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Shadow work: Taking Responsibility For Our Healing.


The following is a very effective tool for personal healing that anyone can use at convenience any time they wish. Everyone is responsible for their own healing. Having the support and direction of others might feel and it is in fact wonderful, but no one can heal for us. Too often we put too much emphasis on what others can do while overlooking what we can do ourselves. Feeling is an act of self-love.

This method is a simple as to feel every feeling and emotion that we face. Humanity as a group is unfeeling. Living in a society in which each individual has been led to believe and encouraged to compete with each other, giving priority to our individuality above all, feeling has become a human need widely ignored. And yet, everyone has feelings and suffers silently due to avoidance. Follow your intuition, trust the process and above all, trust yourself.

Allowing our feelings to run through is essential for our well-being. Every feeling has an energy and when suppressed, the energy continues in our bodies and will transform into a different feeling, usually one to which we are used to express without shame, as it is considered normal. In the majority of cases, the feeling most of us are comfortable to express is anger. Anger has somehow become an acceptable feeling, regardless of the consequences and the feelings that come next. Usually shame follows anger when expressed to others. It is also unfortunate that we feel so comfortable expressing anger in front of the people who love us most and often against them. 

Human beings are designed to feel. There is no shame in feeling. When someone has a reaction that it is considered excessive or over dramatic, the reason that lies underneath is the long term suppression of feeling. We have put too much emphasis on expanding the mind and the intellect with the belief that our minds alone will solve our problems, but as long as we hide feelings and emotions, the heart and the soul will continue pushing to come through and interfere with the most brilliant ideas one might have affecting also our behaviour.

An unfeeling heart will resort to distractions and self-harm in a wide array of practices which are considered normal: drinking, drugs, comfort food, over exercise, procrastination, casual sex, excessive use of the internet, video games, watching TV and a long list of distractions that each individual will practice according to their knowledge, experience and personality. 

By feeling we separate from what no longer serves us and begin to forget what keeps us trapped in our journey towards light and personal development. As we forget and stop these, in appearance, harmless practices, we begin to remember who we are. Feeling is the key to remember our true essence. 

This is a simple experiment that you can try at home at any time to give you a first hint towards the right direction. Choose any evening of the week to do this. Disconnect all gadgets, mobile phone, TV, radio, computer, etc. Make sure that you are alone in a room and don't allow any interruptions. Don't check your messages or reply to any of them. Just be and do nothing with it except feeling. If you use any of the above gadgets regularly, you will feel withdrawal symptoms very soon. While disconnecting from technology is not the answer, you will experience feelings that are hiding the reason why you need the use of such distractions in first instance. Disconnecting from technology is only an example.

Do the same with any feelings and emotions you have: sadness, jealousy, loneliness, anger, hate, etc, without taking any action, just feeling. By feeling you will release the energy of the feelings you have been holding in your body throughout life. The more you feel, the weaker the emotion will become. This is a long term practice, so don't expect to be healed from one day to the other. The emotion might return throughout life, but as you have taken responsibility and are used to deal with it, it will appear weaker and with little influence over your behaviour and natural response to situations that trigger such feelings and emotions. 

Don't over do it. This is not a 24/7 practice, but something you begin by doing for short periods of time when convenient, otherwise it could be overwhelming and lead to a new way of suffering and self-imposed torture. 

It is essential the you spend time alone to do this. You might choose to go for a long walk, but always alone and somewhere where you know you are not going to meet someone. Avoid all distractions as mentioned above. It does take courage to engage in this practice, but you already have more than you require within. You might not know this, as you have avoided feelings for years. Every feeling and emotion that is felt will make you stronger and will allow you to reconnect with the true expression of the soul. 

In order to heal, we have to take responsibility. In the end, you are the only one who can do it. No one else can feel for you. It is your choice and you can make this decision now. Give it time and be patient. It takes time. After a while, you will thank yourself for it. Don't forget to take care of yourself and have fun along with. I have highlighted other articles that might help you with this practice. Enjoy the process.

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. 

How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.

Tears Are Healing: This Is The Reason Why.


Everyone has shed tears at one point in their lives, especially as a child. As children, we have neither the experience, nor the knowledge to interpret most situations we go through. Generally, tears are associated with a bad experience; therefore it is not surprising that we avoid crying, as tears as a norm always come after a negative experience. Crying is not part of the negative experience, but the beginning of the healing process. This, of course, does not apply to tears of laughter. 

Crying is the body's natural resource to cope and eliminate the bad energies that we absorb from negative or stressful experiences. Everyone who remembers crying, must also remember the feeling of relief that comes after. As the general understanding is that crying is a sign of weakness or the admission that we cannot cope with the situation, most people try and avoid it at all cost, especially in public. Popular mythology says that boys don't cry and women are too emotional. Yet, one of the most powerful tools for healing we have as humans is crying. Avoiding it only makes us weaker. Not only it perpetuates the trauma, but it makes it stronger, deeper. 

Every situation we are exposed to has energy attached to it. Our response to these situations is what determines the influence that the experience has on each individual. We can resist it or go through it the best we can. Going through the experience without resistance does not mean that we accept the situation as truth, but that we do not allow the situation to have any influence on us. By accepting that this is the present moment and facing it as it is, we empower ourselves. The experience might be negative or positive, and all of them carry a message for us to learn, but what is important is that once the experience is over, we remain the same. The experience is not who we are, nor it is the energy that comes along with it. 

