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The Divine Masculine: Embracing Masculinity.


The energy of the Divine Masculine has been suppressed for centuries. While it is a fact that men have dominated society under the shadow of one male God, it is also true that such dominance has been projected from an understanding of aggression, entitlement, a false sense of moral superiority and violence. Patriarchy was founded on the negative and destructive parts of masculinity, to later on be encouraged. The prevalence of patriarchy and one divine figure caused to create a narrative that excluded the positive traits of masculinity, as well as suppressing the qualities of the Divine Feminine

With the emergence of feminism, especially by the late 60's, all things masculine have been condemned. In real terms, men seem to be guilty by default. In modern times men are encouraged to explore their feelings, emotions and their feminine side, but little is being said about embracing the true essence of masculinity, which is as necessary in order to balance the energies within. 


The Divine Masculine is not exclusive of men, women also must embrace their masculine side. The imbalance that currently sweeps the world has caused to adopt the most aggressive qualities, which women are also adopting to cope and survive in such a competitive society. While awareness of the origins or consequences of the imbalance is a stop forward in the process of restoration, one must also know that this energy is instilled in the collective consciousness and the collective psyche. In order to change the dynamic one has to focus on the solution, not the problem.

As children, men were taught to be detached from everything, and everything, thus separating from emotions. Being unable to feel and express feelings, men separated from their spirituality and their higher self, becoming intolerant and inflexible. Such detachment is detrimental, as men are taught to live within an impenetrable, in appearance, shell. While these protective walls serve the purpose during a period of our lives, so as to survive, it also stops one's true essence from manifesting and expanding, resulting in the void of love. The heart closes and the child never develops.

Being in touch with feelings and emotions, must not be confused with weeping or being over sentimental. It is a matter of allowing vulnerability and regain essential parts to connect with the higher self. The positive effects of this reconnection are clear when transitioning from boyhood to manhood, as a man must get in touch with the Divine Child before he becomes a warrior. This will be explained in more detail in a different blog post.

There's an incredible amount of strength in vulnerability. The absence or loss of spirituality in men, as well as the social pressure to conform to a system that no longer serves anyone, is making men, weak and irresponsible, and unable to cope in an ever demanding society.

Embracing the Divine Masculine allows men to get in touch with their spirituality, connect to the higher self and follow its guidance. Getting in touch with the Divine Masculine requires the study, as well as experiencing the mature energies of masculinity or the mature archetypes of the masculine: The King, The Magician, The Warrior and The Lover. 

It is also recommended to study the unhealthy or Boyhood Archetypes, which can be found in the book 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover,' by Robert Moore and David Gillette

Embracing the Divine Masculine is a rite of passage from childhood to manhood. Age does not define a man. Under the shadow of patriarchal society, it's not only women, but also men who suffered the consequences of a controlling and divisive ruling establishment. 

As one advances through the different stages of masculinity until balance and embodiment is achieved, men can also expect to gain knowledge and perspective on intimacy. Intimacy being currenly something we seek through others, while it is an aspect that we must explore within and by ourselves.

The Divine Masculine is linked to direction and movement, transformation and growth. Men are essential to support the emergence of the Divine Feminine, the restoration of the Divine Feminine, so as to establish the necessary balance that allows the blossoming of a new world, that provides for the needs and wants of every living being. To support this energetic movement, men do not have to renounce to masculinity, but to reach its maturity and embodiment. 

The Divine masculine is also associated with responsibility, strength, intellect, brilliance, power, generosity, fatherhood, encouragement, material abundance, clarity and respect.

The study, experiencing and embodiment of the Divine Masculine allows men to restore the natural and calm confidence everyone is born with. Those who are interested in understanding and working with energies can also study the Native American Spirit, as it embraces all such qualities. It is an energy which is still vibrant and offers a more recent example of the Divine Masculine in an environment not yet subdued to the tyranny of patriarchy.

