how your life changes. Perhaps all you need right now is to have the courage to give yourself permission to show the world who you truly are. No matter what you do, people will always find a reason to point out a negative. This is their truth, not yours.

Don´t blame karma. You are the one stopping yourself. Take a step forward and revisit the unknown, what you forgot, which is nothing but the magnificent beauty of who you really are. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, feel your emotions and see what's at the end. Those emotions hold the answer, but as long as we keep avoiding feelings, we deny ourselves. It's easy to blame karma, not so easy to feel.

Twin Flames And Shadow Work.

Twin flames can propel each other in opposites directions for the rest of their lives within minutes; moving from a stage in which they have it all, to having nothing. Separation clearly indicates that shadow work might have been overlooked. In fact, shadow work never ends, but as a couple persist, hold on to love and work on themselves and on getting to understand each other, life gets much easier, and so does the relationship. 

Shadow work makes both people in the relationship stronger. It builds character, strength and allows a deeper understanding of the self, as well as of the loved one. 

Avoiding shadow work by choosing personal comfort and running away from the relationship creates the opposite effect. A distinct sense of weakness enters the journey, and from then on, the journey is up the hill. There´s much to say about how running away affects future relationships. 

Avoiding shadow work or to admit to a new personal truth is surely the fastest way to lose the love and respect of your twin flame.

If there´s a relationship in which two people might want to invest time and energy in shadow work, that is that one that involves twin flames. But who wants to put themselves through the excruciating pain that brings along when life is ´Days of Wine and Roses´? What a great film!

There is no place to escape to when dealing with your twin flame. They sense and know the answers to any questions/issues before one gives an answer. This element in the twin flame relationship can be daunting, but also an incredibly useful tool to accomplish personal growth. As one continues developing and finding renewed strength, the relationship builds on a different energy; the yet unknown energy of your higher self that allows to create magical worlds.

One of the difficulties in all relationships, not only the ones formed by twin flames is that shadow work begins from day one. The fact that the twin flame is an identical mirror which sees and reflects every shadow about you is debilitating. This part of the process must not be confused with neither weakness of character, nor depression. It´s simply the process of separation from the old self towards the new self. It takes time to shed the old skin to grow a new one.

At this point a new journey within begins. The foundations of personal truth are shaken up in such violent manner that one is constantly pushed towards the abyss of a new truth. Someone might not be ready to take the leap of faith towards a self-knowledge, or it could be as simple as not being aware of how the process works. It´s normal to feel hesitant, to doubt which way to go, so tempting to hold on to a lie one has know from the beginning of their existence and remain loyal to the vibration of ego.

Sometimes the window of opportunity to embrace a new truth is a matter of seconds. There might not be another chance after that.

Recognising a new personal truth, so as to separate from what no longer serves us is the easy part in a twin flame relationship. There´s no confusion about it. It resonates differently to every emotion experienced previously. An eloquent silence follows when it is presented for the first time. It is an unmistakable moment, and one that when faced and dealt with correctly offers an incredible opportunity to become a better person. Admitting to a new truth does not make one a liar if up to that point one has been unaware of such a burden. What one learns and are taught from an early age cannot be blame on them. However, once he or she becomes aware of a new truth, it's their responsibility to accept it and change it. It´s time for courage. 

Courage is that one eloquent silence. How we take on it determines who we are from that moment on.

Facing a new truth presents us with a new emotion, often overwhelming. Feel it for as long as you need to and wait patiently to meet the new you. You won´t regret it.

If you´re in a twin flame relationship or suspect that you´re in one, feelings and emotions might drive you crazy, as it´s possible that you no longer recognise yourself. Do not give up. Talk about it and keep loving. Discuss your new truth with your partner, so as to make the journey more comfortable. A twin flame is also a best friend. There´s a chance that they´ll understand and help you to go along with this new feeling. 

Take into consideration that it could take weeks, even months to adapt to a new personal truth. The response to feelings and emotions could be excruciating. Hold on to love, move towards loving and healthy practices and continue having fun. Shadow work doesn't  mean that one has to be be in pain and suffering throughout. Let yourself rest and seek activities that bring you back to life. After all, you´re in what it could be the most beautiful relationship of your life. However intense it is, hold on to it. Give in and surrender to new truths.

There´s a beautiful light at the end of the tunnel; and that light just happens to be you. It´s worth the intensity, the pain, the suffering and the waiting. 


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More on twin flames: 'Twin Flames: A Love Affair.'