If the experience is negative, resisting it only increases the amount of negative energy that we absorb. When the experience is traumatic, the energy adds to the energy that we have already accumulated through life. In order to heal, we must find an outlet to expel bad energies in a healthy way. Buying into emotions such as anger and acting on it will only increase and strengthen negative energy. It's important to remember that this energy is depleting and limiting. 

Imagine that your body is a cloud, and the energy is the condensation that it is stored within. When the condensation and pressure are too much for the cloud to hold, it releases it in the form of rain. Negative energies act on the body in a similar way. Picture every negative experience you had in your life stored in your body. The more negativity you have gone through, the more negative energy is accumulated in your body. If the body does not find an outlet to release the energy, there will be a point in which it will react to it. 

Withholding these energies can lead to illness and could even be fatal in some cases. As energy is something that most people are not aware of, try and imagine it as tears filling your body, adding a sense of heaviness, lethargy or any other symptoms you may be experiencing. 

While the body is filled with these energy/tears, we are unable to feel our bodies and the emotions that are trapped within. This is the reason why we can go through life not really knowing what emotion we are driven by; the inability to feel and the disconnection from our bodies. In order to heal, we must reconnect with the body and feel every emotion that we hold within. And what is blocking this process, are the tears/energy we hold within. 

Now imagine that finding that outlet to release energies and driven by the pressure of circumstances you begin to cry hopelessly for hours. Your body keeps eliminating negative energies that are stopping you from achieving what you want. This is what is commonly known as energetic blocks. Let's say that you cry for hours, and while the situation that drove you to tears might still be unpleasant, the sensation in your body is different, lighter.

Three hours worth of tears will eliminate a great percentage of energy, allowing us to feel more of our body and emotions. In the healing process, one might cry for months, even years before the energy is released. It is essential that we cry when we feel like it. This is not something we can leave for later. 

Crying is understood and experienced differently according to gender. Men would do anything not to cry. Boys have been trained not to feel and definitely not to cry, whereas women are more prone to do so. The difference in both reactions are clear. By withholding tears, men are more inclined to feel strongest emotions, such as anger or hate. Everyone would agree that men are more aggressive and violent. Aggression and violence does not necessarily have to be expressed against others. The effect could easily be inwards. 

Women on the other hand cry more often. One can see a woman crying hopelessly one minute, to return to a cheerful and festive mood the next. This is because women find it easier to release such energies through tears. Once the energy is released through tears, we can go back to a more positive mood and act it out. In both cases there are exceptions. The immediate reaction is that a woman behaving like this is hysterical. It is not the woman who is hysterical, but the world we live in. 

I know through experience that during a long period of my life I could not feel any emotion other than anger. In my healing process I only reconnected with my body and emotions when I began crying, both in private and in public. And I did this shamelessly so. Without those tears, I would have never become who I am now. Due to circumstances I trained myself not to cry as a child, so as not to give others the pleasure to see that they got the best of me. The older I was, the angrier I became and none of the outlets I chose in order to cope with life were healthier, but detrimental to my spirit, my health and my life as a whole. During this period, there were moments in which I really wanted to cry, but the resistance I had built in didn't allow me to do so. 

Don't hold your tears and cry as much as you like, whenever you like. I wrote this before, and I will continue doing so until the message gets through. Everyone in this world needs to cry endlessly until we are healed from all traumas accumulated through centuries of existence. If everyone began to cry today and were not to stop until all the negative energy is out, we would wake up to a new dawn of light. Then, we would know what love really is.

There is no shame in crying. What is truly shameful is a society that does not allow a human being to cry or to feel their emotions. And that is a tool of control and repression. Cry, cry and cry. We all have reasons to do so. There are plenty of smiles hidden under those tears. And within, you will find endless reasons to smile.

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. 

How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.


The Problem With Trust: Why We Don't Trust And One Way To Fix It.


Trust or the general lack of trust humanity lives under is a very broad topic, and cannot be discussed in depth in one blog post only. It is a matter that goes too deep in everyone, and an entire book would be required to explain the causes, reasons why it happens, how it is affecting a person and how to restore it. However, there are fast and effective methods to achieve this aim; but only when someone is truly dedicated and persistent in tackling this problem. And it is a real problem with serious consequences to all. 

It is very easy to rely on our automatic instincts and distrust others, but this will never solve humanity's conflict with trust. While I am going to share a very effective method to regain trust in others and ourselves, I am also relying on the common sense of the reader to follow it cautiously, but also daringly. It is a simple method, but it is also one that could bring all our demons and fears to the surface, something for which one is not always prepared. It is not necessary to be prepared to take action, but as we live under this cloud of protectiveness, and we have created an array of defense mechanisms which clearly is not helping anyone, I find that a warning is appropriate. 

First, where does our lack of trust comes from? In my previous blog post 'Children: The Invisible Souls,' I already discussed one of the reasons why from a very early age everyone learns to distrust. To sum it up and not to repeat; as children we are invisible and voiceless. We are neither seen, nor heard. The situations we face at such a young age lead us to a place rather desolate that prevents personal expansion and expression. The messages we receive are so limiting and constricting that we adapt our behaviour to mold into a system that has already been created for us. You either fit in or you are an outcast. The truth is that going again the stream is the path to a colourful and extraordinary life. By following this learnt behaviour, we accept the fact that as an individual we are invisible, voiceless and that this is how life is. A learnt behaviour is not who you are no matter how many times you have been told. Listen to yourself.