Once studied and explored, the Divine Masculine must take action from a place of inner peace, a healthy state and mature approach. Although the terms used are familiar, such as inner peace or mature, by immersing oneself in the journey of the Divine Masculine there will be paradigm shifts that will give a different meaning to the ones we're used to. 

In a separate blog post I'll provide practical ways in which one can reconnect with the Divine Masculine. For now, get excited about the idea that your contribution is essential to the transformation of the world, and that all it is required is to start or continue in the fascinating journey of the Divine Masculine to see a world with eyes that we have never known, in a brand new state of consciousness.

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Balancing energies: Restoring male energy and raising female energy.

Taking Stock Of Your Last Relationship.



No relationship is a waste of time. Every relationship provides a wonderful space to experience and learn to love again. The kind of love experienced is determined by the type of partner chosen. Experience is necessary for growth, even if in the aftermath one wishes they had never started. Each relationship is a journey of self-discovery and self-realisation. A relationship is a mirror reflecting lights and shadows -love or fear-, showing where one needs to grow. If you loved and were loved, even if ony for a short period, it was a positive experience. Find the hidden treasures from the experience.

As the relationship doesn´t consolidate people tend to overlook the significance and the impact that it had in their lives. When it ends we rarely congratulates ourselves for a job well done. The end of a relationship can be heartbreaking, and it is in most cases.  A break up could be so disheartening that hurt may turn into a haze in which one can´t neither see, nor feel love. In certain cases lasting a lifetime. Not all is lost. Not even when the relationship ends.

When hurt hits home, we tend to overlook the positive aspects of a recent experience. The often inevitable attachment to another person, focusing on the figure of the ´One That Got Away´ might deplete an individual of their vital energy, body coordination and sometimes the will to live. However sad or heartbreaking the experience has been, there are always reasons to celebrate who we are, what has been accomplished, or how we can use it to create a much more fulfilling relationship in the future. 

A period of recovery is necessary when a relationship ends, so as to rest, reflect and truly take care of ourselves. Jumping straight away into another, obfuscates perception, not allowing to reflect upon the recent experience, as well as showing that what they´re looking for is not love, but something else. It´s a desperate attempt to escape forward, not to see; not to feel. It´s not possible to love with a broken heart. 

It´s the ideal time to examine and re-examine the relationship, gathering the positive aspects of what one has brought into it, so as realise how beneficial it was; to see that not all is lost. Instead of looking at what went wrong, let's look at what you did right.

The relationship that just ended would have never been possible without you. Know this fact and own it. The magical moments that you experienced with your lover would have never taken place without you. However difficult it might be to live without it, the elements of magic remain. He or she will never be able to experience neither love, nor the same dynamic without you. This is something that both partners need to know and understand, but what matters now is you.

There's no magic formula in relationships. Every person responds differently. He or she might be looking for you in every other man or woman they meet in the future. This is an important element to have in mind and that will be treated in a future blog post.

No relationship can be equal to another. Nothing of what´s experienced with that one person can be repeated with anyone else. Neither the feeling, nor the multiple situations shared between you and your partner. However, your contribution to it, as well as the ability to recreate similar situations remains with you. That's your power. Don't look down on it, nor dismiss it. These are the aspects that we tend to overlook, but also the ones that one can use to rebuild themselves. 

Don't wait until all is lost.

Throughout the relationship there are moments that only you can make truly special. Pay attention to what you create as you go along. Write the experience down if necessary. It's always a good idea to write a diary. Pay attention to what you say and do, as this is key to what you want. 

It's not easy to describe the feelings and emotions that are created in these situations. Make it simple. As simple as writing 'love'. You may want to expand on the feeling by writing down what happened next: the space where you are, the situation that's been created, the interaction, what your partner says at the time; how they respond to you, the love you're receiving.

Unfortunately, most people tend to overlook or dismiss these important elements, giving special attention to how their partners respond to them instead. Remember that none of this would take place if you weren't or had not been there. 

From separation to love. 