Gamble Everything For Love And Remember Who You Are.

The story begins at birth. A child born of love, and In Love. A child still in touch with consciousness born into an unconscious world. Through those wondrous eyes full of love and connection to the higher self the child still has access to portals to different dimensions. He and she are still beings of light, magic and love. At that age, everything is still possible. We are limitless.

As the child grows up they experience a slow process towards the unconscious, learning the fear of the world and its limitations. At some point this child experiences the loss of love and abandonment. From then on, the child will dedicate his life the best they can on a quest of love, to find the love once lost. Unfortunately, some people will resign themselves to live without it, and depending on the degree of hurt, perhaps abuse they will convince themselves that they either don't want love or don't deserve it. 

The journey begins In Love. Perhaps we shouldn't call it journey, and call it life instead. Or let's call it love, for love is all there is, the only word we speak. 

Through others we begin to love again. We're attracted to other people in whom the traits that are dormant in us are vibrant, clearly visible. Then we fall in love. In the quest of love one might find obstacles and doubts that match their belief's system. Love might not be reciprocated, I'm not enough or I'm undeserving of love, though the main obstacle is fear of love. Fear of being hurt or being abandoned once again. 

Everyone without exception is deserving of love and being loved.

One can always stand on the fence and take the safe bet or go beyond their fears and in love find what we really want. Being in love holds the possibility to create magic, a wonderful reality. When one opens their heart and decide to live in love and for love, there's hardly anything they cannot attain, including the person who might not be or seem to be interested. If one, however, falls in the trap of fear or doubt, there's little one can achieve. Love is a magnet. In love one has the courage, vitality and creativity to make all things possible. 

If love is underestimated or believed not to be enough, it's only due to humanity's inability to recognise its true power. There's only love.

As a child who experienced the loss of love fairly soon, I started the quest for love young and eager. I trained myself not to cry -as boys do- and not to fear anything. Against popular belief and family advice and support, I ran away from the comfort and security that most people crave, but which is filled with routine and unhappiness. The only vision in the horizon was and still is love. 

For love I gave up everything on countless occasions. I moved from city to city, wandered from heart to heart -until they could take love no longer- with the energy of a fool in love, my thumbs, the poetry in my heart and little else. The belief has always been that everything would be provided for, and so far it has. Too bad that not everyone could understand with the enchanting uncertainty of the unknown, which is always there to provide when one truly believes. Losing love to safety and comfort hurts. Losing love to fear of love or being hurt or being abandoned hurts even more so.

However unconscious the world tried to make me, love has always been the only safety and comfort I sought. We're nothing without love. Throughout this adventure, constantly I heard that love is not enough. Sad to say that the people I heard it most from are those I love more. 

Last summer love took me to France to follow a dream with the same, unique energy that love can only provide. Once again I left all comfort and safety. Before the choice of love or something else, the decision is clear. 

Love is a tribute to myself.

Arriving in a different country with love as the only plan raised questions. On the one hand I received admiration for such dedication, belief and courage to do so, on the other, fear of what the future might bring, meaning, what it might not. 

By the end of relationship due to fear of love on the other part, I was asked how could I, no matter what keep loving, keep the faith and believe in love, about the regrets I would have having lost everything. My response to this was simple. Love is who and what I am. There's nothing I can, nor would do to change it. 

I Am In Love ... and so are You.

If one thing I've learned and gained in this life, in this adventure called love is to remember who I am, to be able to feel who I am and live what I am. Perhaps I would have loved to know earlier that the path to love is through the self, instead of associating it to another person, but returning to love is a personal experience in which we learn the best we can.

Yes, there were times in which I feared love or pretended I didn't want to be loved. Times in which I feared to be abandoned. Times in which I chose to be with people I couldn't truly love, so it wouldn't hurt. But after this wonderful experience in which love has been generous and abundant, I know that the only path to remember who I Am was love. 

Once again I took a gamble for love. Once again I had to leave due to fear of love. Sometimes the only thing we can do for those we love is to let them go. I lost nothing. Everything is here and now.

When asked if I'd do it again knowing the outcome. My answer is: yes, I'll do it again. I'll visit France again and again until love is no longer feared.

Follow your heart and gamble everything for love. Somewhere along the way you'll meet the essence of who you truly are. Fall in love, stay there and remember how powerful you are. Only in love you'll find true safety.

To be continued ... 


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A Love Spell: You May Try This At Home.