In order to change, evolve and develop personally, we must challenge what we have learned and reconsider if the truth we live by makes us happy and accomplished human beings. If we ask ourselves this question, we know that we want to change, and even though we would like an improvement, we are short of ideas on how to get there. Society does not encourage change. Every day we have the right to be different and better than we were the day before. One of the reasons personal change does not occur is because any change we may go through would be shocking to the image that others have of us, hence we remain what others are expecting of us. These would be the people closest to you, parents, family and friends. As we change, people begin to look at us in different ways. Since the norm is to distrust anything that is different or stands out from the norm, any individual would struggle to set themselves free from these learnt patterns. It does take courage and being able to stand up to criticism from others. How do we change this then? 

You do have all the courage that is required to do so and this text is intended to give you a few reasons to tap into it. As children we encounter similar situations every day, causing devastating effects in self-confidence and self-trust. It is not only that we don't trust others. We don't trust ourselves. As we are told to keep quiet, behave, shut up and in far too many occasions fall victim of some sort of physical violence in order to keep us in line, we learn to 'behave', but we also learn to distrust our actions and intentions. When self-expression is repeatedly suppressed in a time in which we are supposed to be most expressive, self-doubt is inevitable. What we feel and want is prohibited and the love we profess for our parents and family create the false believe that we are wrong, creating a chain reaction that comes to effect when we see others doing something we are not used to. This is the moment in life which we begin to distrust, and it is directed inwards. By doing this, we continue inflicting on ourselves the same attitudes that we have learned from others. Yes, we do it to ourselves. We are just unaware of this fact. We may feel we are protected, but we are not. No one can get in and no one can get out. We are trapped.

Lack of trust is limiting in ways that most of us are unaware of. I halts freedom and personal expansion. This is an energy, very powerful, which keeps us from expressing who we really are and which forms a limited circle of action. For as long as we don't take chances to trust, no individual would ever be free. In a way, we are limiting ourselves. We don't want to hurt again, hence we choose what we believe to be the easy way and remain acting out within the limits of what we have always known. Trust lies beyond fear. We have to trust some of those things we fear if not all. In most cases, we stop one step before fear and never dare to enter it. To trust again, we have to go through it. Fear is not as scary as it might seem. 

Living within this comfort zone; hiding behind our protective barriers and never inviting new opportunities is the best way to stop life unfolding the magic and a wondrous path in front of you. Lack of trust is to say no to life. We are human and we are designed to feel. This is to feel both, the good and the bad. For as long as we refuse to feel, we will continue suffering. If lack of trust has helped you in any way to stop hurt and suffering coming in your life, do continue doing so, but if you'd like to come out and realise who you really know you are deep within, you are going to have to drop those defenses. And more than this.

Living in a constant lack of trust, subconsciously and not so subconsciously we have created an array of traps that we set around, not only to protect ourselves, but to challenge the loyalty of others. The more we distrust, the more dangerous these traps become and with them we hurt the people we love most. An example of this would be to leave a mobile phone unattended so our partners can read our mail. The reasoning behind is this, "if you really trusted me and knew who I really am, and how much I love you, you wouldn't need to check my mail. Now give me one reason why I should trust you ever again?" This is a staged attack and the majority of us know that they're going to fall for it and get caught. Our behaviour becomes ambiguous, so as to give others reasons to distrust, as well as giving us reasons to distrust them. Lack of trust is lack of love and self-love. 

It is at the same time looking for a way out from a situation, especially in romantic relationships. Let's imagine that the woman in this relationship looks at another man for just a bit longer than her boyfriend or husband considers appropriate. One second is usually one second too many. Why this woman is not allowed to look at whoever she pleases is due to the false sense of possession to which we feel entitled when in a relationship. The man then accuses the woman of looking around to see if she can get someone better. Jealousy. This man could even go further and accuse her of wanting to cheat. Where did this man get all this information from a one second glance? From his fears. 

A worst case scenario is when the man directly chooses to hit the woman. This is a very real situation. I heard many of these stories from many different women in my life. Accusations, distrust, violence are simply ways to avoid to deal with our fears and insecurities by not feeling. The longer we do this, the stronger our demons are going to grow and every time they appear. Demons will continue appearing more often and make us dance to their will until we become the demon. 

As I always say, if I have to pay for a crime I have not committed, I might as well go for it and do it. After all I have already paid the price by doing nothing, so why shouldn't I? It is very possible that both, man and woman are looking for a via to escape if only temporarily. One by pushing her away, the other by wanting to be pushed away. When we distrust others even before they do something we don't want them to do, in the majority of cases, they will do as we suspect, but not for the reasons we believe. We have created the opportunity with our lack of trust. 

In order to change this, we can stop such ambivalent behaviour and make ourselves vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a way to expand towards freedom. By being vulnerable I don't mean to jump on a suicidal mission in which we are going to be hurt deliberately by others. It is instead opening to new channels of communication and accepting reality as it is, beginning to experience feelings that are trapped in our bodies and that we have been avoiding for life. The reason this might be a difficult process is because these feelings are going to bring back memories that are filled with emotions. The effect is going to be uncomfortable or very uncomfortable. 

By allowing trust gradually, we will realise that all these ghosts we have distrusted for such a long time are not as menacing as we thought in first instance, but as we have never taken the time to experience such situations we don't know it. We begin by taking a small step at a time until we feel comfortable to take another way. The important part to consider in this process is that we must feel the emotion that opens up. Whether we face criticism or the same old restrictive behaviours, we must feel without acting. By feeling we release the energy that is stopping you from evolving. The more you feel, the less insignificant fear will be and our issues with trust will vanish eventually. 

Not reacting to fear also creates a new energy that turns into a new memory. A positive energy substitutes a negative energy. It's a win/win situation.