If at the moment you're under the spell of abandonment or rejection, what I'd like to illustrate looks like this. All relationships have their breaking points. Sometimes it seems easier to find a different partner than to work things out. This line of thought is a modern plague. People leave relationships from one day to another. It's possible that people don't have the resources to work things out, find solutions. In most cases running away from relationships is not the answer, as it gets worse. People left their homework undone during school, as they leave it undone in relationships. There's always the illusion that we can do better; but it's only an illusion until we don't meet ourselves and take responsibility for who and what we are.

What you have to look at is those moments in which your participation made a difference, creating a unforgettable sense of togetherness. All relationships are filled with these moments; moments in which separation seems impossible. What you did to create that space cannot be overlooked. You said something that touched their hearts and souls. 

Sometimes it's a simple as a "good morning, beautiful", first thing in the morning. What's the feeling, the expression in their faces and their eyes, what they do next. Look at the smile, and feel what you did with one short sentence. Often we can say I love you without saying those specific words. 

Last summer I was in Holland Park in London with my girlfriend. It was a hot and sunny summer day. As I had ran out of water I was considering to buy a bottle. At the time I had left a community and cash flow was not at its best, although I was not short either. "How can you be thinking of buying water being poor?" she said. I smiled and said: "How can you say I'm poor? I'm with you. I'm the richest man alive." The expression in her face, the look in her eyes, her shinning smile or her body expression is something that only I experienced and will never forget. 

Within seconds we also found a public fountain and refilled the bottle. 

Every experience creates a memory. The energy of the experience remains in the body. That memory remains with her, as it remains with me. It belongs to us, and no one else. Two weeks later I moved to France with enough money in my pocket. What makes a difference in this case is the response to the stimulus. Being called "poor" -a term I don't identify with- could have provoked a negative reaction from me that could have ruined the moment, and perhaps the rest of the day. 

While in a relationship, we can speak with the mind or with the heart. It's  a choice.

Everyone has the ability to transform a negative into a positive. The truth that we accept from others usually becomes our truth when we allow ourselves to believe it. If it's not your truth, don't buy into it. A loving relationship is a bottomless trunk full of magical treasures. Every moment is an opportunity to show the alchemist within. 

What is your contribution?

Whether you're a in a relationship or it just ended, you have created similar situations to the ones described above. Learn how to read what your partner says. Within every conversation anyone can find sentences that are 'highlighted'; expressions that sound and resonate with a different energy. What did you partner told you or is telling you now. It's a matter of listening if a different way. Just listening. Then, to act accordingly.

Your partner is telling you why he or she want to be with you. Perhaps is the way you're treating them, the things you say, what you do. 

If the relationship has ended, revisit the memories of those moments that made a difference, cherish and embrace them. Congratulate yourself for it. Cry your heart out if you have to. Tears are healing. This is a simple exercise, but it requires your attention and energy. 

There is no reason why you can't keep a healthy and flowing energy that connects with that relationship, which in turn helps to reconnect with love; your true essence.

This exercise requires practice. It's possible that you don't get the feeling that you're looking for at the first attempt. Don't give up. Use empowering words, not the ones that reflect rejection or a feeling that you're missing someone. The person that you're missing right now is you. The reason for this is that the feeling and emotion of love, usually associated with another person is projected on the absence of an ex-lover. Write, write and write. This is an exercise to play with. Use your imagination in loving and productive ways. 

Focus on the positive aspects and remember more of them, but don't project your energy on the other person. Concentrate on the feeling and the emotion of love within you. How it made you feel, as you're the creator of such feelings. Embrace the creator in you, and apply it to your daily life. Use the same 'method' to recreate similar moments in whichever emotional state you are now. 

Nothing is lost. Everything is now and here. It's only that you might be giving all your attention to the feeling of loss. The magic, as well as the ability to create more moments like this are still within you. You owe it to your yourself. 

Keeping the energy flowing after the relationship can open the door to multiple realities, but two of them in particular that could make a significant difference. One, it could act as an irresistible magnet causing the return of your lover. The other, to feed the feeling or rejection or abandonment. It's your choice. Never give up on love.