Perhaps the most underestimated element of love is its simplicity. Love enjoys simplicity, a kind ear, a gentle gesture, a pause, silence, and above all: commitment. Commitment to make it lasting, as well as to allow it to flow, to create true magic between two people. 

I believe that many relationships fail because people fall in the false perception that in order to make love work, one has to make grandiloquent gestures. It's true that everyone has a different perception of what love is, but perhaps we focus too often in forcing upon others a part of us that is not necessary; a part that's already seen and appreciated. Sometimes repetitive offerings may be suffocating. 

Making it louder doesn't mean that one loves more.

It is at this point that we may feel rejected and react or overreact. In every case and in every relationship it's a good idea to listen and to hear what the other person wants, to give them what they're looking for naturally. 

The paradox of love is that everyone wants to love and be loved, but at the same time it can be the most overwhelming force; something that not everyone is ready to receive.

This is too personal a blog post. For this reason I am going to omit many examples of what I want to convey here. To me this is sacred love and for this relationship to remain so, detials must remain private. I believe that the message will come through anyway. 

The episodes I'm prepared to share took place in France. We lived in a small apartment, where our remain was supposed to be temporary. For reasons that do not add any value to the story the stay was longer than it was supposed to be. Eventually this created an uncomfortable situation. However much she loved me and wanted me to remain, she was also in need to recover her personal space.  

One evening I asked her to ask me to stay. "Let's see what happens." I said. She remained silent for a few seconds. When she felt ready, she asked me to stay. When asking her how she felt, she admitted feeling good, in love and certain of what she asked. From then, the energy and connection between us kept growing and flowing. I must add that if she had not felt it truly in her heart, no words would have changed anything that night.

A few minutes later we kissed. This is the most beautiful kiss I've ever experienced. By asking me to remain, I felt accepted; wanted. The kiss was an exchange of energy so soft and so intense at once that she could feel it for the first time. A natural flow of energy similar to a current of electricity connecting two bodies. She asked me how I did it. I did nothing. It was one word, and it wasn't mine.

The following day she admitted to feeling great and having plenty of energy. At that point I only reminded her that it only took one word of love and acceptance to make the magic happen. I felt great too. In fact, we were both in bliss. In Love. 

No matter what life throw at us, this is a moment that remains sacred in time. An everlasting moment. A single moment in time that makes it worthwhile to have lived. 

Every week after midnight we left the house to deliver leaflets as part of her involvement as an animal activist. One of those nights in particular left an incredibly beautiful memory. We walked for a couple of hours in the rain in a winter night. Before that night I could have never imagined that a simple walk could create such beauty, magic and love. Looking back this is a moment that will always beat in my heart, and yet, given the details I'm sharing, one could argue that there was nothing that make the moment that special, though it was. Everything is in the experience. It was, however, an ode to love, created with the simplest of intentions. No expectations, just being. 

On a different occasion, when doubt created another veil of uncertainty and negatives, I asked her again to think of a positive thing about me and to tell me. Once she found a positive and she expressed it out loud, the feeling changed. That night I was called a witch. And yes, magic did happen again.

There are more details to the anecdotes that I'm sharing here today, but I don't believe they add up anything to the message. The intention of this writing is to inspire and encourage others to create their own magic, to focus on love and on those details that can make any relationship a wonderful place to be. Anyone can make magic. Anyone can love and be loved. 

To cast a 'spell' is as simple as setting an intention, and to make a commitment to the relationship. Do it with love and see life changing. Words can either create magic or bring us hell. How we use them determines where we're going next in life and in this case, within the relationship. Do it for love, in love and with love, without ulterior motives and see the relationship growing. 

Use your imagination, listen to what your partner has shared with you already, their desires and anxieties, and in their words you'll find the magical words to cast a beautiful spell. Forget about the futility of what you don't want and focus on what you both want.

Do feel free to cast such spells at home. It's safe and you might and keep falling in love with the same person again and again. 

This requires a constant commitment and the ability to make it work from the heart. Love is not something we can do with the mind. There's not a clever way to love. Do think about it, but do feel it too. At the beginning of a relationship, everyone sees good in others, but as our needs and expectations are not met, too soon we fall into a demanding trap of negatives. Keep seeking the positive, keep seeking love. Use your imagination. In love you'll find that it lies at the centre of your heart. 

I do realise that this might sound to simplistic in a world that has given in to cynicism and hardship. We've forgotten who and what we are. Who we are it's a simple as love; and love does love simplicity. Do try and see what happens.