When it comes to change and personal transformation I have a firm conviction which I will keep repeating throughout. We might have feared when we where children, but we are no longer that child. Now we are adults. Allowing these fears and lack of trust only means that we give our inner child all the powers to control our life. All the issues we have with fear and trust go as deep as the inner child, but this is a topic for a different blog post.

I would recommend that you take small steps towards overcoming your fears with trust, but of course if you want to go wild, be my guest. The more you put into it, the more you get. And you only get results from the experience. As you can see, there are no steps to follow, which it should give you plenty of room for flexibility within your owns beliefs and way of living. You might make mistakes in the process. Do not regret it. Try again in a different way. Making mistakes is a natural part of life and we all make them. Do not give yourself a hard time either. Mistakes are nothing compared with what comes once your personal transformation has reached a healthy level; a life without fear in which you can openly trust. And once we trust, everything is possible.

Once you have taken several steps and offer your trust openly, if situations or people continue hurting you, these are signs of all the places where not to go. People who harm others do so because they live in fear. Fear does not trust. They believe they are protecting themselves, but they are not. Say goodbye with kindness and love and move on towards a life worth living. All you need is love, courage and trust. And you have these and everything else you need to accomplish it. As you open up towards the outside world, you will go in and find all those wonderful treasures you hold within. All it takes is one small step at a time. If you want to communicate effectively with others, it is time you begin to trust.

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My new book is now available on Kindle.

This book is a journey through the all the phases of heartbreak, exploring its unknown or unperceived origins, and how it affects a person throughout life, influencing thinking, behaviour, personal choices, relationships and in particular the hurt after separation. It offers a simple, practical healing method with practices easily adaptable to everyone's experience, taking the reader to the liberating moment of letting go. It is also an examination of the stage of being in love, and how by listening to the call of the soul, anyone could live in a permanent state of bliss. 


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How To Prevent Negative Energies From Affecting You: Transforming A Negative Into A Positive.


Every day I see numerous posts online in which people express the unfair treatment they receive from those to whom they have given their time unconditionally, opened their hearts and sometimes the doors to their homes. It is a sad reality, but one that we can change with time, love and patience.

There are two truths that we have to come to terms with. One, that our good deeds are not always reciprocated by those who benefit directly from our efforts. When this happens, the next step we should take is to let them go as soon as we can. 'Letting Go Of Toxic Relationships' is essential to have a healthy and happy life. Kindness is too often confused with weakness, and by keeping a firm position we show others that kindness is actually a sign of strength. 

Two, some people will never return the favour regardless of what we do for them. When this happens it is important that we do not allow it to get us down. People don't act this way because of their bad nature -in essence, we are all good-, but due to the fact that they might be trapped by a negative experience. They have yet to learn to trust, themselves and others, as well as to appreciate what is done for them. When circumstances add pressure to the healthy development of people, they tend to close down and adopt a selfish attitude born out of need. Give them the possibility to express themselves without the constrictions of normal life instead and you will see them shine. 

However, the growth of others should not be a burden to anyone, and after a certain period, the healthy step to take is to say goodbye. Their actions are in most cases unconscious, even if they affect us in a negative way. 

It is also the case that when people are trapped by a negative dynamic, they tend to sabotage the good deeds of others. In this case, their actions might or might not be unconscious. Whatever it is, it is better to concentrate on what you can do and ignore their actions no matter how harmful they might be. It is important that we go through the experience in a positive manner. 

Recently I have been affected by the actions of one and perhaps even more people. As a result, I have been blocked from sharing my blog post on Facebook with the exception of my personal profile and the two pages I have. I believe that anyone who has read my blog can see that the intention behind is to help and inspire others to create a better life for themselves and others. The actions of one can cause an incredible ripple effect that contributes to change the world as it is and make it what we all wish it to be.  

I am not the only one affected by this. There are other people writing and sharing blogs online that have received the same treatment from people and the social media vehicle I already mentioned. It's a sad truth to realise that Facebook does not check the nature of such blogs and does not offer the option to appeal their decision. Even sadder it is to realise that a place that was created to be sociable, punishes those who are most active of all. 

When I say that it has affected me and others, I want to make clear that this 'temporary ban' affects me only in the way that I allow it to. In my case, I do not allow it to affect me at all. First, there is nothing I can do to change the current circumstances. What I can do, and I am doing is to get even more creative than I have so far. Instead of dwelling on it or to ask questions why this, why that, what I am doing is to seek and find new platforms in which I can communicate with a larger audience. A proactive response to a problem dissolves it until there is no problem at all. 

When we are attacked in one way or the other, our response is essential to overcome the difficulties that might affect us. Personally I do not allow it to affect me. These barriers are put there to help us to expand and be more creative. I could either choose to sit down and give up on my work for two weeks or to find new ways to project my message to the world. My choice is obvious. Being creative is a way to honour our soul and in times of duress, using our creativity and imagination put a block of the negative energy of others.

When we choose to concentrate on what we can do, the empowering effect of our actions is almost immediately. The more energy we use to be creative and find other ways in which to achieve what we want, the closest we are to the true essence of our soul. And in this case, the soul is loving and forgiving. 

As someone is following a negative dynamic in their lives, their inability to expand in positive ways attract negative energies that take over who they really are. These energies are clearly exposed in acts of selfishness, envy or jealousy to name a few. What these people do not seem to be aware of is the fact that we all are very well protected by Divine beings that surround us. You might see them or not, but they are always there. 

This has two effects. The first and most important is that the energy from which their negative actions are built, bounce back and returns to them with a vengeance. It is what we call karma. And if someone wonders why their lives have been at such a poorly state, they should review their actions for the past few years and see what they have attracted and created for themselves. We are responsible for our actions and everything that happens in our lives. Causing harm to others might have an immediate effect on them, but the consequences of their actions are far greater than what they expected. To throw the stone and hide the hand does not work when the universal intelligence is watching. And it is always watching. 