You might also want to read, 'A love spell', as it closely relates to this subject. It's amazing what we can create with words and actions. We're just not paying attention. Bring back to live those moments, remember them as they were, relive them and realise that you're the richest person alive. Nothing is lost. Everything is now and here.

Why Men Shouldn't Fear Strong, Intelligent And Successful Women.



There are numerous articles claiming that men are afraid of strong, intelligent women. This is partly true, as not all men are fearful of this type of woman. It seems, however, to be a majority. The value of such articles is to create awareness. Once awareness has been raised, it is possible to move towards the solution through understanding. 

The problem we face today, is an energy that has been flowing through society for centuries, establishing a set of false beliefs, separation, the supremacy of men over women and all living creatures promoted by the archaic values of a patriarchal society, which is tumbling on its foundations. These values and beliefs also contributed to men to adopt a series of attitudes and behaviours that helped to eclipse the beautiful expression of the divine masculine, as well as suffocating the divine feminine. Thus far, humanity has been living in shadows. How intelligent is that!

Fearing strong and intelligent women is nothing but a trapped energy in men. It is also an unconscious response. In order to change the perception when interacting with this type of woman, we must challenge the beliefs we hold on masculinity. From an early age, men are educated to be more of everything, and more than everyone. The competition is not only with women, it is also with other men. Setting such high standards serves to create anxiety when meeting our own limits, as well as separation and loneliness. It is a man against the world. 

The future of humanity is cooperation with both men and women, and a renewed education system that teaches children to be human beings and live in peace and equality.

When a woman is strong and intelligent, she is likely to be confident about her attributes and capabilities. It is no wonder that in the competitive society we live in, women also feel the need to overpower others, including men, resulting in a type of behaviour that in appearance might feel threatening. It is not. Instead is the assertiveness of the own self. 

Intelligence is sexy. 
                    Learn to dance to its rhythm.

An intelligent woman will know when to listen and when to talk. This is an advantage, as in the relationships between men and women, women are prone to interrupt, now allowing the interaction to flow. It's not a matter of intelligence, but the urge to be heard. If she's intelligent, she will allow the necessary spaces and tempos for a man to expand his conversation, feelings and desires. These are signs of interest in open and deep conversations and interactions. The relationship could vary in nature, and whether this is romantic, friendship or professional, an intelligent woman would act accordingly. 

She will also find the strengths and natural abilities in a man, so as to help him to grow and improve. A woman can help a man to build an empire. The more intelligent she is, the more persistent she will be. Women naturally seek cooperation. If she's gifted with a higher intelligence, she will use it to create. Intelligence is like water for growth.

Intelligence is a positive trait, not a weapon.

Anyone using intelligence to destroy anyone, whether this is a man or a woman, might not be as intelligent as they thought or perhaps do not understand the nature, value or use of intelligence. 

More intelligence in most cases means more knowledge, and more resources to face and resolve situations. If she's strong, she will share that knowledge and encourage a man to use it for his own benefit. Knowledge only has power when it's shared.

Conversations with her are also likely to be varied and colourful, perhaps exploring the roots of the issue discussed, so as to reach a deeper understanding, and a colourful expression. An intelligent woman will find the way to convey a message, and explain a subject matter without the need to feel less intelligent or less educated. It's only the weak who prey on the weak. 

The fact that she's intelligent 
                                   does not make her a threat.

She is a human being. She has a heart and a soul, like everyone else. It makes her sensitive to certain triggers and situations, as it happens with every individual. What she wants more than anything is love. Intelligence does not make her an exception. Intelligence makes a woman more perceptive. This only would represent a problem when a man's intentions are not good. If a man is hiding secrets or leading a life that forces him to hide information from others, intelligence does not make any difference. Women always know. 

Intelligence might be an intrinsic part of her, but that's not all there is to her. She has other parts, and it is for a man to find out and unveil the mystery of her soul.

If she's successful, she will use her resources to encourage, help and support a man to reach success. In this sense, women are more generous and do not fear competition as much as we men do. There could be, of course, exceptional cases in a professional environment in which a woman has to compete with men and other women. Such is society these days, but this fact cannot and shouldn't be used against her. We use what we have, to get what we want and need. 

Women make sacrifices, men do not know of.

In a relationship, all these qualities can contribute to improve it, as communication with an intelligent woman tends to flow towards openness. Like everyone else, she will have her most beautiful place within, her sensitivities and anxieties, but overall, she will use her abilities to make it grow. Women have not been educated to be above men, therefore, she will be willing to help a man to expand and grow in every aspect that is required. 

Intelligence is a tool of service, to the self first, then to others. At some point the nurturing part will open and you'll feel embraced. 

It is important for a man to consider that meeting or interacting with an intelligent woman is not a contest. Challenging old beliefs and shifting our perception about what we have been told and taught to be can only open to possibilities of integration, love, equality and unity. The role of men and the divine masculine is to support the balance of energies, so as to allow the divine feminine to emerge towards the creation of the new earth. Some women would be more intelligent, some would be less. On this they're not different than men. 

Intelligence is overrated.

Perhaps the essential part to realise is that intelligence, like every other aspect of the human condition is something that we have to transcend. We're all too serious about life. We're nothing but children playing adulthood and growing deeper frowns and frustrations because we don't understand it and don't know how to play the game. An intelligent woman would know how to do that. She also has her flaws, and she knows about it. 

Maybe fear presents itself in these situations because a man feels that he won't be able to overpower such woman, as tradition dictates. We men seriously have to question the values and beliefs that have been imposed on us, and allow the natural abilities in others to flow, so as to create a new world. We all play a different part, and only together we will get to a stage in which we're all thrive in peace and love. 

An interaction with a strong and intelligent woman is an excellent opportunity for a man to explore his vulnerabilities, feelings and emotions. This is something that we have been trained to avoid and which is essential for a man to work on, if he ever wants to find inner peace. We don't always have to be strong. Once feelings are allowed to flow, a woman is more receptive. At this point, intelligence will play its part in putting together all the necessary tools for understanding, nurturing and healing.

Intelligence is not an attribute exclusive to men.

And if there's anything men fear, this is women altogether. Intelligence is only a trait, but one that allows a man to test his own limitations, to engage in a process of learning and to grow personally. The first day at school we didn't know what we know now. This is the same.

Intelligent or not, the way to reach a woman is through her heart and her soul. And maybe, only maybe, perhaps we're afraid of showing ours. Think about that. 

It's interesting that most women fear men due to rape, violence or death, and that we allow ourselves to be intimidated by an IQ number. It really is time that we men begin to reconsider what we think we know. Let's give ourselves a break. We don't have to know everything.

Understanding And Overcoming Physical, Psychological And Emotional Abuse.



To understand and forgive behaviour like the ones that inflict physical, psychological and emotional abuse on others, especially when directed   to children, it is necessary to change the perception that was shaped in the mind during the period in which took place, as well as being able to, somehow rationalise such actions from the other's point of view. There can be understanding and forgiveness without making excuses for others. Making excuses for others only serves to validate the same behaviour, which in turn allows it to continue. 

Forgiveness is possible. Understanding comes first.

Abuse in all three forms described in above appeared in my life at the age of six. For the next ten years, I wouldn't go a day without some kind of abuse. First came physical, followed by emotional and psychological abuse, although not necessarily in this order. Abuse often came for no reason, other than my parents' frustrations. It was a daily battle, and one that I lost and won every day. The reasons didn't make any difference either. It didn't matter whether I broke something by accident or misbehaved. The punishment was always a beating. I was even abused, -again, in any way they could,- for having no appetite. Trying to reason or explain that I was not hungry didn't help. It made it worse. 

It was mostly my father, whom day after day hit me as many times as he deemed appropriate, both in public and in private. Public humiliation was often on the menu. Eventually punishment came without thought. I was even punished for the actions of my siblings. I could go on with details and fill an entire book with all memories I have from all the episodes. I have forgiven, but I have not forgotten.