We might be able to fool people for a while, even for years, but the result of our actions finally catch up with all of us. We can plant the seeds for the greater good, from which we will receive a generous reward in due time, or we can choose to make the lives of others miserable for as long as we can. In the end, the universe is always watching and listening. 

If you have been affected by the negative actions of others, whether intentionally or not, be patient. Concentrate on you creativity and cut the cord from those who have created the situation. Focus on what you can do and continue doing that. The more creative you are, the more you will expand and learn about your real abilities to create what you want in your life. Don't do to others what has been done to you. Trying to get back at them won't help. Revenge is more of the same energy. Let the Divine beings that protect you do their work. Ask for their assistance and they will work for you. 

When or if we seek revenge, we cut ourselves from the Divine or our true nature, disconnecting from the powerful energies that are here to help us. 

I understand that sometimes the actions of people are inexcusable and the immediate human reaction is to retaliate. Don't! Concentrate on what you can do to make your life better. The rest of what you need will come, but we need to be patient and wait for what we need to come.

The law of attraction is very clear on this, you reap what you sow. You can either act as the the warrior you are, tap into courage, or buy into the fear of others. One of the reasons why we are affected by negative actions is due to the fact that they are born from fear. Resorting to creativity and focusing on what other possibilities might be out there waiting for you acts as a shield, protecting you and returning the bad energy to those who created it initially. Let's conquer fear with the creative experience of the soul. Do this and see your life changing in ways you never imagined. 

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. 

How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.

How To Overcome Loneliness.


To understand and overcome loneliness, it is necessary to understand that everything in life is a paradox. Hence, to remove this feeling, we have to be alone. Let's also remove the drama from the equation. There is no need to become a recluse, a hermit or to go and live alone up in the mountains for the rest of our lives. Your marital status doesn't influence this process either. One can be single, married or in any other kind or relationship. We can share accommodation with others or live alone. It is about learning to be alone and just being. To do this, we do not need anyone else. 

It does take courage to face loneliness, but you already have more than enough within. It is only a matter of tapping into it. And you will only see it when you face it. The intention is to become comfortable being alone; to realise that we are enough as we are and that you are your best friend. One of the secrets to a happy life and towards enlightenment is to realise that the best relationship we can ever have is with ourselves. If we don't overcome the fear of being alone, we will never have a healthy relationship with anyone.

It is important that you find time to be completely alone. While loneliness is an uncomfortable feeling, being alone is not a disease. There might be a social stigma attached to it, but there is nothing wrong with it. It is a time we use to nurture and understand ourselves. 

This is a process which you should carry out in the way that best serves you. Be flexible and be creative. Feeling is the essential part. Sit for an hour or so alone doing nothing. Remove all distractions from your life during this period. No phones, TV, computers, reading or talking to anyone. You could either sit alone at home or go for a walk, but if you choose to do so, do go to places where you know you are not going to meet anyone and be interrupted. Don't sabotage your growth. Self-sabotage is something people are excellent at. If you have the opportunity, long walks in nature really help.

It is as simple as this; feeling loneliness. That is all it takes. When we feel, we release the energies of what there is inside at the moment. Loneliness like any other feeling we have is an energy trapped in our bodies, and it must be felt if we want to be release it. There are many benefits to feeling. The most important benefit is that for as long as we don't release it, the feeling will remain with us for the rest of our lives. Avoidance does not remove the feeling. It might be uncomfortable for a period, but eventually it brings a sense of relief and inner peace. And it does work. 

Whether you are single or in a relationship. The time we spend alone can also be productive. Single people have an advantage over the rest, as they have more time. Use this period to improve yourself in any way you can. This is when being creative and flexible is crucial. Go out alone and engage in activities that require your direct participation. 

Going alone to public places might be a strange experience at the beginning, but it does help. Sitting in a public place to drink a coffee alone might seem awkward to many, but the purpose is having coffee. No one else is going to drink that coffee for you, so what do you need the company for? It builds confidence, self-esteem and strengthens a sense of independence.

To meditate is one way to make this process a healthy and positive experience. Meditate every day. Meditation works for everyone. You might feel that it doesn't work for you at the beginning at give up on it, but it does work. The more you do it the more you will get from it. The purpose is to silence the mind. When you silence the mind you will hear all the answers that you need to know at the time. 

If you start mediation thinking that it's not going to work, it will not work. If I went to a job interview thinking that I will not get the job, it is very likely that I never get that job. Be patient. One of the reasons why we don't get what we want is because we want transformation to happen immediately. We have to allow time and space for this to happen. Pushing against time creates resistance. It does not bring what we want sooner. It has the opposite effect.

As long as you make sure that you spend a length of period alone in which you can feel, and this could be the time that it takes to walk from your home to the place you have chosen to go, you can meet with as many people as you like, join a course, a meet up group, etc. The possibilities are endless. The longer you spend alone, the greater the reward.

Exercise, do yoga, as it is particularly helpful in this process or do something else that you enjoy. Have fun in the process. If you are not having fun in your life, it's time to sit down and reconsider. Have fun! You owe it to yourself. Take a short holiday if you can afford it. Book a room somewhere in the country side and spend a couple of days with yourself. You might find what you want or you could meet someone special. Invest in yourself.

Clean you body of toxins if you feel like it. Having a healthy body allows a better expression of the soul, but this is something that has to be experienced.