My father often threatened me with sending me to a youth correctional. Something that at the time I didn't know he couldn't do. No wonder that ever since one of my biggest fears has been prison. I lost count of the times I was told I would never do anything with my life.

One day in my early twenties he made the mistake to threatened my younger brother with a correctional in front of me. By that time I was no longer a mouth that wouldn't shut up. I was in fact a menace to anyone standing in my way. I don't believe there have been any threats since.

The positive part of this is that my ultimate goal is freedom. My freedom and the freedom of everyone else. 

This is how I learned fear. 

I was not an easy child to deal with. In fact, I was impossible to handle. The only person to whom I would listen to and show respect was my teacher for the first two years in primary, to whom I called father several times. Once he left, I was all alone, but to this day, he's the only father figure I ever had. A kind man, generous whom would stay after school teaching me, as during school time and once I had finished the lesson and my homework I taught my classmates.

I had an incredible curiosity that I have not lost, which often led me to explore the mystery beyond everything. Everything was and is fascinating. Behind everything there's always a mystery that once unveiled brings an amazing story. I was born with memories not easy to explain. Memories of a different dimension, and answers to this life. I knew that what my parents were doing to me was wrong, and I was not going to put up with it.

In time, and as the abuse increased, such memories faded and I got lost in the world like everyone else. Not due to a complete amnesia of such knowledge, but because I wanted to protect the soul, and all the secrets within the most beautiful part of me, not knowing then that the soul is always protected. 

My response to abuse was not the most intelligent, almost suicidal. Yes, I was terrified when I heard the door opening, knowing that it was my father, and that he would find another reason to hit me and blame me for it, but I was not going to let him get away with it. Soon after this, I became unemotional, on-your-face-defiant. I made a pact with myself, to become the strongest soul that's ever lived. This is a very important moment in my life, as it is the day my inner child is born. A child my age didn't have the strength to survive the tyranny of the hand that thought knew all, but the mythological character that I created within, could bear the unbearable. And it did.

The question that raises here is this, and it applies to everyone: if I was able to bring such a strength to merely survive, what wouldn't I be able to create when I decided that what I want to do is to live instead? The power each of us has within is infinite. We just have to believe it. 

I became reckless, despondent and defiant. I wouldn't shut my mouth regardless of the amount of blows I received. One thing I knew for sure was that that man was going to lose his soul beating me. Not only this, I provoked him constantly. I refused to lie in order to avoid a beating. Sometimes I also refused to tell the truth. 

Even though it might not be clear, this is to say that I attracted everything that happened. My early dislike of my father comes from the period before birth, but this is a story I am not yet willing to share, as it is irrelevant to the subject. 

The truth is that both my parents were afraid of me. I was precocious, a sponge for knowledge, articulate and I had magic with me. From an early age I had an incredible sense of direction, and since I remember I always knew I was going to be a writer. School was too easy. Everything was too easy, and I've always been able to see through people, and to say the most inconvenient truth at the most inconvenient time. If my life has been hard, it is because I chose to. However, this is not excuse for what they did to me, nor what other parents do to their children. They also have to take responsibility for their actions. 

The consequences that this treatment had in my life were disastrous for a long period: violence, hatred and self-hatred, alcohol -I started drinking long before ten-, hard drugs, depression, the inability to keep a relationship feeling suffocated by love and a sense of safety, promiscuity, fear of intimacy or a complete disregard for authority. I was not only alone; it was me against the world. 

As I write, I feel as if I was writing about a different person. In fact, I am. I cannot longer identify with whom I use to be.

The fairies of childhood, grown up and unemployed.

My childhood dreams were to travel far away or studying in a boarding school, so as soon as I could I left home. As moving out was not enough, I also left the country and have only returned to visit for short periods since. Sometimes to find home, we have to leave it first.

But not everything is what it seems in life. Everything has a meaning, and a different reading once perspective is changed. Perspective can only be changed by understanding. In my case, it was not easy to get there.

At some point in my life I regained most of the magical abilities I had as a child. In order to understand my parents and what was done to me, I had to see first what their childhood and their lives had been like. When I was more lost than ever, I was also fortunate to find great teachers that led me there. I was sick of being me, desperately wanting a break from my life. 

Talking to my parents was not a possibility. They were not open enough to facilitate such information. I live in a different country and we have never been close. The only way I could find out was to access the Akashic records, see it and feel it for myself. My parents didn't have it easy either, and I could see that many of the things that were done to me, did not even come from them, but from an energy that has been in the family for generations. It's not possible to blame someone when they don't even know what they are doing or why they do it. If anything, I feel compassion for them.

This energy, I'm happy to say, has died with this generation, my siblings and me. Children in the family are now born in a place of love, healing and freedom. This change is obvious in the new children in the family. It is possible to break the cycle, and only for this, everything I went through was worth it.

Everyone who knows me personally also knows that I've always been very vocal about my situation as a child. I made a flag of my wound. I hesitated to share this story because my parents are still alive, and no matter what, they're good people. They didn't know better. If I share it today is because there are many people out there who have been through similar experiences, and any reference they might find of healing traumas of childhood abuse are not enough. 

It is possible to understand, to forgive and to heal from everything, even if at times it seems impossible. I cannot tell anyone else what to do or what to feel. Being angry and traumatised by situations like this is normal, and everyone deserves to take the time they need until they heal. The intention of this blog post is to show others that it is possible. It is not an easy path, and answers don't come as fast as one would wish them to.

Even after accessing the Akashic records, healing didn't come immediately. It would take months until everything changed for me. I do remember the day and the moment that my perception changed, and with it, everything else. It was a powerful moment of letting go, and at looking back in my life, I saw a completely different picture. There was love all over. I just couldn't see it. What I remembered as a childhood in black and white, suddenly was full of colour. The magic returned, and I no longer had to be that strong character that the inner chiild, L'enfant Terrible created. 

However raw, unfair or cruel what I have shared today might seem, I wouldn't change my childhood for anything, and if I had to do it all over again, I would choose the same again. What I went through taught me the lessons I needed, so as to be able to do my work in this period of the journey. I can only be grateful to my parents for everything they gave me; the good and the bad. I love them both.

While for years and years, memories of childhood were painful, today there is no emotion attached to them. It's like watching a film in which I was the main actor without feelings of harm or the impression of having been victimised. If feels as if all emotions that related to childhood trauma and abuse had been removed, what allows me to see different ones; the good and loving stories I had lost memory of. Through the trail of these stories I can return to the child I once was, and engage in a different narrative that without a doubt will transform my life today, and in years to come.

Earlier on I described the attitude I developed at a very early age, and which I shaped with a vengeance in order to cause as much mayhem as possible. By revisiting childhood from a different perspective and seeing more colourful scenarios, I can also see that I've been helping and teaching others from a very early age, that love was always there unconditionally. I was born with a purpose, like everyone else. 

The only way to remember is to reconnect with the child. The child we once were knows all the answers. And that child is still here, very much alive, buried under all the superficial debris one has to learn in order to survive. But once there's a connection with the child, there's also clarity.

If it took so long to heal was due to my choice of lifestyle: sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. I led an unfeeling life, and for this I can't blame anyone, not even myself. Everything is a lesson. If I didn't learn sooner was because I was not ready to see the truth about myself. The irony is that what we are most afraid of, our own truth, it is also the most beautiful.

I have spoken with my mother about that period and only recently in a conversation she initiated. When she realised what it was like, she apologised. I never asked. I said that everything is forgiven, that no longer matters, and that I love her. I know she only opened up because she no longer saw me as a threat. She felt safe with me for the first time in decades.

My father, however, will have none of it and still lives in denial. We'll get there in time. There's always time and I'll go as far as to say that an apology is not even necessary. Sometimes we have to learn to live without an apology, no matter how much harm others have caused us. The truth cannot be hidden. The longer it takes, the harder it hits.