Write a diary of this particular feeling and include any other feeling or realisation you may have. If you follow this process, you will have feelings, realisations, ideas and insights. It is a stage in your life to learn about yourself. Once you are familiar with the process, it is a tool that you have available for the rest of your life. Feeling doesn't end after a month. We feel throughout life. 

This process is very helpful after ending a relationship, which is usually the time when one feels more lonely. While finding someone else to fill the space that has been voided, the distractions we bring to our lives have the opposite effect to what we intend. It is a distraction from the self. Loneliness is here to teach us that we are disconnected from ourselves, and it is becoming endemic in a society that encourages all things personal and individual. If you were comfortable being alone, you will never feel lonely when a relationship ends. People come and go. The only one that remains throughout is you. Only you. 

Our individual contribution to the world has to be understood from the perspective that no one else can do what you can do. It should not make us feel lonely. Everything in society is aimed a creating separation and individuality. You might have a personal computer. Not to be confused with a loneliness computer. 

Do yourself a favour and don't broadcast to the world how lonely you are. When people do this, the only thing the achieve is to reinforce the energy. Instead of releasing it, it does grow. If you want to discuss how you feel, find someone you trust to talk about it. Many people share their feelings on social media. If loneliness is what you express, when or if you receive comments from others, loneliness is what comes back. Remember that there are many out there who will enjoy your pain and suffering. Not everyone is your friend.

Be creative with what you do best, and if you still don't know what this is, find it out in the process. Read 'The Spiritual CV'. It will help you to find the right direction. One can be creative with everything they do. Whether you choose to make a sandwich, write a poem or simply go for a walk, you can be creative. Make your walks an adventure. 

Finally, have fun; but I already said that. 

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. 

How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.


Learning To Be Alone: The Positive Step Towards A Healthy Relationship.


Loneliness is a feeling learned in childhood. Some of us learn to live with it, use the time we spend alone wisely, understanding that this is the way it is and overcome it. By accepting that we are born alone, live alone and die alone, we also learn to enjoy our own company; that we are enough. Enjoying our own company is a certain way to a happier life. Yet, most people rely on the company of others to avoid loneliness and boredom. It is a period in which we have an excellent opportunity to get to know ourselves. 

Depending on circumstances, one can feel lonely from the moment of birth, and it raises from the perception that there is not enough love around us. Somehow we are not fully welcome. There is no need for thought to reach this understanding; loneliness is a feeling. What we perceive and how we deal with it determines how we will act and react for the rest of our lives. Loneliness tells us that there is something missing. It is up to each of us to realise that what is missing is inside and not outside. 

Seeking the company of others is somewhat a natural way in which people believe it is possible to avoid feeling lonely. However, the feeling rarely goes away permanently. I have been advocating -not recommending or advising- the need to learn to be alone in some of my writings, particularly after a relationship. In 'Serial Dating: Loneliness As An Excuse To Love.', as well as in other blog posts, my view is that loneliness is responsible for most relationships. 

Some readers seem to interpret being alone as avoiding company or to refuse to begin a relationship when we fall in love with someone, but this is not what I am referring to. How people use their time when they are alone is open to their own interpretation. What it really means is that we spend the time we are alone in a way that is enjoyable to us. There are many ways in which one can use this time effectively. However, loneliness can obfuscate our thoughts and creativity.

There is a social stigma towards lonely people. Like every other feeling, loneliness is an energy. Its vibrations can be perceived by others, as the vibrations of being in love can be felt by anyone we come across with. At one point or another, we all have been affected by it. Loneliness is uncomfortable to others. It is not a pleasant vibration to feel, and when it is not ours, it is one we do not want near. The stigma comes when we recognise in others a familiar feeling that we do not have the courage to admit to. Therefore, even a person who goes to public places alone even if they don't feel lonely would make others feel uncomfortable. 

Loneliness is a low vibration, reason for which it is not advisable to begin a relationship when feeling it. At this stage we are only going to attract others with similar lower vibration. A low vibration does not prevent anyone to mix with others, and one can even fall in love with someone else and begin a relationship. From this moment, we only have to wait until the feeling returns, and it will. 

The excitement of a new relationship only covers up the feeling that we are trying to escape from. How ironic that so many people feel most lonely when in a relationship. As soon as loneliness hits back, one will do anything possible to escape it once again. We might find a substitute, a new partner, new friends, activities, anything that keeps us distracted from facing the reality. We feel lonely and refuse to face it. 

There is nothing wrong with feeling lonely. The feeling, however unpleasant, is there to show us what we have to work on. Avoidance does not make it go away. The first step towards changing it is to admit it. Then we must follow the necessary steps to move from loneliness to solitude, which is a much warmer feeling. The problem most of us face is that we keep looking for the answer in the wrong places. Everything in life is a paradox. In order to overcome loneliness we have to learn to be alone, enjoy our own company and see that we are enough as it is. 

As lonely is expressed energetically, there is also the possibility that others take advantage of our current situation. Not everyone we meet is kind, considerate and compassionate and if they can get a quick fix of any nature, they will. Not only this, they will do what it takes, lie or manipulate us in order to get what they want. We are vulnerable, open our hearts momentarily, trust others in hope of a healthy possibility to find the next day that we have been used and feel lonelier than ever. Of course, not everyone we meet will behave in such a way, but this a very frequent situation.

The situation one meets does not have to be a one to one. It could be in a group. Picture a group of friends going out for a drink in the evening where everybody ends drunk. I let you decide what the nature of their relationship is.