I have to thank my friend Ines for encouraging to share this story over two years ago. Then I couldn't see the value of it, but today I see that returning to life lessons can be healing, as well as being able to see details that might have appeared insignificant then, but hide beautiful truths and incredible resources to heal and expand. She believes that there are many men going through similar situations to the one I went through, and that in the case of men we are not so prepared to admit that we might have been unable to defend ourselves from abuse. 

I am neither a victim, nor a survivor. I just Am.

No one could touch me for years without getting a defensive or aggressive reaction from me, not even my girlfriends. Today it is possible, although I no longer seek intimacy through others or with others. Intimacy is a journey I have to walk alone.

This is my story, my experience and some of the steps I took to heal. Every journey and every experience is different. Therefore, healing can come in many ways, multiple forms and from different people. Everyone must choose what's best for them. Every journey is one valid way to heal, and to find home. Follow your intuition, and above all, your heart. The right people and circumstances will appear. Don't be afraid to ask for help, pay for it, even if you have to borrow money as I did. Once you see the light again, if you cannot see it today, you will see that it was worth it to stay in the path for as long as you have, and to realise that that light has always being there.

This Simple Practice Could Change Your Life (Empaths Must Read)


There are numerous blog posts, articles and memes online that call to pay attention to others, especially those that provide guidance and insights about the behaviour of other people and what impact has on us. These messages are useful, as they are confirmation of the feelings one has with dealing with others. Gaining an insight on the relationships we have and create with others can avoid disappointment. Nothing that our gut instinct won't tell. 

Empaths in particular feel these energies. The truth is that the majority people can feel the energies of others. Empaths have this sense more developed, and if there's a sudden awakening to this ability, it is normal to focus on it. There are fewer people who are completely unfeeling. 

There are as many quotes on focusing on the self, the inner journey and the silence within. They are, however, silent, and not as strident as the first group.

To avoid or to decrease the effect that the energies of others have on us, -although this might not be possible in all cases, as some people might be energetically imbalanced- there's a simple practice we can take on. The first step is awareness that we are focusing our attention on others, and somehow not only attracting a negative energy, but also provoking it in a way. The fact that I can perceive your energy and intention, doesn't mean you cannot feel mine. If I focus on finding the negative in others, negative is without a doubt what I will find. 

Let's instead focus the attention on ourselves. Pause when meeting someone and be aware of your space and energy. Focus on this only. Let your soul flow and grow. Greet others with the touch of your soul, not with words. It only takes a few seconds. When we met someone else in silence, and hold our space and energy while acknowledging them, we invite a connection with their soul. They might not be aware of it at the time, nor we have to inform them. This is a silent exercise for your own benefit. Meet and honour the soul, then the person. See if in time there's a change in feeling and perception.

It might not be possible every time there's a meeting with someone. Practice when you are in a cue in a shop or in a public area and when no direct interaction takes place. Instead of looking at the behaviour, seek the soul. 

This can also be practiced when we're alone at home. Look at your surroundings, but focus the attention on yourself. You will see the soul expanding and the environment changing within seconds. You could also stand in the middle of a park, or in a coffee shop, and look at people from a distance. But don't focus the attention on people, feel their souls. Souls can communicate anytime from any distance. 

When I do a soul or spiritual reading, I allow silence. The connection is immediate, and as I transcend their physicality, I see and hear the message of the soul, allowing me to write it in a way that is recognised by the person I'm reading. These connections are truly magical, and for an hour, there's only two souls playing and honouring each other. From my experience, it's incredible how a person changes when the soul is allowed to participate. In this case I am only facing a photo and looking at the eyes, hence the only option is to reach the deepest silence within and listen. 

If everyone in the word could keep quiet for an hour and simply acknowledge each other's souls, everything would change from one moment to the other. There's an incredible power in silence, as there is in focusing all the attention in ourselves. It might not be an easy exercise to practice to begin with, but in time it will make a difference to your life and the way you feel about others, how you feel about yourself, and overall feeling. Remember, everyone has a soul; everyone is a soul playing human. Too bad humans forgot to play.