Spending time with someone else should be an enjoyable and healthy experience, not one that leaves residues of loneliness or worthlessness to name a couple. Loneliness can trigger desperate acts which can become addictive. Casual sex is a common occurrence among those who feel lonely. While sex is a healthy way in which to express ourselves, desperation can lead to very uncomfortable situations and can put us in the wrong place and even in dangerous situations. Sometimes it is best to walk back home alone and wait for a better, healthier occasion. 

The morning after can come with feelings that make us feel even worse than we felt the day before. We might not even be aware why we feel this way. There is not love for once. What happens is that to our low vibrational feelings we have added the low vibrations of others. If the other person disappears, feelings of abandonment might resurface. There are innumerable possibilities and occurrences in social interactions and not all can be considered in this text, although it is worth mentioning alcohol; another low vibrational originator. Let's mix loneliness, abandonment and alcohol together, and we have a potent cocktail of worthlessness and can lead to depression and take us to a very dark period in our lives.

Some people lead a promiscuous life due to an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Sex is an excellent practice to cover up any feeling, but the effect does not last long. The problem in this case is that the more we act it, the more we are going to feel it. Instead of fixing the problem, we make it worse. There are serious consequences to unhealthy sexual habits, but this is a topic for a completely different blog post. We can believe for as long as we like that promiscuity is an enjoyable way of living, but most people are not aware of the hidden facts and the negative energies that we might absorb with it.

I have received numerous requests asking how to overcome loneliness. In the next blog post I will give practical steps to overcome loneliness and learn to be alone. It can be a very healthy, creative and self-revealing period. Any negative feeling or emotion can be transcended. For now, accept that this is they way it is right now and make a conscious decision that you are willing to learn to be alone and enjoy the experience. Being alone does not mean we cannot have fun.

To make the period in which we are alone, we also have to learn to love ourselves or at least take positives steps towards it. If you are interested you can find numerous blog posts in this link.

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. 

How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.

I Am In Love: What Does It Mean?


I write with the laughter of forgotten children around me ... 

interesting that ...

someone has been watching Me ...
.... climbing on my wall ...
She saw only what she wanted to see...

... Narcissus never saw anything at all ....
they don't understand .... I am not going to explain ...

the Twin Sisters came to play with me
Synchronicity and Serendipity asked me to inspire them all ...
and we played and played and played ...
of their own accord They created a beautiful Film ...
they arrived with childish game ...
and played a charming trick on Me ...
I played with Courage and flagged it for the world to see
IN CAPITAL LETTERS ...

... but nothing is what it seems ...

... I hear the laughter of children within ...

.... produced by the love of many ...
the touch of so many beautiful souls ...

and I joined in with the laughter of the invisible children ...

I forgot Her .... Nothing is what it seems ....
I Am with the Goddess now ...
We honour you ... the Wild Woman ... 
and We will always be with You ...
but...

I Let It Be ... I Let Her Go ...
and I Am Free ... now .... I Am Safe .... Here

I Am In Love ... what does it mean?

There's a Brooke that pours Love over Me
ascending by the most beautiful Hill .... 
a fresh, wild essence ... the waves in the sea ...
.... the wind on the sails ...
the curl among the branches of trees ... 

I Am In Love ...
no one seems to know what it means ...
and I don't need anyone to know ... to see ....
for as I found myself ... I lost fear ... desire ... all need ...
Now I see it all .... I have them all ...
the laughter of reborn children ....

I forgot Her ... but I still have to deliver Her my Gift ...
The Goddess asked and I agreed ....
for only when Narcissus departs...
She will be In Love ... She will be Free ...
... only then She will understand and She will see ...
That it was always there ... and it was Home ...
... the most beautiful words one has ever spoken ...

I Am In Love ... what does it mean .....? 

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. 

How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.

Serial Dating: Loneliness As An Excuse To Love.


A reader recently asked me a question regarding her relationship. As she is not happy with her current partner, she was considering to stay with him until someone else appears. This is not a question that I will answer, as it is a very personal decision, and one which I believe she already knows the answer to. Seeking advice or validation from others in such matters is one way to avoid responsibility for our actions. However, this is a question that affects many people and harms even more daily.

In order to find true love, there are several steps we can take. Even though there is not a magical formula to find love, we can lead a life that increases the possibilities of finding it. In 'Calling In The One: In The Quest Of Love' . There might not be only one way to find love with another person, but certainly there are ways in which we can remove the obstacles that we alone create, preventing us from finding it. In the blog post I mentioned above you can find elements that will take you a few steps closer to love. There is only love and once you believe in this statement, nothing can block it from coming your way. The universe is listening. The answer is in your message and how you voice it. 

The topic today is chain dating. The serial dater is a person who begins a relationship with someone else before they finish the current one, thus, interconnecting the energies of at least three people in the narrative of the story. These are people who are in desperate need of love and whose only solution lies in being in a relationship. They don't need love more than others. It is the false belief in the idea that in order to be complete, we need someone else. As we cannot find the feeling of completeness within, we try and find it with somebody else, if only for a while. The partner they are with might be important, but what matters above all is the relationship, making the other person rather irrelevant.

The chain dater uses a relationship in order to avoid loneliness, not knowing that a relationship is not the antidote to it. They don't necessarily have to be with the other person 24/7, but they do rely on the status and the relationship to feel complete; to gain a sense of worth. When someone is driven by this need, having a partner is essential, even though their partner not might be as essential as it appears to be. For these people changing partners is fairly easy, as well as very insulting to the one who is left behind, and to themselves. 

The intention of this writing is not to judge, but to create awareness, as at one point in our lives we might come across with one of these individuals, or perhaps we are one of them already. Ending the relationship to move to another one immediately comes unavoidably with feelings of guilt and/or shame, but as they found a new clouded reality in which the sense of love seems true, these feelings remain buried deep within. 

The paradox here is that by falling in love, they avoid experiencing the true feelings that would allow self-love and healing to take place.

Let's remember that our behaviour and actions, however wrong they might seem to others, are only a vehicle to know ourselves, therefore, neither criticism, nor judgment help to find solutions. Awareness does. Everyone wants to love and be loved and we all use different ways to express it and search for it.

They are also addicted to falling in love. It is this feeling; falling in love that ultimately controls their lives. Falling in love acts as a narcotic that temporarily soothes the urges of the ego. Ego has the relationship mapped out and survives under the false idea of control.
Adrenaline and excitement create the addiction, but as these are feelings difficult to maintain for long periods, they will jump in someone else's arms at the first sign of dissatisfaction. Paradoxically, they are the people who need to be alone for longer periods and stay away from relationships. The only way to overcome loneliness is by learning to be alone, learning to love ourselves and realise that they already are worthy of love. 

Being alone between relationships is essential to learn more about ourselves. It is the time when we are not defined by others and we have the necessary freedom to explore ourselves, recollect our thoughts, experiences and feelings, so as to improve our lives and enter the next relationship in a healthier state.

When we interconnect relationships, beginning one as the other ends, the repercussions are greater than we might believe. At this stage we don't have any certainty about our true feelings. The feeling of falling in love might feel real, but it is a selfish need for love and it is nor real. They do not hesitate to leave someone or to make them suffer, often without warning and in the name of love. Love, contrary to popular believe, does not harm.

When a relationship ends, it is very important to go through an indefinite period of time to let go of the other person. Without letting go, a healthy relationship with someone else is simply not possible. The fact that we separate from the physical person does not mean that the relationship is over. Feelings, habits, behaviour and energy remain. The impact that a relationship can have on someone's life sometimes can linger for a lifetime if we don't let go. 

Moving from relationship to relationship as one could move from one hotel room to another will only leave a sense of emptiness. The hotel room is empty until we enter it. People come and go. The notion that someone else is there for a while, fills the room temporarily. The only room where we can find love and inner peace is in the space we create within. The initial excitement that appears in a new relationship could hide this feeling, even though it is always within and it will be triggered at some point by a situation that recreates such feeling. When it appears, it is time to move on and find someone else to fall in love.

The serial dater is very likely to return to a previous partner if their current relationship is unsuccessful, but for one reason only: they have not met anyone else yet. They don't move at random. Their approach would be calculated, so as to have a safety net. As long as they are in a relationship, they feel safe. It is also very possible that they leave the same person again when they meet someone new whom they might believe will remove the sense of loneliness, their lack of self-worth and self-esteem. Old flames rarely offer a new passion or a new feeling, but the comfort of familiarity and the illusion of security.

If your partner has abandoned you in such an untimely fashion, do know that their decision has nothing to do with you, but with their insecurities and fears. Don't blame yourself for it and stop asking questions that don't have an answer. You will never find out what the answer is. Accept the situation as it is, let go, move on, wish them well and say farewell. In time you will realise that their decision benefits you. They are in love with the idea of being in love, and while they don't find what they look for within, they will try and find it with another person. Your ex-partner cannot provide an answer either. They act through impulse because they have not yet understood themselves.

Being in love is what and who we naturally are; the chain dater is only trying to find a way to go back to this feeling, to return home. The fact that they are looking for it in the wrong places does not make anyone wrong. The consequences of their actions might cause us pain, suffering and heartbreak, but they are not more lost than we might be. The fact we start a relationship with someone who will eventually abandon us, should serve as an indication that we are not yet ready to accept love fully.

There is a positive to this situation, even though the first impression might be interpreted as harmful and selfish. The positive part has to be understood from the perspective that heartbreak is necessary in order to heal. Subconsciously we choose to fall in love with someone who will break our hearts. The secret of healing lies in the way we go through heartbreak. We can either feel it from beginning to end or we can indulge in pain and suffering feeling sorry for ourselves. 

Heartbreak has to be felt, so as to turn it into a healthy experience that works in our favour by means of healing. Resisting heartbreak will only reproduce heartbreak in the future again and again. Feeling heartbreak helps to release the energies that create it in the first place. It is a long and painful process, but it is also beautiful to go through it; to learn its essence and healing qualities. 

There is a widely spread misunderstanding about heartbreak. Heartbreak is the door to letting go and to enlightenment. As it requires a long text, I must leave it here now, but I will reveal in which can be understood, so as to open our experience to a new dimension in which we can find love, self-love and inner peace.

The hope for the chain dater lies in the awareness that should come from the experience of several failed relationships in which they cannot find what they are looking for. Too often we blame others for the failure of previous relationships. The truth is that we all follow a pattern in relationships. When they don't work, the healthiest steps we can take are to take responsibility and consider and reconsider what we might be doing wrong. Finding fault in others will never show us what we need to know.

The more hearts we break in our quest of love, the more painful our heartbreak will be. No one is exempt from heartbreak. The chain dater is a person whose heart is broken, only that they don't know and they don't remember. And let's think of this, what is done to us, we do to others, whether we are aware of it or not.

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The following blog post provides a useful tool to a life changing experience, and new beginnings. 

How A Spiritual Reading Can Transform Your Life Immediately.

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If loneliness is an emotion that you're going through right now and stopping you from growing, you might want to read these two blogs and consider taking healthy steps:

Learning To Be Alone: The Positive Step Towards A Healthy Relationship.

How To Overcome Loneliness.